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lizzlepants.bsky.social
Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
4.3K followers 900 following 3.6K posts
resident pantologist https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3dg5zlv5v6tbzizwatnunvwu/feed/aaabx33niyxtm
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lizzlepants.bsky.social
Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 9d
It’s the oxytocin we’re all after
put it in a pill and bottle that shit up for everyone
1 17 44
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
thisone0verhere.bsky.social
Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h
You know the Harlem globetrotters have factored into my life as an adult far less frequently than I expected
10 5 180
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
stabke.bsky.social
stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 12h
Sure my dad may have put out a cigarette on my arm but Biggy Smalls put 24 carrots in his babygirl’s ear
2 8 19
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
thisone0verhere.bsky.social
Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 17h
I don’t know much but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero
12 40 500
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
jooliaghoulia.bsky.social
Jooli-AHH! Ghoulia 🎃🍂🔪 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 13h
"What's crappenin', ninjas?!"

- me, right before I realized I was in the wrong meeting
2 20
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
midnightviolets.bsky.social
LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 16h
can’t spell disappointment without men
5 7 30
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
mementomorty.bsky.social
Memento (Spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 14h
I let a fly into my house so my cat can have some enrichment
7 4 85
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
feralgrumpy.bsky.social
Feral Grumpy, 🎃🦝🥔 @feralgrumpy.bsky.social · 2d
This presidency could have been an incarceration.
1 5 7
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
cornjerker78.bsky.social
Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · Aug 13
Sometimes my brain takes things too far
3 38 57
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
batkaren.bsky.social
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1d
“You look good,” she says.

“What, this old thing?” I ask, gesturing to my face.
3 14 57
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
beaveinflow.bsky.social
BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 3d
Being a bibliophile is fun because I get to say things like “I’m reading” when I’m actually dissociating in silence.
10 71 330
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
beaveinflow.bsky.social
BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 2d
If a man is not willing to burn down an entire world for me, I don’t want it.
16 47 160
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
flawdbizkit.bsky.social
mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · Apr 14
grant me the serenity to accept this Monday
1 11 22
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
daisy91.bsky.social
Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 19h
I think if someone tried to kidnap me right now I’d be like ok cool, let’s go. Just don’t put duct tape on my mouth so I can still use my chapstick.
17 47 210
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
juiceticles.bsky.social
Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 12d
This slippery slope could use some lube
1 30 76
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2d
my favorite mythical creature is a satisfied woman
1 9 28
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
midnightviolets.bsky.social
LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 2d
wearing the night like a warning
7 17
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
winemummy.bsky.social
WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 14h
Forget roses, lay me down on a bed of mashed potatoes and gravy.
2 10 24
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
im-all-id.me
andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 3d
When is addiction to outrage being added to the dsm
13 68 320
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
kmillz.lol
(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 19h
heavy is the pinky that holds the phone
5 48 170
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
pausedmortem.bsky.social
Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 2d
Being alive drains all my energy.
7 13
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
titsmcdick.bsky.social
Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 19h
This is not what the 21st century looked like in the brochure.
6 43 130
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
runoldman.bsky.social
Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 1d
Autocorrect automatically adds imaginary when I type "friend."
7 76 200
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 18h
Me: man, when cheese goes bad, it *really* goes bad

Expired Cheddar: I SAID GIMME YOUR WALLET
6 17
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
macnult.com
macnult @macnult.com · 18h
you're gonna kill the vibe just cuz it's a bit cloudy out?
4 4 41
Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️
karimwafa.bsky.social
Karim Wafa-Al Hussaini @karimwafa.bsky.social · 1d
bring back critical thinking.

please and thank you.
7 38 170