MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
Pinned
MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
· Jan 20
Sorry I said your boyfriend looks like Baron Harkonnen. It was childish & wrong. He's floating right behind me, isn't he?
Reposted by MrsFitz
it's thanksgiving eve so don't forget to put out a glass of gravy and some stuffing for ol' farmer greg
November 27, 2025 at 4:51 AM
it's thanksgiving eve so don't forget to put out a glass of gravy and some stuffing for ol' farmer greg
The Great Pistachio Shelling Injury of 2025.
November 27, 2025 at 1:36 PM
The Great Pistachio Shelling Injury of 2025.
Reposted by MrsFitz
The increasingly dampened timbre of the tragic road crew still dropping their bins despite the storm shall be our snow gauge.
November 27, 2025 at 12:52 PM
The increasingly dampened timbre of the tragic road crew still dropping their bins despite the storm shall be our snow gauge.
Reposted by MrsFitz
When you slick your hair back at night to be dark and late nitey but your cowlick is naturally against casual lite spelling
November 27, 2025 at 5:58 AM
When you slick your hair back at night to be dark and late nitey but your cowlick is naturally against casual lite spelling
Reposted by MrsFitz
Fine. I will share my nana’s creamed corn recipe but I shan’t be responsible for anyone’s boner
November 27, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Fine. I will share my nana’s creamed corn recipe but I shan’t be responsible for anyone’s boner
Reposted by MrsFitz
Reminder that it is important to be ungrateful today so that Thanksgiving hits even harder
November 26, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Reminder that it is important to be ungrateful today so that Thanksgiving hits even harder
Reposted by MrsFitz
starting a fight in the family group chat about how to pronounce pecan
November 26, 2025 at 7:30 PM
starting a fight in the family group chat about how to pronounce pecan
Reposted by MrsFitz
My wife has some friends over so I went into the bathroom to let out a loud fart and my son (from his room) yelled ‘Yessir!’
November 26, 2025 at 6:46 PM
My wife has some friends over so I went into the bathroom to let out a loud fart and my son (from his room) yelled ‘Yessir!’
Reposted by MrsFitz
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
Reposted by MrsFitz
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
November 26, 2025 at 6:32 PM
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
Reposted by MrsFitz
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
November 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
An insulated gravy boat would fix me; I just know it.
November 26, 2025 at 7:30 PM
An insulated gravy boat would fix me; I just know it.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I wish I wasn’t as dumb as I was. am. was?
November 26, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I wish I wasn’t as dumb as I was. am. was?
Reposted by MrsFitz
A couple good things about being the host for a holiday gathering is not having to travel and also having your own bedroom to retreat to if you need a little break from everyone or the perfect place to stress eat a whole pie in peace
November 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
A couple good things about being the host for a holiday gathering is not having to travel and also having your own bedroom to retreat to if you need a little break from everyone or the perfect place to stress eat a whole pie in peace
Reposted by MrsFitz
I banged my head on a hanging lamp, and now I'm in the temporary-amnesia episode.
November 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
I banged my head on a hanging lamp, and now I'm in the temporary-amnesia episode.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Sinister bitches are waiting for the right time to school you, my friend.
November 24, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Sinister bitches are waiting for the right time to school you, my friend.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
November 23, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
Reposted by MrsFitz
Someone is stealing my hair ties in an effort to drive me insane.
November 24, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Someone is stealing my hair ties in an effort to drive me insane.
Reposted by MrsFitz
i enjoy watching people hula hoop, but i still try not to stare. what if they can’t help it?
November 23, 2025 at 11:23 PM
i enjoy watching people hula hoop, but i still try not to stare. what if they can’t help it?
Reposted by MrsFitz
ME: please pass the salt, zebra
HER: it's debra
HER: it's debra
November 23, 2025 at 7:55 PM
ME: please pass the salt, zebra
HER: it's debra
HER: it's debra
Reposted by MrsFitz
Sometimes you have to talk to yourself out loud because your brain won't listen to your inside voice
November 24, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Sometimes you have to talk to yourself out loud because your brain won't listen to your inside voice
Reposted by MrsFitz
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
November 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I’m happy to share my grandmother’s favorite sweet potato recipe
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
November 23, 2025 at 8:41 PM
I’m happy to share my grandmother’s favorite sweet potato recipe
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
Reposted by MrsFitz
Me: I want my pills wrapped in cheese like my dogs.
Pharmacist:
Pharmacist:
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Me: I want my pills wrapped in cheese like my dogs.
Pharmacist:
Pharmacist: