Dominic Caruso
@dominiccaruso1.bsky.social
I was a snowball in hell.
[he/his]
[he/his]
Pinned
We should flip a pancake directly into space
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
December 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there
December 7, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
The plan for tomorrow is to do all my chores and socialise with everyone and fix everything that's ever been wrong with the world. Today I'm mostly focused on rolling a hamburger patty into a cylinder so it'll fit in a hot dog bun.
December 7, 2025 at 4:25 PM
The plan for tomorrow is to do all my chores and socialise with everyone and fix everything that's ever been wrong with the world. Today I'm mostly focused on rolling a hamburger patty into a cylinder so it'll fit in a hot dog bun.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands
December 6, 2025 at 4:48 PM
If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
A whale watching trip can become a whale kissing trip if the captain is brave and you know what to say to the whale.
December 7, 2025 at 1:23 AM
A whale watching trip can become a whale kissing trip if the captain is brave and you know what to say to the whale.
Got kicked outta the symphony hall again for punctuating the end of each musical phrase of the orchestra’s performance by going “YEAH” with my deep bass voice.
December 6, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Got kicked outta the symphony hall again for punctuating the end of each musical phrase of the orchestra’s performance by going “YEAH” with my deep bass voice.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
December 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Enjoying the flavors of the season by sprinkling a couple of fistfuls of fresh pine needles over my oatmeal each morning.
December 6, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Enjoying the flavors of the season by sprinkling a couple of fistfuls of fresh pine needles over my oatmeal each morning.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
7-Eleven just awarded me its new peace prize for eating a roller hotdog.
December 6, 2025 at 11:33 AM
7-Eleven just awarded me its new peace prize for eating a roller hotdog.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Just saw an absolute beast of a motorcycle swoop down and pluck some cyclists right out of their nesting ground
December 5, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Just saw an absolute beast of a motorcycle swoop down and pluck some cyclists right out of their nesting ground
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Once December hits in this house, I only refer to "popcorn" as "corn for popping" and as you would expect, my family hates it.
December 5, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Once December hits in this house, I only refer to "popcorn" as "corn for popping" and as you would expect, my family hates it.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
do you pronounce it ahnvelope or eenveloop
December 6, 2025 at 2:39 AM
do you pronounce it ahnvelope or eenveloop
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I don't think I've been wearing enough lamé.
December 6, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I don't think I've been wearing enough lamé.
Who else up burning their heart?
December 6, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Who else up burning their heart?
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I saw a kick me sign on the back of a car that said everything out of context is just everything to me, and that was how I got kicked back into the car I used to use for going out, taping myself to something
December 5, 2025 at 5:45 AM
I saw a kick me sign on the back of a car that said everything out of context is just everything to me, and that was how I got kicked back into the car I used to use for going out, taping myself to something
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
The most annoying sound in the world? Gotta be the beating heart under the floorboards. We get it. We’re haunted by our conscience and slowly going mad. It’s been done!
December 5, 2025 at 6:23 AM
The most annoying sound in the world? Gotta be the beating heart under the floorboards. We get it. We’re haunted by our conscience and slowly going mad. It’s been done!
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
i didn’t do much this weekend but my friend daryl chucked a stone and it killed two birds never seen anything like it
December 5, 2025 at 2:07 AM
i didn’t do much this weekend but my friend daryl chucked a stone and it killed two birds never seen anything like it
It’s not too late to book your corporate holiday party in the luxurious south elevator of my building.
December 5, 2025 at 3:55 AM
It’s not too late to book your corporate holiday party in the luxurious south elevator of my building.
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
Instead of counting sheep I like to imagine squirrels piloting rickety homemade zeppelins over a river of piping-hot béchamel sauce. This doesn't help me get to sleep, in fact it leaves me feeling confused and visibly agitated
December 4, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Instead of counting sheep I like to imagine squirrels piloting rickety homemade zeppelins over a river of piping-hot béchamel sauce. This doesn't help me get to sleep, in fact it leaves me feeling confused and visibly agitated
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
the only problem with having a bird feeder is you will eventually attract a bird with a sinister aura that the other birds start to worship
December 2, 2025 at 4:17 PM
the only problem with having a bird feeder is you will eventually attract a bird with a sinister aura that the other birds start to worship
Reposted by Dominic Caruso
I hate when I see a tattered Jolly Roger through my spyglass. Pirates should mend their flags in accordance with nautical flag etiquette
December 3, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I hate when I see a tattered Jolly Roger through my spyglass. Pirates should mend their flags in accordance with nautical flag etiquette