Dominic Caruso
@dominiccaruso1.bsky.social
I was a snowball in hell.
[he/his]
[he/his]
Pinned
We should flip a pancake directly into space
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
running out of time for this 😬
this is the year i'm finally gonna figure out how to eat spaghetti without getting all tangled up and scared
December 10, 2025 at 3:58 AM
running out of time for this 😬
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
google maps (punching me in the stomach): fastest route is uber
me: but i want to take the subway
google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes
me: i like subway
google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster
me: underground choo-choo
me: but i want to take the subway
google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes
me: i like subway
google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster
me: underground choo-choo
December 9, 2025 at 2:35 PM
google maps (punching me in the stomach): fastest route is uber
me: but i want to take the subway
google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes
me: i like subway
google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster
me: underground choo-choo
me: but i want to take the subway
google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes
me: i like subway
google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster
me: underground choo-choo
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
A sweater for a snake would just be a long cotton pipe. You could still put an elbow patch on it though
December 9, 2025 at 1:08 PM
A sweater for a snake would just be a long cotton pipe. You could still put an elbow patch on it though
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
i wish they'd stop calling it "the old abandoned mine" i live there
December 9, 2025 at 3:57 AM
i wish they'd stop calling it "the old abandoned mine" i live there
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Clocks match a lot of things throughout a day, not just how you wave your arms for certain times. The day your tie was born, when your socks got married, the end of your drapes when you caught them up in another window. It's not coincidence.
December 9, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Clocks match a lot of things throughout a day, not just how you wave your arms for certain times. The day your tie was born, when your socks got married, the end of your drapes when you caught them up in another window. It's not coincidence.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
All Canadian songs eventually turn a little wistful, like wet snow collecting on the boughs of a white pine
December 27, 2024 at 11:40 PM
All Canadian songs eventually turn a little wistful, like wet snow collecting on the boughs of a white pine
Cranking out hat after hat with my hat-shaped snow mold
December 9, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Cranking out hat after hat with my hat-shaped snow mold
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social Happy Birthday! Here’s a picture I made of some people playing mourra at the Italian festival 😃
December 8, 2025 at 6:35 PM
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social Happy Birthday! Here’s a picture I made of some people playing mourra at the Italian festival 😃
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Sometimes I’ll listen to opera while watching The Three Stooges on mute for the full effect
December 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Sometimes I’ll listen to opera while watching The Three Stooges on mute for the full effect
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I miss the days when it was just me and my cudgel against the world
December 7, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I miss the days when it was just me and my cudgel against the world
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I write because I want to be known. And yet, most of what I write is amusing deflection, functionally false at its core. Anyway, can I get a large order of Crab Rangoon to start
December 7, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I write because I want to be known. And yet, most of what I write is amusing deflection, functionally false at its core. Anyway, can I get a large order of Crab Rangoon to start
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
December 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there
December 7, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
The plan for tomorrow is to do all my chores and socialise with everyone and fix everything that's ever been wrong with the world. Today I'm mostly focused on rolling a hamburger patty into a cylinder so it'll fit in a hot dog bun.
December 7, 2025 at 4:25 PM
The plan for tomorrow is to do all my chores and socialise with everyone and fix everything that's ever been wrong with the world. Today I'm mostly focused on rolling a hamburger patty into a cylinder so it'll fit in a hot dog bun.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands
December 6, 2025 at 4:48 PM
If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
A whale watching trip can become a whale kissing trip if the captain is brave and you know what to say to the whale.
December 7, 2025 at 1:23 AM
A whale watching trip can become a whale kissing trip if the captain is brave and you know what to say to the whale.
Got kicked outta the symphony hall again for punctuating the end of each musical phrase of the orchestra’s performance by going “YEAH” with my deep bass voice.
December 6, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Got kicked outta the symphony hall again for punctuating the end of each musical phrase of the orchestra’s performance by going “YEAH” with my deep bass voice.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
December 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Enjoying the flavors of the season by sprinkling a couple of fistfuls of fresh pine needles over my oatmeal each morning.
December 6, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Enjoying the flavors of the season by sprinkling a couple of fistfuls of fresh pine needles over my oatmeal each morning.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
7-Eleven just awarded me its new peace prize for eating a roller hotdog.
December 6, 2025 at 11:33 AM
7-Eleven just awarded me its new peace prize for eating a roller hotdog.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Just saw an absolute beast of a motorcycle swoop down and pluck some cyclists right out of their nesting ground
December 5, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Just saw an absolute beast of a motorcycle swoop down and pluck some cyclists right out of their nesting ground
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane