Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Self-proclaimed employee-of-the-month
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Pinned
Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
· Nov 17
57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Switching from dark mode to plaid mode
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
February 11, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Switching from dark mode to plaid mode
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
Reposted by Gary Muppet
i simply did not realize how many kinds of skiing exist
February 11, 2026 at 1:05 PM
i simply did not realize how many kinds of skiing exist
Gary checked the calendar. Fuck. No way this was March Madness. It was February Folly at best.
February 11, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Gary checked the calendar. Fuck. No way this was March Madness. It was February Folly at best.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
February 11, 2026 at 4:52 AM
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
Reposted by Gary Muppet
*talking into a banana* no you hang up first
February 10, 2026 at 7:19 PM
*talking into a banana* no you hang up first
By including a constant rate of free fall, Gary calculates both his bank account balance and his team’s chances of an 𝐍𝐁𝐀 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓈 appearance.
February 11, 2026 at 3:07 AM
By including a constant rate of free fall, Gary calculates both his bank account balance and his team’s chances of an 𝐍𝐁𝐀 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓈 appearance.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
When does the Swedish chef come out in this game
February 10, 2026 at 6:20 PM
When does the Swedish chef come out in this game
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I’m at my most offended when my cat cleans himself after I pet him
February 10, 2026 at 12:53 PM
I’m at my most offended when my cat cleans himself after I pet him
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Let's play, how to piss someone off in under a minute..family bored games.
February 3, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Let's play, how to piss someone off in under a minute..family bored games.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I saw a job posting for plant maintenance and I was like aww🌱 that would be fun, but it was for something else entirely.
February 9, 2026 at 12:41 AM
I saw a job posting for plant maintenance and I was like aww🌱 that would be fun, but it was for something else entirely.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
No Kings includes Draft Kings
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
No Kings includes Draft Kings
Reposted by Gary Muppet
alright who's kid is selling girl scout cookies? i'm ready to buy
February 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
alright who's kid is selling girl scout cookies? i'm ready to buy
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.
February 8, 2026 at 3:25 PM
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Sometimes I like to stand up really fast to remember what drugs feel like
September 25, 2024 at 1:25 AM
Sometimes I like to stand up really fast to remember what drugs feel like
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Olympic curling, but on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and eating snacks instead
February 8, 2026 at 3:17 PM
Olympic curling, but on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and eating snacks instead
Reposted by Gary Muppet
[ R E D A C T E D ]
February 8, 2026 at 6:07 AM
[ R E D A C T E D ]
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Let me know when you get back from church, I have the funniest thing to tell you guys
February 8, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Let me know when you get back from church, I have the funniest thing to tell you guys
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I can’t believe in god because I’m on the other side of my 30’s and I like to skateboard.
February 8, 2026 at 2:55 AM
I can’t believe in god because I’m on the other side of my 30’s and I like to skateboard.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
*deadly serious*
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have squirrels to feed
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have squirrels to feed
February 7, 2026 at 6:14 PM
*deadly serious*
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have squirrels to feed
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have squirrels to feed
Reposted by Gary Muppet
They should make a snooze button that hits you in the throat
February 7, 2026 at 7:34 PM
They should make a snooze button that hits you in the throat
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Not “woke” just awake with eyes and a brain
February 7, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Not “woke” just awake with eyes and a brain
Reposted by Gary Muppet
legally im not allowed to discuss what i did for the klondike bar
February 7, 2026 at 2:16 PM
legally im not allowed to discuss what i did for the klondike bar
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Was there a Muppet thing I should know about?
February 7, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Was there a Muppet thing I should know about?
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Who you are when you drop the toilet paper roll is the real you
February 7, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Who you are when you drop the toilet paper roll is the real you
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I’m not prepared for the transition from muppet show centric Bluesky back to regular style.
February 7, 2026 at 2:48 PM
I’m not prepared for the transition from muppet show centric Bluesky back to regular style.