Brett
@weakcookies.bsky.social
Cats, music, lolz, from TN, live in Indy, Crohns, married since 2000 to a real super lady.
Pinned
Brett
@weakcookies.bsky.social
· Jan 29
I like big CLOUDS 🧖♂️
and I cannot LIE 😇
I refer ya to my alveo-LI 🫁
That when a nail heats up 📛
and hits the ooey gooey gunk 🦠
and I’m coughing up a chunk 💨
I gets DUMB! 😵💫
Wanna grab the juice 🧃
Cuz a dab done knocked me loose 🫨
and I cannot LIE 😇
I refer ya to my alveo-LI 🫁
That when a nail heats up 📛
and hits the ooey gooey gunk 🦠
and I’m coughing up a chunk 💨
I gets DUMB! 😵💫
Wanna grab the juice 🧃
Cuz a dab done knocked me loose 🫨
As a kid I was prone to embellish the truth or even fabricate stories to seem cool/get a laugh/whatever. I remember telling Joseph Lynn at preschool that my family had not only a Dukes of Hazzard General Lee replica, but also a *boat* General Lee.
November 28, 2025 at 7:03 PM
As a kid I was prone to embellish the truth or even fabricate stories to seem cool/get a laugh/whatever. I remember telling Joseph Lynn at preschool that my family had not only a Dukes of Hazzard General Lee replica, but also a *boat* General Lee.
There isn’t a thing that my in-laws don’t have fuckin 3 or 5 or 10 of. Buying shit in packs
November 28, 2025 at 6:14 PM
There isn’t a thing that my in-laws don’t have fuckin 3 or 5 or 10 of. Buying shit in packs
We used to be a proper country
yeah horses and carriages used to regularly run people down/trample them to death/mangle them in wheels
November 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
We used to be a proper country
Reposted by Brett
today instead of buying barely discounted crap, get a paid subscription to an independent media outlet! a little $ goes a long way towards supporting a free press. 🗞️
drop links to your own or your faves in the replies so ppl can easily sign up (bonus if you add a couple words about why it’s good!):
drop links to your own or your faves in the replies so ppl can easily sign up (bonus if you add a couple words about why it’s good!):
November 28, 2025 at 4:36 PM
today instead of buying barely discounted crap, get a paid subscription to an independent media outlet! a little $ goes a long way towards supporting a free press. 🗞️
drop links to your own or your faves in the replies so ppl can easily sign up (bonus if you add a couple words about why it’s good!):
drop links to your own or your faves in the replies so ppl can easily sign up (bonus if you add a couple words about why it’s good!):
Bout to confront this unruly horde of leftovers, then kettle them into my mouth
November 28, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Bout to confront this unruly horde of leftovers, then kettle them into my mouth
My mother in law is an incorrigible rube
November 28, 2025 at 4:29 PM
My mother in law is an incorrigible rube
This is downtown Morristown, Tennessee. In-laws are here. Suz and I were married at that church, First United Methodist, year 2000. This is the first time I’ve actually explored these raised walkways. Cold as heck here today!
November 28, 2025 at 3:21 PM
This is downtown Morristown, Tennessee. In-laws are here. Suz and I were married at that church, First United Methodist, year 2000. This is the first time I’ve actually explored these raised walkways. Cold as heck here today!
“The Old Masters? Like Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams?”
November 28, 2025 at 2:21 PM
“The Old Masters? Like Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams?”
I left a wallet on a Delta flight into SLC. We connected and went on to Portland. The wallet continued on its way to Jackson Hole. A baggage agent called me and we had to coordinate getting it. Luckily we had a buddy living in Jackson Hole who retrieved and shipped the wallet.
At Kings Island my wallet came out of my pocket during a ride on The Beast. Only due to wife asking “do you have everything?” as we left did i check in the seat of the train and there it was.
Mid 2000’s I lost a wallet riding a roller coaster at Six Flags over Georgia. We knew where it went but it was such an enormous hassle to get it back it was easier to just … cancel multiple credit cards and schedule a trip to the DMV
November 28, 2025 at 1:57 PM
I left a wallet on a Delta flight into SLC. We connected and went on to Portland. The wallet continued on its way to Jackson Hole. A baggage agent called me and we had to coordinate getting it. Luckily we had a buddy living in Jackson Hole who retrieved and shipped the wallet.
At Kings Island my wallet came out of my pocket during a ride on The Beast. Only due to wife asking “do you have everything?” as we left did i check in the seat of the train and there it was.
Mid 2000’s I lost a wallet riding a roller coaster at Six Flags over Georgia. We knew where it went but it was such an enormous hassle to get it back it was easier to just … cancel multiple credit cards and schedule a trip to the DMV
The year before that, I lost a wallet at a swimming hole in South Knoxville. I was there with my erstwhile coworker “Crazy Dave” to smoke a J and ended up dropping wallet somehow. Some saint found it and called me and I had to get Dave to show me the way back to that location to meet the saint.
November 28, 2025 at 1:40 PM
At Kings Island my wallet came out of my pocket during a ride on The Beast. Only due to wife asking “do you have everything?” as we left did i check in the seat of the train and there it was.
