Dominic Caruso
@dominiccaruso1.bsky.social
I was a snowball in hell.
[he/his]
[he/his]
Pinned
We should flip a pancake directly into space
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
rain or shine, my windshield wipers are always on full speed as a threat display
December 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
rain or shine, my windshield wipers are always on full speed as a threat display
Stay cloudy, outlook
December 12, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Stay cloudy, outlook
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
*tries to answer the phone casually like this is something i do all the time*
<red tailed hawk screech>
<red tailed hawk screech>
December 12, 2025 at 1:22 AM
*tries to answer the phone casually like this is something i do all the time*
<red tailed hawk screech>
<red tailed hawk screech>
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
when i shuffle off this mortal coil you can expect my zombified remains to burst through the coffin lid, dig its way up through six feet of cold packed earth, and thriller-walk down the street to pick up my holds at the library
December 12, 2025 at 3:39 AM
when i shuffle off this mortal coil you can expect my zombified remains to burst through the coffin lid, dig its way up through six feet of cold packed earth, and thriller-walk down the street to pick up my holds at the library
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
[coffee with MJM, LESBIAN BESTIE, & OTHER FRIEND]
OTHER FRIEND: Oh my God, my six-year-old said that a chicken has a lot of “hidden meat compartments.”
LESBIAN BESTIE: Hahaha. So cute. You realize he’ll kill someone within the year, right?
MJM: He has 1,000% killed someone already.
OTHER FRIEND: Oh my God, my six-year-old said that a chicken has a lot of “hidden meat compartments.”
LESBIAN BESTIE: Hahaha. So cute. You realize he’ll kill someone within the year, right?
MJM: He has 1,000% killed someone already.
December 11, 2025 at 11:18 PM
[coffee with MJM, LESBIAN BESTIE, & OTHER FRIEND]
OTHER FRIEND: Oh my God, my six-year-old said that a chicken has a lot of “hidden meat compartments.”
LESBIAN BESTIE: Hahaha. So cute. You realize he’ll kill someone within the year, right?
MJM: He has 1,000% killed someone already.
OTHER FRIEND: Oh my God, my six-year-old said that a chicken has a lot of “hidden meat compartments.”
LESBIAN BESTIE: Hahaha. So cute. You realize he’ll kill someone within the year, right?
MJM: He has 1,000% killed someone already.
Woke up surrounded by grapes & pineapple chunks, suspended in lime jello
December 12, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Woke up surrounded by grapes & pineapple chunks, suspended in lime jello
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
i do not like living out of boxes i want to live out of the unusually large aquarium at the dentist’s office
December 11, 2025 at 8:10 PM
i do not like living out of boxes i want to live out of the unusually large aquarium at the dentist’s office
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
sharks, i come today with an opportunity for you to invest in a cask of the finest amontillado in the world. please follow me into the catacombs so you can try it for yourselves
December 11, 2025 at 10:01 PM
sharks, i come today with an opportunity for you to invest in a cask of the finest amontillado in the world. please follow me into the catacombs so you can try it for yourselves
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
does anyone want to send me $2 million. i have bad intentions
December 11, 2025 at 11:59 PM
does anyone want to send me $2 million. i have bad intentions
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
December 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Doing knife tricks just out of frame on the zoom call and cutting my fingers up pretty bad
December 11, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Doing knife tricks just out of frame on the zoom call and cutting my fingers up pretty bad
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
The vet asked if our cat was displaying any antisocial behaviours so I replied 'He can be a bit of a mean drunk' and he was not even slightly amused. I think he's going to make me wear the cone of shame.
December 11, 2025 at 11:01 AM
The vet asked if our cat was displaying any antisocial behaviours so I replied 'He can be a bit of a mean drunk' and he was not even slightly amused. I think he's going to make me wear the cone of shame.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Creatures in the void love to tell you how nothingness feels like a warm embrace
December 11, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Creatures in the void love to tell you how nothingness feels like a warm embrace
Instead of water, I took the giant leap & filled the Christmas tree stand with eggnog
December 11, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Instead of water, I took the giant leap & filled the Christmas tree stand with eggnog
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
According to my fitness app, I sat for 15 miles on my couch today.
December 9, 2025 at 6:51 PM
According to my fitness app, I sat for 15 miles on my couch today.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Best part of hat weather is feeling like a farm boy with sad news when you take it off inside.
December 10, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Best part of hat weather is feeling like a farm boy with sad news when you take it off inside.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
The heart would put a tracker on all of its worries if it could but has enough trust in worrying technology, it's organic. Follow behind a worry at a cleansed distance in worry oil, don't be wired like peppermint
December 10, 2025 at 5:48 AM
The heart would put a tracker on all of its worries if it could but has enough trust in worrying technology, it's organic. Follow behind a worry at a cleansed distance in worry oil, don't be wired like peppermint
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Took some doing but I finally gerrymandered my GOP relatives out of Christmas dinner
December 10, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Took some doing but I finally gerrymandered my GOP relatives out of Christmas dinner
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Sitting 0.0001cm away from the TV watching my favorite pixel. I'm not interested in any of the other ones
December 10, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Sitting 0.0001cm away from the TV watching my favorite pixel. I'm not interested in any of the other ones
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
"I'm not in denial, I'm in open rebellion" damn that quote goes hard
“I am so bored by AI. One of the things I love about the theatre is AI can’t do it.”
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 AM
"I'm not in denial, I'm in open rebellion" damn that quote goes hard
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Well dearest, it would seem you’ve missed yet another opportunity to push me down the stairs
December 9, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Well dearest, it would seem you’ve missed yet another opportunity to push me down the stairs
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
puddles come in so many different flavors and i must try them all
December 8, 2025 at 6:47 PM
puddles come in so many different flavors and i must try them all
I suppose if I have a personal philosophy it’s “don’t get trapped in an elongated shadow in the deserted town square of a de Chirico painting.” Anyway, please select all of the squares with murderous clowns & click “Verify.”
December 10, 2025 at 6:19 AM
I suppose if I have a personal philosophy it’s “don’t get trapped in an elongated shadow in the deserted town square of a de Chirico painting.” Anyway, please select all of the squares with murderous clowns & click “Verify.”
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
running out of time for this 😬
this is the year i'm finally gonna figure out how to eat spaghetti without getting all tangled up and scared
December 10, 2025 at 3:58 AM
running out of time for this 😬