Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Pinned
Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
· Nov 17
57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.
The ladder stayed out because, every day, Gary found that when the ceiling tiles went up, not all the tools came down.
December 8, 2025 at 12:41 PM
The ladder stayed out because, every day, Gary found that when the ceiling tiles went up, not all the tools came down.
Gary was no electrician, which is why he’s up at 2 a.m. still trying to install that 78¢ outlet.
December 7, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Gary was no electrician, which is why he’s up at 2 a.m. still trying to install that 78¢ outlet.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
So jolly and bright I burst into a supernova
December 7, 2025 at 4:32 AM
So jolly and bright I burst into a supernova
Reposted by Gary Muppet
In this last third of my life I think I’m going to get really pretentious about art.
December 7, 2025 at 7:01 AM
In this last third of my life I think I’m going to get really pretentious about art.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I leave my bed unmade; I like to see the exact moment I gave up bliss for responsibility.
December 6, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I leave my bed unmade; I like to see the exact moment I gave up bliss for responsibility.
Ok. Time to be productive. Gary threw some wood on the fire, laced his boots, grabbed his tools, and rummaged in the fridge for half an hour.
December 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Ok. Time to be productive. Gary threw some wood on the fire, laced his boots, grabbed his tools, and rummaged in the fridge for half an hour.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Middle-age did not prepare me for the abuse my bony knees endure.
December 4, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Middle-age did not prepare me for the abuse my bony knees endure.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
liking my posts isn’t enough i need you to make me tamales
December 5, 2025 at 11:17 PM
liking my posts isn’t enough i need you to make me tamales
Reposted by Gary Muppet
just get in, I ain't got time for all that explainin shit
(donuts)
(donuts)
December 5, 2025 at 11:37 PM
just get in, I ain't got time for all that explainin shit
(donuts)
(donuts)
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I wonder if Santa still has a cigarette lighter in his sled
December 6, 2025 at 2:50 AM
I wonder if Santa still has a cigarette lighter in his sled
Reposted by Gary Muppet
it’s bad for your health to be alive
December 6, 2025 at 4:17 AM
it’s bad for your health to be alive
Reposted by Gary Muppet
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
December 6, 2025 at 6:05 AM
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
Reposted by Gary Muppet
who up feeding their mogwai after midnight
December 6, 2025 at 6:49 AM
who up feeding their mogwai after midnight
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I'm gonna need Clarissa to explain this.
December 6, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I'm gonna need Clarissa to explain this.
And then Gary, a 49-year-old adult, just realized for the very first time that there was no law against him dribbling the ball in the house.
December 6, 2025 at 2:45 PM
And then Gary, a 49-year-old adult, just realized for the very first time that there was no law against him dribbling the ball in the house.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
You can pry my emojis from my 🥶 💀🙌🏽
December 5, 2025 at 11:04 PM
You can pry my emojis from my 🥶 💀🙌🏽
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I would put "taken" in my bio but I don't want Liam Neeson coming to my house.
December 5, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I would put "taken" in my bio but I don't want Liam Neeson coming to my house.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
*pours entire bag of bacon bits onto cauliflower pizza
I fixed it!
I fixed it!
December 6, 2025 at 12:18 AM
*pours entire bag of bacon bits onto cauliflower pizza
I fixed it!
I fixed it!
Reposted by Gary Muppet
"I like standing up and saying things."
December 5, 2025 at 6:40 PM
"I like standing up and saying things."
Reposted by Gary Muppet
My bong may be dirty, but my socks are fresh as hell
December 5, 2025 at 1:28 PM
My bong may be dirty, but my socks are fresh as hell
Reposted by Gary Muppet
The most annoying sound in the world? Gotta be the beating heart under the floorboards. We get it. We’re haunted by our conscience and slowly going mad. It’s been done!
December 5, 2025 at 6:23 AM
The most annoying sound in the world? Gotta be the beating heart under the floorboards. We get it. We’re haunted by our conscience and slowly going mad. It’s been done!
Reposted by Gary Muppet
It's 1140pm. I'm too old to be eating a shit ton of spicy food at this hour. Damnit.
December 5, 2025 at 6:39 AM
It's 1140pm. I'm too old to be eating a shit ton of spicy food at this hour. Damnit.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Black Friday
Small Business Saturday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
Bankruptcy Wednesday
Small Business Saturday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
Bankruptcy Wednesday
December 3, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Black Friday
Small Business Saturday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
Bankruptcy Wednesday
Small Business Saturday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
Bankruptcy Wednesday