Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

captcha

@dopeshow.bsky.social

2.1K followers 940 following 2K posts

Cigarette butt collector, esquire. Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · Sep 9

One day you'll make your little DIY toilet seat cover with three pieces of tissue paper for the very last time

2 24 50

Reposted by captcha

trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 13h

thousands of tomatoes had to die for your ketchup you bastard

6 25 78

Reposted by captcha

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 12h

Balls are the tits of the taint

9 25 86

Reposted by captcha

Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 22h

I’m like if Spirit Halloween stores were a person

4 59 150

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 12h

"Never ask a panty thief to water your plants"

~ ancient proverb

1 5

Reposted by captcha

Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 3d

In Hell, everyone watches you trying to parallel park.

6 26 94

Reposted by captcha

One Dog’s Opinion 🐾 @onedogsopinion.bsky.social · 14h

filling my weekly pill organizer with hopes and dreams

1 17 66

Reposted by captcha

meliss-AAAH! @mel.bzky.team · 12h

if you ever point out a typo of mine im starting a 10000 year blood war btw

6 3 22

Reposted by captcha

Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 1d

Not everyone gets it. I actually prefer it that way

2 41 66

Reposted by captcha

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16h

I don't know why this two-year-old at the pool said "how dare you" to her dad but I'm on her side

4 15 190

Reposted by captcha

Used Robot Salesman @urs-annex.bsky.social · 16h

just have this sneaky suspicion, that the elevator music in heaven is pretty fucking good.

1 6 15

Reposted by captcha

Fulkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 16h

Always rootin for shit that ain’t gonna happen

3 6

Reposted by captcha

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 15h

i’m suing jd vance for causing my tubes to tie themselves

13 50 280

Reposted by captcha

Pot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 18h

The fact that I have to capitalize Alfredo and Parmesan but not cheddar or mozzarella is why I have trust issues.

6 16 59

Reposted by captcha

Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 19h

excited for when my peach fuzz chin hairs finally become a beard

4 14 36

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 17h

It's Canadian Thanksgiving, the day we traditionally gather to run through the corn maze, eat beaver, and watch Cool Runnings

1 10 27

Reposted by captcha

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 19h

Giving each boob a playful slap once I've crammed it into my bra:

Alright team, let's go to the hardware store.

1 7 19

Reposted by captcha

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 18h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

18 54 230

Reposted by captcha

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 22h

muting people irl with a hammer

6 34 140

Reposted by captcha

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 9d

I'll do anything to stay in shape, other than work out or eat right.

4 20 94

Reposted by captcha

𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 1d

“I shaved for you,” is a great icebreaker on a first date.

120 67 890

Reposted by captcha

Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 1d

No, I’m not calm. I’ve just given up.

6 41 140

Reposted by captcha

Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1d

if it doesn’t rain when you’re sad
that means mother nature doesn’t like you

8 40 120

Reposted by captcha

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 23h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

5 54 150