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Robert Knop

@fatherwithtwins.bsky.social

580 followers 150 following 200 posts

Big fan of my 13yo twin boys and my wife. Level 10 dad jokester.

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Robert Knop @fatherwithtwins.bsky.social · Aug 2

My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old

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Reposted by Robert Knop

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

Arthur just couldn’t quite get used to working from home.

A black and white dog stares at the image of a flock of sheep on a computer monitor.

50 460 3.5K

Reposted by Robert Knop

Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 3d

The creator of the ballerina skirt put tu and tu together.

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Reposted by Robert Knop

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 2d

My daughter has been in the professional world about a year and a half and I was talking to her about how her job is going. She told me she never knew anyone named Brian before and now she knows 8 people named Brian and 2 people named Doug.

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Reposted by Robert Knop

Alice McFlurry @alicemcflurry.bsky.social · 1d

The lady at the DMV asked me to take off my glasses for my photo and I was certain I was finally going to have my She's All That moment where she'd be like "OMG you are so beautiful!" but she didn't say ANYTHING and that's one of many reasons why people don't like government employees.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 3d

“I’m in a sorry state.”

"I thought you called them provinces.“

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 2d

I did the laundry.
One small step for Jen, one giant leap for Jenkind.

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Reposted by Robert Knop

Jennifer Parker @mrsjparker.bsky.social · 2d

Me: Everything hurts and I’m dying.

Also me: These Oreos are helping though.

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Robert Knop @fatherwithtwins.bsky.social · 5d

That day it was Ani DiFranco, Cowboy Junkies, Ben Folds Five and Sarah McLachlan I believe, but that Dido album was solid.

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Robert Knop @fatherwithtwins.bsky.social · 5d

They usually fall asleep 💤

Reposted by Robert Knop

Crockett Houghton @crocketthoughton.bsky.social · 9d

You die on hills, you break your crown on hills- hills are not safe places to visit. Stay home, eat pizza.

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Reposted by Robert Knop

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 7d

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 6d

If I was a urologist I'd tell my patients "urine trouble!" and then they would punch me

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 7d

i quit pumpkin spice i'm on the patch

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 6d

Boss: i have a job for you

Me: no shit, that's why i’m here

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Robert Knop @fatherwithtwins.bsky.social · 6d

Closest GIF i could find…

Penguins Of Madagascar Skipper GIF

ALT: Penguins Of Madagascar Skipper GIF

media.tenor.com

Robert Knop @fatherwithtwins.bsky.social · 6d

a man and a woman are standing next to each other and the woman is saying well tanks for nuttin '

ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other and the woman is saying well tanks for nuttin '

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Robert Knop

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 6d

Me: Is there something I could do differently to improve my sleep?

Doctor: I recommend not looking at your phone for at least an hour before bed.

Me: So nothing then.