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marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween
@marlebean.bsky.social
11K followers 1.6K following 1.9K posts
If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7ehz6ygwahh2y3lgk7dq3xs2/feed/aaacgqxvtud72
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marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 5d
My husband bought a giant Costco size bag of sugary candy for Halloween instead the chocolatey bag...
Why does he hate me so much?!
3 9 36
Reposted by Marloween
giandoh.bsky.social
Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 11h
[Grammy Awards]

Usher: I can show myself to my seat, thanks.
1 11 51
Reposted by Marloween
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 11h
she put the ‘ho’ in hopeless romantic
6 18
Reposted by Marloween
juiceticles.bsky.social
Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 9h
Being shunned would fix me
7 14
Reposted by Marloween
giandoh.bsky.social
Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 7h
Gurrll ima rock you like a hurricane!

*covers her in plywood*
1 14
Reposted by Marloween
benedictsred.bsky.social
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 6h
Please stop saying “I don’t know who needs to hear this.” No one does. This is the internet
16 80 430
Reposted by Marloween
crabbydaddy.bsky.social
ghost crab @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 6h
*sitting in the dentist chair being raised by the hygienist*

me: i bet this is how a car feels before its oil is changed
7 18
Reposted by Marloween
bobbuddyfoster.bsky.social
Bob ‘Buddy’ Foster @bobbuddyfoster.bsky.social · 6h
When in doubt, take a nap
3 9
Reposted by Marloween
gregthemiller.bsky.social
Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 6h
"what are you gonna be for halloween" a problem
9 51 150
Reposted by Marloween
girlawhirl.bsky.social
Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · Jun 30
With the amount of hairs falling out of my head daily, it's amazing I haven't been implicated in any local crime scenes.
37 82 710
Reposted by Marloween
coolnessinc.bsky.social
Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 5d
Took a social media break thinking I was doomscrolling too much.

Turns out the doom is everywhere, so I came back. At least here there are memes.
1 8
Reposted by Marloween
stewnami.bsky.social
Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 5d
The real friends were the farts we trusted along the way
1 5
Reposted by Marloween
twinsurvivalist.bsky.social
Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 5d
*gets out of bed*

Parkour!
13 53
Reposted by Marloween
titsmcdick.bsky.social
Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 5d
I bet an octopus would be really good at moon walking if they just applied themselves.
3 17 58
Reposted by Marloween
mrsjparker.bsky.social
Jennifer Parker @mrsjparker.bsky.social · 5d
5yo: Mommy, there’s hair on your arm.

Me: Yep.

5yo: You’re turning into Dad.
2 17
Reposted by Marloween
benedictsred.bsky.social
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 5d
Rob! Rob, it’s Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Zombie!
10 89 490
Reposted by Marloween
hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 5d
It’s like ten thousand apps when all you need is a hobby.
1 44 100
Reposted by Marloween
lisabug.bsky.social
lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 5d
You can't spell pharmaceutical without UTI.
6 22 97
Reposted by Marloween
blairloudly.bsky.social
Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 5d
hanging on by a thread sounds way too cute and diy for what it feels like
1 36 98
Reposted by Marloween
sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social
Sentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 5d
If you were to get a better dog it'd be called a pupgrade but the problem with that is all dogs are already the best.
3 7
Reposted by Marloween
bornmiserable.bsky.social
born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 5d
19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you
6 110 420
Reposted by Marloween
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 4d
Coworker: is this AI? *shows me a video of MLK issuing the Stone Cold Stunner to The Undertaker before flicking him off*

Me: no, that happened
15 79
Reposted by Marloween
monotoes.bsky.social
Toes @monotoes.bsky.social · 4d
Sometimes I look back at when life was simpler, like when the apps on my phone automatically updated.
1 1
Reposted by Marloween
verucas-alt.bsky.social
Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 4d
I like it really hard in the morning...

my sudoku, that is.
5 6 39
Reposted by Marloween
granitedhuine.bsky.social
Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 4d
Panic attacks are jazz hands for the soul.
2 36 110
Reposted by Marloween
bestestname.bsky.social
Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 4d
Wanting a Nobel Peace Prize is the most insane thing he's ever done, and that's saying a lot
4 2 25