Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
Pinned
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
To my aunts who said I’d be a real heartbreaker: WRONG.
November 29, 2025 at 5:06 AM
To my aunts who said I’d be a real heartbreaker: WRONG.
It bears mentioning that some who wander are lost AF.
November 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
It bears mentioning that some who wander are lost AF.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
Reposted by Kip Conlon
The lines on the freeway are merely polite suggestions for this Lyft driver
November 28, 2025 at 7:05 AM
The lines on the freeway are merely polite suggestions for this Lyft driver
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Me: Not today, Satan.
Jesus: Blessed are you for rejecting the dark--
Me: Not you, either.
Jesus: Blessed are you for rejecting the dark--
Me: Not you, either.
November 28, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Me: Not today, Satan.
Jesus: Blessed are you for rejecting the dark--
Me: Not you, either.
Jesus: Blessed are you for rejecting the dark--
Me: Not you, either.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Me: So like, did you get bitten by a piano?
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
November 28, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Me: So like, did you get bitten by a piano?
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
My “never getting dumped” tattoo only mocks me now.
November 28, 2025 at 7:55 PM
My “never getting dumped” tattoo only mocks me now.
Imagine there's no Heaven. The impact on harp sales alone.
November 28, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Imagine there's no Heaven. The impact on harp sales alone.
“I have a name, you know. It’s Roscoe. My name is Roscoe.”—Pavlov’s dog
November 27, 2025 at 11:49 PM
“I have a name, you know. It’s Roscoe. My name is Roscoe.”—Pavlov’s dog
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Elmer Fudd is in bed with a beautiful woman, but she's sad. She says she feels all alone in the world. Elmer says, "The treatment is simple. The great bunny Bugs is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." And the woman bursts into tears. Says, "But Elmer...I am Bugs Bunny."
October 22, 2023 at 9:19 AM
Elmer Fudd is in bed with a beautiful woman, but she's sad. She says she feels all alone in the world. Elmer says, "The treatment is simple. The great bunny Bugs is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." And the woman bursts into tears. Says, "But Elmer...I am Bugs Bunny."
Sick of his power trip. I work for no man, Bruce Springsteen.
November 27, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Sick of his power trip. I work for no man, Bruce Springsteen.
You could tell in bartending school this guy was going places. Bars, probably.
November 27, 2025 at 5:22 AM
You could tell in bartending school this guy was going places. Bars, probably.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
When the song isn’t for you but it’s still a good song.
November 24, 2025 at 11:21 PM
When the song isn’t for you but it’s still a good song.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Telling my cat she's my perfect little bowl of cheese because she don't know what the fuck I'm saying
November 21, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Telling my cat she's my perfect little bowl of cheese because she don't know what the fuck I'm saying
Reposted by Kip Conlon
it's more of a pout for help
November 26, 2025 at 5:35 AM
it's more of a pout for help
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
Reposted by Kip Conlon
the names bond. gold bond.
November 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
the names bond. gold bond.
You have to understand these cartoons were made during a different time, when falling off a cliff and making a little “poof” on impact seemed funny.
November 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
You have to understand these cartoons were made during a different time, when falling off a cliff and making a little “poof” on impact seemed funny.
As something of an expert in psychology, I am well aware of the Dunkin-Cougar Effect.
November 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
As something of an expert in psychology, I am well aware of the Dunkin-Cougar Effect.
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
November 26, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
November 26, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
November 26, 2025 at 12:41 AM
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
November 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
November 10, 2023 at 3:52 AM
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.