Mid 2000’s I lost a wallet riding a roller coaster at Six Flags over Georgia. We knew where it went but it was such an enormous hassle to get it back it was easier to just … cancel multiple credit cards and schedule a trip to the DMV
The year before that, I lost a wallet at a swimming hole in South Knoxville. I was there with my erstwhile coworker “Crazy Dave” to smoke a J and ended up dropping wallet somehow. Some saint found it and called me and I had to get Dave to show me the way back to that location to meet the saint.
Sept 12, 1997 I lost my watch and wallet in the pit at my third 311 show. Day later I got a call from a college girl who found the wallet. I rushed over there knowing the wallet wouldn’t have any cash and still had a $20 for her as a finder fee. She was too awkward to come down and sent a pal 🫠
November 28, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Mid 2000’s I lost a wallet riding a roller coaster at Six Flags over Georgia. We knew where it went but it was such an enormous hassle to get it back it was easier to just … cancel multiple credit cards and schedule a trip to the DMV
The year before that, I lost a wallet at a swimming hole in South Knoxville. I was there with my erstwhile coworker “Crazy Dave” to smoke a J and ended up dropping wallet somehow. Some saint found it and called me and I had to get Dave to show me the way back to that location to meet the saint.
Sept 12, 1997 I lost my watch and wallet in the pit at my third 311 show. Day later I got a call from a college girl who found the wallet. I rushed over there knowing the wallet wouldn’t have any cash and still had a $20 for her as a finder fee. She was too awkward to come down and sent a pal 🫠
November 28, 2025 at 1:09 PM
The year before that, I lost a wallet at a swimming hole in South Knoxville. I was there with my erstwhile coworker “Crazy Dave” to smoke a J and ended up dropping wallet somehow. Some saint found it and called me and I had to get Dave to show me the way back to that location to meet the saint.
It was post Malone instead. Easy mistake!
Moms in law says Taylor Swift is performing at the cowboys/chiefs game. Seems…implausible
November 28, 2025 at 1:01 PM
It was post Malone instead. Easy mistake!
Reposted by Brett
I like to play things close to the vest, I say to Aunt Melissa as I tuck a drummy in my coat pocket
November 27, 2025 at 10:09 PM
I like to play things close to the vest, I say to Aunt Melissa as I tuck a drummy in my coat pocket
Reposted by Brett
Does anyone else’s family have this remote??? This thing, and the..uhhh errrm…GUI.. is diabolical!! Ami-NO is right!
November 28, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Does anyone else’s family have this remote??? This thing, and the..uhhh errrm…GUI.. is diabolical!! Ami-NO is right!
Does anyone else’s family have this remote??? This thing, and the..uhhh errrm…GUI.. is diabolical!! Ami-NO is right!
November 28, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Does anyone else’s family have this remote??? This thing, and the..uhhh errrm…GUI.. is diabolical!! Ami-NO is right!
The Kristi Noem Memorial Dog Park
November 28, 2025 at 2:21 AM
The Kristi Noem Memorial Dog Park
Don’t get between me and my Kirkland Egg Nog Liqueur-N-Cokes
November 28, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Don’t get between me and my Kirkland Egg Nog Liqueur-N-Cokes
Don’t run out of weed on Thursday
November 28, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Don’t run out of weed on Thursday
people are getting older in new and exciting ways
November 28, 2025 at 1:20 AM
people are getting older in new and exciting ways
Glengarry Bob Ross
“Van Dyke Brown is for winners.”
“Van Dyke Brown is for winners.”
November 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Glengarry Bob Ross
“Van Dyke Brown is for winners.”
“Van Dyke Brown is for winners.”
Tom Brady said “Mano y mano” today
Tony Romo just said the same. If game 3 someone says that, a football supernova will consume us!
Tony Romo just said the same. If game 3 someone says that, a football supernova will consume us!
November 27, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Tom Brady said “Mano y mano” today
Tony Romo just said the same. If game 3 someone says that, a football supernova will consume us!
Tony Romo just said the same. If game 3 someone says that, a football supernova will consume us!
Which is the more iconic “food in your pocket” moment in film: When Napoleon Dynamite put tater tots in his sweatpants pockets, then has them kicked and ruined by a bully…or GI Jane saving the slop food in her fatigues during SEAL training and eating it during the written test for energy?
I like to play things close to the vest, I say to Aunt Melissa as I tuck a drummy in my coat pocket
November 27, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Which is the more iconic “food in your pocket” moment in film: When Napoleon Dynamite put tater tots in his sweatpants pockets, then has them kicked and ruined by a bully…or GI Jane saving the slop food in her fatigues during SEAL training and eating it during the written test for energy?
I like to play things close to the vest, I say to Aunt Melissa as I tuck a drummy in my coat pocket
November 27, 2025 at 10:09 PM
I like to play things close to the vest, I say to Aunt Melissa as I tuck a drummy in my coat pocket
Out in the yard, chucking the ole pigskin, comparing our “burst” and “get-off” like you do
November 27, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Out in the yard, chucking the ole pigskin, comparing our “burst” and “get-off” like you do