RealLifeMommy3
@reallifemommy3.bsky.social
3 kids, 1 dog, and a full time job. What could possibly go wrong?! posts are mine ➡️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:am4xjbphjjv7zy5riv7gbfr3/feed/aaacwhjhkazly
Pinned
Dentist: have you been clenching your jaw lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
Some kid prank called me repeatedly last night so I finally answered the phone with, “hello, you’ve reached 1986, please leave a message after the beep” the kid was so confused he hasn’t called back
December 3, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Some kid prank called me repeatedly last night so I finally answered the phone with, “hello, you’ve reached 1986, please leave a message after the beep” the kid was so confused he hasn’t called back
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Expanding my capacity to receive by punching a few more belt notches
December 1, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Expanding my capacity to receive by punching a few more belt notches
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Breaking news: I've officially entered hour 6 of untangling my Christmas lights. Morale is low, coffee is gone, and I'm considering just wrapping the whole knot around the tree and calling it "modern art."
December 1, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Breaking news: I've officially entered hour 6 of untangling my Christmas lights. Morale is low, coffee is gone, and I'm considering just wrapping the whole knot around the tree and calling it "modern art."
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
An advent calendar, but it's just me opening a hamper of laundry to wash each day.
December 2, 2025 at 2:16 PM
An advent calendar, but it's just me opening a hamper of laundry to wash each day.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My 12yo: (takes a bite of 5 stacked crackers at the same time)
Me: 1 at a time
12yo: I am
Me: No...
12yo: I ate 1/5 of 5 crackers equalling 1 whole cracker in the bite
Me:
12yo:
Me: Carry on
Me: 1 at a time
12yo: I am
Me: No...
12yo: I ate 1/5 of 5 crackers equalling 1 whole cracker in the bite
Me:
12yo:
Me: Carry on
December 3, 2025 at 12:32 AM
My 12yo: (takes a bite of 5 stacked crackers at the same time)
Me: 1 at a time
12yo: I am
Me: No...
12yo: I ate 1/5 of 5 crackers equalling 1 whole cracker in the bite
Me:
12yo:
Me: Carry on
Me: 1 at a time
12yo: I am
Me: No...
12yo: I ate 1/5 of 5 crackers equalling 1 whole cracker in the bite
Me:
12yo:
Me: Carry on
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I asked my daughter if she had a good day at kindergarten and she said “yeah, I didn’t yell at anyone!” Sounds like everyone else had a good day too!
November 20, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I asked my daughter if she had a good day at kindergarten and she said “yeah, I didn’t yell at anyone!” Sounds like everyone else had a good day too!
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My 8yo has his friend over for a play date and I’m not convinced I’ve heard the word “bro” this many times in my life
November 22, 2025 at 9:18 PM
My 8yo has his friend over for a play date and I’m not convinced I’ve heard the word “bro” this many times in my life
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My 3yo was struggling to put her shirt on, so I told her she was very capable and she said “no, you’re cakeable!”
Is she gonna turn me into a cake?
Is she gonna turn me into a cake?
November 23, 2025 at 12:26 AM
My 3yo was struggling to put her shirt on, so I told her she was very capable and she said “no, you’re cakeable!”
Is she gonna turn me into a cake?
Is she gonna turn me into a cake?
Kids: What’s for breakfast?
Me: Turkey
Kids: Then what’s for lunch?
Me: Turkey
Kids: What about dinner?
Me: Pizza…just kidding, it’s turkey
Me: Turkey
Kids: Then what’s for lunch?
Me: Turkey
Kids: What about dinner?
Me: Pizza…just kidding, it’s turkey
December 1, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Kids: What’s for breakfast?
Me: Turkey
Kids: Then what’s for lunch?
Me: Turkey
Kids: What about dinner?
Me: Pizza…just kidding, it’s turkey
Me: Turkey
Kids: Then what’s for lunch?
Me: Turkey
Kids: What about dinner?
Me: Pizza…just kidding, it’s turkey
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news
November 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
just spent 22 minutes trying to decide which yogurt to buy. went with the same one i always get. living life on the edge.
November 29, 2025 at 1:18 PM
just spent 22 minutes trying to decide which yogurt to buy. went with the same one i always get. living life on the edge.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
if you’re cold they’re cold
let your demons in
let your demons in
November 30, 2025 at 6:39 PM
if you’re cold they’re cold
let your demons in
let your demons in
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
When I was thinking about getting bangs, I wish someone would have warned me that I could wake up and look like Joe Dirt
November 20, 2025 at 12:55 PM
When I was thinking about getting bangs, I wish someone would have warned me that I could wake up and look like Joe Dirt
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I saw a Cybertruck driver use a turn signal correctly today. He also used it incorrectly but the point is that who knew they even have them
November 30, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I saw a Cybertruck driver use a turn signal correctly today. He also used it incorrectly but the point is that who knew they even have them
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Opens fridge.
Takes out old leftover baked beans.
Puts in newly leftover baked beans.
Closes fridge.
Takes out old leftover baked beans.
Puts in newly leftover baked beans.
Closes fridge.
November 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Opens fridge.
Takes out old leftover baked beans.
Puts in newly leftover baked beans.
Closes fridge.
Takes out old leftover baked beans.
Puts in newly leftover baked beans.
Closes fridge.
It’s time for my yearly lecture on how retail workers should not be made to work on Thanksgiving. Everyone deserves a holiday! We can wait till Friday to shop.
November 28, 2025 at 3:55 AM
It’s time for my yearly lecture on how retail workers should not be made to work on Thanksgiving. Everyone deserves a holiday! We can wait till Friday to shop.
I don’t care what thread count your sheets are, if they don’t have a “top/bottom” label they’re not classy enough for me
November 19, 2025 at 11:46 AM
I don’t care what thread count your sheets are, if they don’t have a “top/bottom” label they’re not classy enough for me
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My Thanksgiving plan is to eat semi responsibly until the dessert comes out and I lose all dignity.
November 18, 2025 at 6:02 PM
My Thanksgiving plan is to eat semi responsibly until the dessert comes out and I lose all dignity.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Start marinating your liver now if you want to be ready in time for holidays with your family
November 18, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Start marinating your liver now if you want to be ready in time for holidays with your family
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
[my gf on her death bed]
idk, what do you want to eat?
idk, what do you want to eat?
November 19, 2025 at 9:24 AM
[my gf on her death bed]
idk, what do you want to eat?
idk, what do you want to eat?
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Sherlock Holmes sure was a braggadocios mf about finishing elementary school
November 19, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Sherlock Holmes sure was a braggadocios mf about finishing elementary school
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
black friday 2005: we have great deals one day only!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
November 18, 2025 at 6:55 PM
black friday 2005: we have great deals one day only!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Friend: what are you eating?
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
November 16, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Friend: what are you eating?
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I’m sorry, I have to cancel, I agreed to those plans while ovulating and I’m not that person anymore.
November 16, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I’m sorry, I have to cancel, I agreed to those plans while ovulating and I’m not that person anymore.