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danmentos.com
dan mentos
@danmentos.com
19K followers 350 following 1.7K posts
it’s too late I’ve ruined it
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 17h
a millinery is one thousandth of a nery
1 41
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 19h
one of us serves an essential need for a functioning society and the other one grows crops
1 5
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 19h
that's right I'm the farmer in this situation
1 2
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 19h
thanks for not using my name
1 5
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 21h
Columbo’s Day? I still haven’t taken down my Barnaby Jones Day decorations
1 6 62
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
just switch to watching cricket and get so bored you'll be fast asleep by 2:30
15
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
Time for troll dad:

You: I’m thinking of a letter between A and Z

Son: why?

You : that’s right
1 10
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
DEADLINE: holy shit
1 19
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
is that baseball game still going
5 5 110
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
yes please
2
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
there’s nothing in the rule book that says a dog can’t be the avatar
1 6
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
Rollie Fingers
3 35
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
the only fires I see are in his pants. on account of the lies, darth
2 2 60
Reposted by dan mentos
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · Apr 20
they should make the whole song out of the part where the drums come in
8 70
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4d
my job is to throw a ball to a guy all day and now everyone’s mad at me for throwing the ball to that guy
1 1 52
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4d
having something to kick stuff under is a human right
7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4d
hot take: the sleepytime bear is complicit by inaction
2 4 46
Reposted by dan mentos
frovo.bsky.social
Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · Oct 9
[forest]
ME: omg there’s a wolf
WIFE: where?
ME: no the regular kind
6 190 830
Reposted by dan mentos
lanyardigan.bsky.social
lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · Jan 7
This is my post-baby body (I used to be a baby)
2 320 1.9K
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
professor the next morning: holy shit
7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
a trigger warning would have been nice I thought this was real
1 5
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
8 hours? wow no need to brag
1 7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
every documentary needs a foil
1 2
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
🏆
1 2
Reposted by dan mentos
captainacab.airbud.website
alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 7d
[coworker asks me what my plans are this weekend]

me: am i being detained?
1 45 320