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Tits McDick

@titsmcdick.bsky.social

3.6K followers 940 following 1.7K posts

only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her 🏳️‍🌈

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · Aug 2

This season of America really sucks.

43 170 1.2K

Reposted by Tits McDick

Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 3h

A lot of TV shows now have a warning about "adult situations" . . .
but then you watch and no one is going to work, paying bills or cleaning up dog poop.

2 44 110

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 22h

Tuesdays are a great day to make your problems everyone else’s problems.

1 6 17

Reposted by Tits McDick

Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 1d

Neither miserable, nor happy,
but a secret more complicated third thing

3 31 81

Reposted by Tits McDick

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 1d

soup is crazy one day someone said dinner will be wet

29 210 990

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Jeanine 💙 @madammaleficent.bsky.social · 1d

Some people have guardian angels.
I have a raccoon with a crowbar whispering...
"Let's make it worse."

2 24 140

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

More like these boobies.

a woman in a pink dress is dancing with the words `` jiggles jiggles jiggles '' written below her .

ALT: a woman in a pink dress is dancing with the words `` jiggles jiggles jiggles '' written below her .

media.tenor.com

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve convinced myself that a slice of carrot cake equals 1 serving of vegetables.

6 17 57

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

Pervert.

a woman is riding a rodeo bull in front of a hooters sign

ALT: a woman is riding a rodeo bull in front of a hooters sign

media.tenor.com

1 1

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve never understood why men call them hooters. Mine don’t hoot. I’ve had them my whole life and they’ve never made a sound.

6 17 59

Reposted by Tits McDick

alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 2d

how mad do they get in arizona if you pronounce it "Tuck son"

18 13 150

Reposted by Tits McDick

(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 2d

heavy is the pinky that holds the phone

4 55 200

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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 2d

Alas, the hamburger needed more help than the box could provide.

4 92 260

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Microplastics Spookmelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 2d

they feed us poison (overdressed salads)
so we buy their cures (fancy seltzer)
while they suppress our medicine (burgers)

7 29

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 2d

This is not what the 21st century looked like in the brochure.

6 43 130

Reposted by Tits McDick

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 2d

thou art damn’d to hell

10 77 470

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 2d

These days I finish every conversation with “…and never forget, Jesus wasn’t white.”

5 9

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 2d

freezing my pills for the week in seven ice cubes to crunch on

1 2 22

Reposted by Tits McDick

deadshock @debbshock.blue · 2d

any date can be a speed date. get up and leave

9 29 160

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Rob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 2d

*pushing baby stroller through carwash*

2 9 37

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Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 2d

*using a Sharpie to write “Juicy” on the ass of my cargo shorts*

1 25 73

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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 3d

ever danced with a kitten under the pale moon light

5 32 130

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 2d

Seriously, people…it’s the fucking guns.

3 11

Reposted by Tits McDick

born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 5d

19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you

6 110 420

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 3d

I once sat through an entire marathon. It was exhausting. Spilled my beer everywhere.

2 18

Reposted by Tits McDick

lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 4d

If sitting at your kitchen table slightly drunk, watching the sunset, and listening to those old songs that meant something is wrong, then I don't want to be right

5 40 160