Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
@theloniouscrunk.bsky.social
live every week like it's fat bear week
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
(werner herzog voice) whomst among us is cranking swine
February 8, 2026 at 1:44 PM
(werner herzog voice) whomst among us is cranking swine
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
i forget who made it but it cracks me up lol
February 8, 2026 at 10:54 AM
i forget who made it but it cracks me up lol
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I could slam my thumbs on this stupid phone for 100 years trying to be funny and I’d never come up with something so perfect
January 28, 2026 at 4:03 AM
I could slam my thumbs on this stupid phone for 100 years trying to be funny and I’d never come up with something so perfect
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Death Camp For Cutie over here
February 6, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Death Camp For Cutie over here
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This is Wario Stancil
Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?
February 6, 2026 at 4:42 AM
This is Wario Stancil
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i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit
February 5, 2026 at 3:43 AM
i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this
February 3, 2026 at 4:29 AM
*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this
just found out there are two guys who look Like That
February 2, 2026 at 3:51 PM
just found out there are two guys who look Like That
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If you think we don't need to look at how blockchain is used as an abusive dynamic that denies justice and causes long lasting NIMBYism, you are the proverbial Otherkin idiot 🤎
January 30, 2026 at 2:00 PM
If you think we don't need to look at how blockchain is used as an abusive dynamic that denies justice and causes long lasting NIMBYism, you are the proverbial Otherkin idiot 🤎
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
National outlets reporting that a gull grabbed one of Greg Bovino’s french fries and he was carried off when he refused to let go
January 26, 2026 at 9:20 PM
National outlets reporting that a gull grabbed one of Greg Bovino’s french fries and he was carried off when he refused to let go
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
You used to be able to "inspect element" in this country. You used to be able to download video
January 21, 2026 at 2:57 AM
You used to be able to "inspect element" in this country. You used to be able to download video
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
i just feel like america has no business starting fights with the country that makes ozempic
January 19, 2026 at 8:05 AM
i just feel like america has no business starting fights with the country that makes ozempic
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Guy designing the Nostromo: However many chains you think we need on the ship, double--then triple that number and that's what we'll put in the ship's chain room.
Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course?
Designer: You're fired
Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course?
Designer: You're fired
April 19, 2024 at 7:32 PM
Guy designing the Nostromo: However many chains you think we need on the ship, double--then triple that number and that's what we'll put in the ship's chain room.
Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course?
Designer: You're fired
Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course?
Designer: You're fired
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
oh it's going to be a Recession recession
January 18, 2026 at 10:56 PM
oh it's going to be a Recession recession
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Johannes Gutenberg: I'm on some movable printed type shit
December 22, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Johannes Gutenberg: I'm on some movable printed type shit
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.
January 17, 2026 at 8:33 PM
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Mr Toad: are you a little freak?
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
January 17, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Mr Toad: are you a little freak?
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
I wish the cops would quit coming to my house every day to tell me I'm a person of disinterest and laughing and running away
January 15, 2026 at 5:49 PM
I wish the cops would quit coming to my house every day to tell me I'm a person of disinterest and laughing and running away
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
i went to the self deprecating humour store and nobody knew me there
January 15, 2026 at 4:31 PM
i went to the self deprecating humour store and nobody knew me there
the number of times I have heard the fuckaas media report on Elon's mass twitter firings using some variation on "...but the site's still working, so..."
Been using X/Twitter for 11 years and have never gotten a connection time out like this before. Usually when the site has had issues in the past the UI froze or something like that (in my experience). Must be bad.
January 16, 2026 at 4:07 PM
the number of times I have heard the fuckaas media report on Elon's mass twitter firings using some variation on "...but the site's still working, so..."
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Toad sipped his tea. “Frog,” he asked, “are you making this up?”
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
January 12, 2026 at 3:56 AM
Toad sipped his tea. “Frog,” he asked, “are you making this up?”
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
gotta get this framed
January 16, 2026 at 2:43 AM
gotta get this framed
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Today was my 500th rodeo. I hurt myself terribly. It's dangerous at every experience level.
January 14, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Today was my 500th rodeo. I hurt myself terribly. It's dangerous at every experience level.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
The strongest caffeine I usually have is earl grey tea but I was just given something called a nitro cold brew. Not sure what’s in it, but the godhead speaks through me now, issuing forth demands and evocations alike in a voice that does not sound like mine own.
March 10, 2024 at 2:58 PM
The strongest caffeine I usually have is earl grey tea but I was just given something called a nitro cold brew. Not sure what’s in it, but the godhead speaks through me now, issuing forth demands and evocations alike in a voice that does not sound like mine own.