Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
Crickets' Choice award winner
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Pinned
Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
· Aug 24
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Reposted by Davoid
God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes god super mad.
July 1, 2023 at 10:03 PM
God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes god super mad.
Reposted by Davoid
Waitress: enjoy your meal
Me: you too
Waitress:
Me: ...is a good band is what i was gonna say
Me: you too
Waitress:
Me: ...is a good band is what i was gonna say
November 30, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Waitress: enjoy your meal
Me: you too
Waitress:
Me: ...is a good band is what i was gonna say
Me: you too
Waitress:
Me: ...is a good band is what i was gonna say
Reposted by Davoid
Goods is too modest. They should be called baked greats.
November 29, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Goods is too modest. They should be called baked greats.
Post your favorite "Transformers" character. Wrong answers only.
November 30, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Post your favorite "Transformers" character. Wrong answers only.
Reposted by Davoid
can’t stand the mona lisa. I hate it when women smile. What’s so funny? My tiny penis?
November 30, 2025 at 1:41 AM
can’t stand the mona lisa. I hate it when women smile. What’s so funny? My tiny penis?
Reposted by Davoid
unlike SOME people, i don’t subskeet
November 27, 2025 at 6:08 PM
unlike SOME people, i don’t subskeet
At least this pic is getting a proper roasting, unlike the poor shredded turkey
Karoline Leavitt's Thanksgiving spread. Please dissect.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
November 29, 2025 at 8:10 PM
At least this pic is getting a proper roasting, unlike the poor shredded turkey
Reposted by Davoid
Assassin who uses box office poison on all their targets
November 27, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Assassin who uses box office poison on all their targets
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Pig
Weasel
Sloth
Rat
Chicken
(there was a mirror in the wild)
Pig
Weasel
Sloth
Rat
Chicken
(there was a mirror in the wild)
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Alligator
Big Horn Sheep
Manatee
Jackrabbit
Rattlesnake
Alligator
Big Horn Sheep
Manatee
Jackrabbit
Rattlesnake
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Mountain lion
Bobcat
Rattlesnake
Elephant seal
Gray fox
Mountain lion
Bobcat
Rattlesnake
Elephant seal
Gray fox
November 29, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Pig
Weasel
Sloth
Rat
Chicken
(there was a mirror in the wild)
Pig
Weasel
Sloth
Rat
Chicken
(there was a mirror in the wild)
Reposted by Davoid
I don’t hate The Little Drummer Boy but I do lose interest after that promisingly horny first line
November 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
I don’t hate The Little Drummer Boy but I do lose interest after that promisingly horny first line
Reposted by Davoid
*pointing at the clothes I’m wearing being consumed by fire*
this old thing?
this old thing?
November 29, 2025 at 4:44 PM
*pointing at the clothes I’m wearing being consumed by fire*
this old thing?
this old thing?
Reposted by Davoid
GORILLA: [repeatedly signing the word “irregardless”]
ME: What’s this asshole’s problem?
ME: What’s this asshole’s problem?
July 24, 2023 at 11:16 PM
GORILLA: [repeatedly signing the word “irregardless”]
ME: What’s this asshole’s problem?
ME: What’s this asshole’s problem?
Reposted by Davoid
Rocking back and forth in the fetal position really works your core
November 29, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Rocking back and forth in the fetal position really works your core
Reposted by Davoid
Assessing the feng shui in your fish tank, horrified
November 29, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Assessing the feng shui in your fish tank, horrified
Reposted by Davoid
cracking open a tall boy who’s a cold one
November 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
cracking open a tall boy who’s a cold one
Reposted by Davoid
Me: So like, did you get bitten by a piano?
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
November 28, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Me: So like, did you get bitten by a piano?
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.
Reposted by Davoid
Watched Bladerunner again last night. Would have been so much better if they had gone with the original idea, that instead of origami unicorns, Edward James Olmos’ character had made balloon animals.
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
November 28, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Watched Bladerunner again last night. Would have been so much better if they had gone with the original idea, that instead of origami unicorns, Edward James Olmos’ character had made balloon animals.
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
Reposted by Davoid
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
I would never in a million years put those reindeer antlers on my car, but yeah, I like when other people do it ok??
November 28, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I would never in a million years put those reindeer antlers on my car, but yeah, I like when other people do it ok??
Reposted by Davoid
[Sings drunkenly.]
November 27, 2025 at 10:09 PM
[Sings drunkenly.]
Reposted by Davoid
(Chef having sex) behind. Right here. Inside.
November 27, 2025 at 3:59 PM
(Chef having sex) behind. Right here. Inside.
Reposted by Davoid
There’s nothing I can do
Mitsubishi Eclipse of the heart
Mitsubishi Eclipse of the heart
November 28, 2025 at 2:55 AM
There’s nothing I can do
Mitsubishi Eclipse of the heart
Mitsubishi Eclipse of the heart
Reposted by Davoid
you may know the cruel term "butter face." but have you heard "butter knife," where you are attracted to everything but her knife
November 28, 2025 at 3:58 AM
you may know the cruel term "butter face." but have you heard "butter knife," where you are attracted to everything but her knife
Reposted by Davoid
when jesus resurrected the romans were like no way and everyone else was like Yahweh
November 28, 2025 at 4:09 AM
when jesus resurrected the romans were like no way and everyone else was like Yahweh
Reposted by Davoid
if i only could
make a deal with god
and get him to WAP our places
make a deal with god
and get him to WAP our places
November 28, 2025 at 4:09 AM
if i only could
make a deal with god
and get him to WAP our places
make a deal with god
and get him to WAP our places