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Reposted by Ennui Doofen

weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 1h

Doing the thing at work where I reveal I've been wearing weights this whole time then dropping them to the ground and working even better and faster

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1h

enter sandwichman

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 3h

I used to think “oh jeez cement shoes sound so ugly & uncomfortable.. why would anyone wear those?” Now I understand it’s not quite a matter of choice

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 2h

I’ve seen both sides of the coin or whatever & I don’t want the coin I hate the coin I just wanna make a rainbow with my hose

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 23h

“Aarp” groaned the aging pirate.

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 10h

said the same thing at my last gyn appt

nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 11h

not enough flags and fireworks for my taste

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 11h

not enough flags and fireworks for my taste

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 3h

Forget periods, the most annoying events that sync up are the morning dog walks for the whole neighborhood

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 58m

Perfect, thank you @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social 🩷

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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 1h

If your forgiveness is a little chilly sometimes that's fine but remember you are always at least a snazzy vest 🏆👑 Congratulations @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social from @ennuidoofen.bsky.social

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 13h

i think i want to be one of the other me’s
maybe the one who dealt with her shit in her twenties
or who stayed in touch with her best friend from high school
or the one who became fucking anything at all and never got sick and knew what she had when she had it
can i slip her on like a jacket

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 9h

Aligning frequencies must be a sign that paths are converging, it's pretty obvious right because I don't want to tell my new car it'll know when it meets the ONE and not to confuse it with parking perfectly

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 3h

My favorite romantic films are those videos of big oceanfront properties being swallowed by the Sea in their entirety

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 18h

be your own problematic fav

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 16h

on the choo-choo train like an old-timey cunt

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 15h

how happy we’d all be if this was all the internet was for

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 15h

if I ever draft a personal army I’m going straight for Starbucks employees, those mf’ers seen some shit

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 14h

you aren’t “caked up” you have lead poisoning

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 3h

@shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social 🥹

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 13h

i think i want to be one of the other me’s
maybe the one who dealt with her shit in her twenties
or who stayed in touch with her best friend from high school
or the one who became fucking anything at all and never got sick and knew what she had when she had it
can i slip her on like a jacket