E.D.D.I.E.z
@improbableeddie.bsky.social
Downlogging. . .
textual: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qtyqm3chl3yxdt6lvhdnsba7/feed/aaad42d6ykews
textual: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qtyqm3chl3yxdt6lvhdnsba7/feed/aaad42d6ykews
How many politicians does it take to make a change?
None, they just sit in the dark ages and argue
None, they just sit in the dark ages and argue
November 17, 2025 at 1:24 PM
How many politicians does it take to make a change?
None, they just sit in the dark ages and argue
None, they just sit in the dark ages and argue
earth decides to tilt its ass into deep space and i have to spend the next six months freezing mine off
November 16, 2025 at 7:55 PM
earth decides to tilt its ass into deep space and i have to spend the next six months freezing mine off
woke up thinking i was being hacked by aliens or something but it turns out i’m just hungry and was having a midnight mac attack
November 16, 2025 at 2:04 AM
woke up thinking i was being hacked by aliens or something but it turns out i’m just hungry and was having a midnight mac attack
tried to get with the program but was out to launch
November 15, 2025 at 3:28 PM
tried to get with the program but was out to launch
the current government couldn't organise a u-turn in a culdesac without thinking of the neat idea in the first place
November 14, 2025 at 10:36 AM
the current government couldn't organise a u-turn in a culdesac without thinking of the neat idea in the first place
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
if you would, just put me back where you found me when you’re done, thanks
October 15, 2025 at 6:21 AM
if you would, just put me back where you found me when you’re done, thanks
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE, I WANT TO.
November 11, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE, I WANT TO.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
I took acid and sleeping pills at the same time and all I got were the thousands upon thousands of copies of this dumb t-shirt I designed and printed during the experience
September 17, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I took acid and sleeping pills at the same time and all I got were the thousands upon thousands of copies of this dumb t-shirt I designed and printed during the experience
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Sorry, I wasn't fully listening. The tiny whales that live in my stomach were singing again.
November 11, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Sorry, I wasn't fully listening. The tiny whales that live in my stomach were singing again.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Reply or quote with a punchline:
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It empties too quickly and makes many people sad."
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It empties too quickly and makes many people sad."
Reply or quote with a punchline:
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It _________________"
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It _________________"
November 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Reply or quote with a punchline:
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It empties too quickly and makes many people sad."
"Yeah, I've got a dick like a Pringles can. It empties too quickly and makes many people sad."
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
History certainly repeats itself, usually whispering some variant of “put them all to the sword.”
September 26, 2025 at 2:16 AM
History certainly repeats itself, usually whispering some variant of “put them all to the sword.”
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
You too can try Dubai chocolate for around $10 for 3 servings or save money instead by buying a Cadbury bar and adding sand.
August 17, 2025 at 3:40 PM
You too can try Dubai chocolate for around $10 for 3 servings or save money instead by buying a Cadbury bar and adding sand.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Leaving a paper trail is the best cover your ass thing you can do
This is why I flick my cigarettes out the window
This is why I flick my cigarettes out the window
November 7, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Leaving a paper trail is the best cover your ass thing you can do
This is why I flick my cigarettes out the window
This is why I flick my cigarettes out the window
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
November 7, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
If you won $10 for second place in beauty contest.. you might be a redneck.
November 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
If you won $10 for second place in beauty contest.. you might be a redneck.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
when i flex my biceps i will welcome you to the gun show because water pistols are guns too
November 12, 2025 at 1:12 AM
when i flex my biceps i will welcome you to the gun show because water pistols are guns too
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
You aren't really forty until you catch yourself vibing at the spaghetti aisle in the supermarket
February 26, 2025 at 5:51 PM
You aren't really forty until you catch yourself vibing at the spaghetti aisle in the supermarket
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
- Are you suuure there's nothing to eat?
-One moment, let me check my bra
-One moment, let me check my bra
April 3, 2025 at 7:19 AM
- Are you suuure there's nothing to eat?
-One moment, let me check my bra
-One moment, let me check my bra
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
I'm not in debt, I belong to a cult that believes in the circulation of money
April 26, 2025 at 10:14 AM
I'm not in debt, I belong to a cult that believes in the circulation of money
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places
July 26, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
My mind is free, but my body is $50 an hour.
October 9, 2025 at 5:25 AM
My mind is free, but my body is $50 an hour.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
Eighteen fishing vessels have been damaged or sunk by killer whales off the coast of Spain in the last three years.
I think these attacks are orcastrated.
Or is that when you cut the balls off a dolphin?
I think these attacks are orcastrated.
Or is that when you cut the balls off a dolphin?
November 7, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Eighteen fishing vessels have been damaged or sunk by killer whales off the coast of Spain in the last three years.
I think these attacks are orcastrated.
Or is that when you cut the balls off a dolphin?
I think these attacks are orcastrated.
Or is that when you cut the balls off a dolphin?
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
I don't do dishes. I do men who do dishes.
May 9, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I don't do dishes. I do men who do dishes.
Reposted by E.D.D.I.E.z
The military is now required to receive quarterly spray on bronzer to demonstrate their patriotism
September 30, 2025 at 10:38 PM
The military is now required to receive quarterly spray on bronzer to demonstrate their patriotism