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anton

@deranton.bsky.social

1.4K followers 330 following 4.4K posts

Geek of a generational kind Fuzzy navel-lint gazer Midlife crisis actor My crumbs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5wkkbx7wog4bwlyquc7fuity/feed/aaahxlf545dfw

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · Sep 13

Maybe some folks took the sentiment "the more I learn, the less I know" to heart and quit while they were ahead

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 6h

Not quite, but you can find some religion and a little taste of heaven at the opium den just around the corner

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 20h

Marriage is just seeing who can ignore the thing on the floor the longest before one of you finally picks it up.

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 3d

Hugs, except with stabbing

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 22h

Not to brag but people who don’t follow me are perfectly content with their lives

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 13h

sounds complicated. maybe I should just go back to sending emails

anton @deranton.bsky.social · 13h

nonsense nonsense nonsense

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 17h

one of those little pistols that slides out of your shirt sleeve but instead it's an emergency snack hotdog

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1d

so what if I unplugged your life support to charge my phone AITA

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · Aug 3

I can achieve just two styles of eyeliner:
1) Undetectable
2) Murder Clown on their 6th bar in a pub crawl

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 21h

I will not hesitate to wash my whole car with the gas station squeegee.

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 20h

My thought bubble is a question mark.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 5d

You're beautiful when you're angry at that other guy.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 5d

“It’s not a competition”

- losers

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canadian blondii ︎✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 5d

I dont think I’m high maintenance, I just need lots of snacks and constant reassurance

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 1d

the only reason I don't go to bed is because y'all carry on without me 🥺

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 1d

“Pssst, it’s 2 AM, thought I’d let you know.” - Bladder

“Good, you’re awake! Let’s process petty shit right now.” - Brain

“I’ve missed you.” - Insomnia

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 3d

i’m just a human, i fuck your mom just like everyone else. one pump at a time

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Bar Mageddon @barmageddon.bsky.social · 1d

it’s a huge relief that i don’t live near any of you

the excuses i’d make for not meeting up would be so fuckin tedious

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Father Tim @timfather.bsky.social · 1d

(A third throwing axe whistles past my left ear)
Ok, this is getting spooky.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 11d

I'll do anything to stay in shape, other than work out or eat right.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 3d

Liberal men of bluesky - stop going to bars to meet women and start going to Target. The M/F ratio is way better and women are already there looking for things they don’t need but want.