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me, during turbulence on a flight: omg i think we’re gonna crash aaaarrrrggghhh !!

also me: i’ll have the goldfish crackers. and the plantains. thanks

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 22h

Thought that counts!

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

I’m tired of arguing. Concede all of my points and let’s grab dinner.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

The best part of watching old game shows is the mental workout I get adjusting prizes for inflation.

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 2d

Alas, the hamburger needed more help than the box could provide.

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 1d

heavy is the pinky that holds the phone

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t know much but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

Writing limericks allows me to combine my love of poetry with my passion for filth.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you! Entersanement is the goal!

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

Wise man. Their goalie pigged out on Ho-Hos before the game.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

Happier than a goth kid finding out what a flock of crows is called.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

It’s not about winning, it’s about covering the spread.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 2d

Flavored Seltzer: What If Bubbly Water Had Just Enough Of A Shadow Of Flavor To Annoy You?™️

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry I was rude, I didn’t want to be invited again

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 5d

me as a basketball referee:

[blows whistle]
"Oh, wait, no. My bad."

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Reposted by Kip Conlon

It's TheGirlPie! @thegirlpie.bsky.social · Nov 24

My former flame describes his beloved: "She's amazing in a hundred different ways." My guy describes me: "Chatty."

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 3d

Saw my childhood bully working as an usher at a porno theater. I also make the popcorn.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 3d

I'm at a point in my life where I overestimate people's interest in my perspective.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 3d

Is it hand-gliding or hang-gliding? Anyway, sorry for your loss.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 4d

My t-shirt is meant to raise awareness I am Irish and you should kiss me.

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