Magnetically Matt
@momentarilymatt.bsky.social
Gas station food aficionado, father. Possibly a donkey.
Matts of Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/momentarilymatt.bsky.social/lists/3lb3c3birbg2w
Matts of Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/momentarilymatt.bsky.social/lists/3lb3c3birbg2w
Pinned
Me: Alexa, fix me.
Alexa: I'm sorry, you are a desicated husk of something that once resembled a human being. You can only be fixed by renewing your Amazon Prime subscription. Would you like me to renew your subscription? Make a gurgling sound if you agree to our new terms and conditions.
Alexa: I'm sorry, you are a desicated husk of something that once resembled a human being. You can only be fixed by renewing your Amazon Prime subscription. Would you like me to renew your subscription? Make a gurgling sound if you agree to our new terms and conditions.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
i got a bunch of ppl to admit that luigi is hot today. it was pretty easy because he is
November 28, 2025 at 3:32 AM
i got a bunch of ppl to admit that luigi is hot today. it was pretty easy because he is
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Lets face it, you will never have 0.00001% of Elons wealth but I guarantee you he has not and never will have 0,0001% of the love you have. The richest man on earth has no one who cares for him. No one who loves him, no one he loves and in the end, he'll have a fancy grave with no one to mourn him.
November 26, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Lets face it, you will never have 0.00001% of Elons wealth but I guarantee you he has not and never will have 0,0001% of the love you have. The richest man on earth has no one who cares for him. No one who loves him, no one he loves and in the end, he'll have a fancy grave with no one to mourn him.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
Guys, you need to stop being so hot
November 28, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Guys, you need to stop being so hot
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Hot dads in your neighborhood are thankful for any chance to show off our socket wrenches
November 27, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Hot dads in your neighborhood are thankful for any chance to show off our socket wrenches
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Omg! I forgot I could be drinking rn!
November 27, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Omg! I forgot I could be drinking rn!
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
welcome to the dong show
November 28, 2025 at 2:28 AM
welcome to the dong show
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Balls are the tits of the taint
November 28, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Balls are the tits of the taint
Not thankful for whatever just invaded my house and left
November 28, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Not thankful for whatever just invaded my house and left
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
I WILL INTERACT WHEN I AM DEAD.
November 28, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I WILL INTERACT WHEN I AM DEAD.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Getting stuffed like a turkey would fix me.
November 27, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Getting stuffed like a turkey would fix me.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
I can't be the only one who wonders what crazy shit goes down on Sesame Street when they're not filming
November 24, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I can't be the only one who wonders what crazy shit goes down on Sesame Street when they're not filming
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Me: [eavesdropping on wife’s convo]
Wife: the problem with Grant is that he has a really tiny-
Me: oh no
Wife: -brain
Me: oh thank god
Wife: the problem with Grant is that he has a really tiny-
Me: oh no
Wife: -brain
Me: oh thank god
February 9, 2024 at 2:36 AM
Me: [eavesdropping on wife’s convo]
Wife: the problem with Grant is that he has a really tiny-
Me: oh no
Wife: -brain
Me: oh thank god
Wife: the problem with Grant is that he has a really tiny-
Me: oh no
Wife: -brain
Me: oh thank god
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
peak belly bumping hours
November 27, 2025 at 10:15 PM
peak belly bumping hours
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
I'm thankful for a lot of things but mostly I'm thankful for this gorgeous woman that I've shared most of my life with. She puts up with my bullshit and gave me 2 beautiful, intelligent children 😍🥰
November 27, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I'm thankful for a lot of things but mostly I'm thankful for this gorgeous woman that I've shared most of my life with. She puts up with my bullshit and gave me 2 beautiful, intelligent children 😍🥰
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.
November 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
blessings to all of those about to be roasted by their families today
November 27, 2025 at 4:55 PM
blessings to all of those about to be roasted by their families today
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Thankful for all 1554 of you that follow me. But definitely the core group of you I'm always interacting with here. Thanks for making life interesting!
November 27, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Thankful for all 1554 of you that follow me. But definitely the core group of you I'm always interacting with here. Thanks for making life interesting!
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
I am thankful for clarity, reason and calm. I am able to see the gifts I have in my life and appreciate the people that love me regardless of where I’m at.
I am lucky. I am loved and I am grateful.
I am lucky. I am loved and I am grateful.
November 27, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I am thankful for clarity, reason and calm. I am able to see the gifts I have in my life and appreciate the people that love me regardless of where I’m at.
I am lucky. I am loved and I am grateful.
I am lucky. I am loved and I am grateful.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
when cooking for your in-laws don’t forget the eye of newt
November 27, 2025 at 4:33 PM
when cooking for your in-laws don’t forget the eye of newt
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
... turkey's cooking too fast.
This is a problem.
This is a problem.
November 27, 2025 at 4:26 PM
... turkey's cooking too fast.
This is a problem.
This is a problem.
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
gobble gobble mfers
November 27, 2025 at 3:43 PM
gobble gobble mfers
Reposted by Magnetically Matt
Stuff me, baste me, and cover me in gravy. Good morning and Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! 🩷
November 27, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Stuff me, baste me, and cover me in gravy. Good morning and Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! 🩷