Peacefully falling back into a deep slumber spooning a giant cheese sandwich

google maps (punching me in the stomach): fastest route is uber

me: but i want to take the subway

google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes

me: i like subway

google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster

me: underground choo-choo

dreamed most people kept warm outside using a compact, dorsal coalburning apparatus, precipitating a rare, immanent risk of burning to death, the eventuality of which was known colloquially as "Gods black jest"

this weather too cold for my chain mail cardigan

Taking a big green pill to expel the Grunch Worm from my body after it made its way through my digestive tract stealing all the nutrients to try and teach me that human connection is what I truly hungered for

waiting patiently for the meeting agenda to reach "Other Matters" so i can make a motion to bring This Meeting – And Indeed – All Meetings, to an end

The Visit

Company wide email asking everyone to start pulsating at a higher frequency

My low poise buddy is constantly getting staggered by the wind

People are beginning to realise I’m just a swarm of moths underneath a trenchcoat

Art by • Ricardo León Cordero

imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin

worried about the new day T̸̮̳͍͗H̸̤̹̔̐͝E̵̋̂͜ ̵̦͔̙̀ ̵̜̎̃̅ ̴̙̉̐͘B̸̩̲̰͒̓̊Ė̶͕̘̀̐L̶̝̮͘L̴̨̬̈́O̶̫̱͝W̵̺̙̒͒̚ͅŚ̴̬̙̐ between Wednesday and Thursday... i don't love that it's called The Bellows and i don't want to report to a Labor Outpost. Ș̴̀̋͑̀T̵̞̪̱͎̄̈͂̒̀̎̈́̉͗͋͒̏̿͐͝O̴̼͈̮͌Ķ̸͉̬͔̤̹́͛͋̃E̴̡͚̭̣͇̘̱͆͆̋͑̽̌͑̆̈̿ ̴̢̪̦̭͚̜̳̃̎̒̈́͋͛̌ ̷̢̢̻͔͇͔̦̰͚̖̫͔͍̔̋͗̾́̈̾̃̽̌͑͂̓́̕ ̷̼̣̯̞̭͈̹͚̭͆̈́͛̏͗͛́́̊̋̐͑͜͝T̴̯͙̀̐̽̀̔̾͌̎͐̄́͑͘͘͠Ḧ̸͎̘́̾̆́̂̂̔͝͝͝E̷͚̳͕̐͐̅̊̆́̎͑͐̆̾̀̚͘ͅ ̷̡̛̂̀̽́́͋̀͋͠ ̶̥̪͖͔̬̝̺̗͉̼͈̪͖̐̀̀̽̓̓͌̄̇͘ ̴̹̼̋̑̓̈̋̏̕͘̕̚̚͘͠͠F̵̛̫͐̽̅̔̾̓̓͛L̴̢̢͙̳̹̬͉̯̞͓̲̓̋̅̓͒̈́͆̀͜Ą̵̡͍̪͓̬͈̭̬̗̼̝̦̈̀M̸͎̲̦̮̗̀̂͊̍͠E̷͓͓͒͊͂̓͑̂̇̈́̕͝͠͝S̷̖̜͓̰̱̺̝͍̏̓̒͑͒̾͗̍̕͝. black square looks cool though. it's weird that Satan is here ̸͉͎̤̖̠̠̟̮̲̬̀̈̈́͆̅̍͂̋͝D̷̡̨̳̭̫̗̥̬̰́͒́̑͐͘O̵̬͇͙͐̈́̔̂̿̈́̈̌̀͜N̷̥̟̅͌͆́̂͠͠'̵̧͕͍̭̈́͠Ţ̸̟̤͌̉̈́ ̶̯̿͋S̴̱̬̻͈̞̼̄̊̽̆͛̓E̸̦͊͊͛̔̌̿E̴̱̽̋̅̓̾̀͋̚ ̷͙͇͇̞̅W̷̛̙̝̬͙͓̮̻̌̓͆̉͋͐̇̓̒͜Ḧ̸̜̪͂͛Y̸͈̬͓̱̖͗̽̐̚ ̴̢͕̞̳̘͖̣̜̀̇̀͂͊͋͘T̷̨̻̺͍̜̣̘̜̣̔͛͗̋́͝Ḩ̶̧̳̮̉̃̒͒́͑̕̕A̶̛̦͕͆̑̋͂̅͑͠T̶̲̰͐͂͒̀͗̇̓̎̕'̷̫̦͉̤̟͙̦̲̈̾͛̂͒͘͜ͅS̸̰͖͈̱̞̈̾̐̿̈́̃͘͘͘͜ ̴͈͔̝̼̱̪̍̈́͆̆̌̀ͅW̷̨̨̧̧̬̬̬̝͈͒̈͆̿̈̐̊͘͠͝Ḛ̷̡̝̘̺̤́͗͂̅̏̎͑̀Į̷͍̲̤̈̔̔́̇̇̿R̷̛̞͕͈̹̻̟̠͒̎͊̌̒̄́̒̓D̸̫̮̐̇̈̚͘acking off a LOT more

When’s the next moonless night, let’s hang out and venture off the trail

Circling a field for secret reasons

The Grinch is saying, “roast beast is bussin.” And he’s doing the harlem shake as well.

Could one eat a banana in a new and interesting way? Or has all divine inspiration eroded back into the unrelenting ocean of time

Top seeds to chew for healthy coat and eyes

guys love it when a girl emits a low hum

Frowning at the great apparatus

My fathers side all have squeaky lung. Every time my friends dog chews on a toy I’m filled with dread

letters from Europa

It’s fun to fling things. More things should be socially okay to fling into the air

Just got sentenced to 7,300 years of joy and delight

A Blue Jay takes flight with a spray of snow.