Wolfe Van Mural
@guytheguy.bsky.social
Keep it on & poppin
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
trying this new thing where i'm vivacious
November 27, 2025 at 4:16 AM
trying this new thing where i'm vivacious
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
bringing over a jar of those frog things Jabba eats
November 27, 2025 at 3:51 PM
bringing over a jar of those frog things Jabba eats
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
we’re all in the same gravy boat
November 27, 2025 at 5:46 AM
we’re all in the same gravy boat
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Youre telling me a devil fucked this egg?
November 27, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Youre telling me a devil fucked this egg?
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
"This reminds me of your dad"
-Your mom, with her fist inside the turkey
-Your mom, with her fist inside the turkey
November 27, 2025 at 3:57 PM
"This reminds me of your dad"
-Your mom, with her fist inside the turkey
-Your mom, with her fist inside the turkey
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
So much to rant about... so little time....
November 27, 2025 at 1:09 PM
So much to rant about... so little time....
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
however you celebrate this year remember: do not drop your phone in the toilet
November 27, 2025 at 2:31 PM
however you celebrate this year remember: do not drop your phone in the toilet
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
November 7, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
colonizing your dad’s favorite chair in honor of the holiday
November 27, 2025 at 4:32 PM
colonizing your dad’s favorite chair in honor of the holiday
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
November 26, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
they should make a hug you can buy from someone who really means it
November 24, 2025 at 3:09 AM
they should make a hug you can buy from someone who really means it
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
My favorite thing to do when it's cold outside . . . is not to go outside.
November 24, 2025 at 1:08 PM
My favorite thing to do when it's cold outside . . . is not to go outside.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Don't be fooled by my Bluesky badassery. I'm probably just a guy named Todd in real life
November 24, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Don't be fooled by my Bluesky badassery. I'm probably just a guy named Todd in real life
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I prefer solitude too much to compromise with the world.
November 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
I prefer solitude too much to compromise with the world.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I've been married long enough to know that healthy communication is only for divorced people.
November 25, 2025 at 11:08 AM
I've been married long enough to know that healthy communication is only for divorced people.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I am a dripping faucet and you are my thimble.
November 25, 2025 at 12:41 PM
I am a dripping faucet and you are my thimble.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Research indicates there is more brain activity in a dead hooker than there is in stupid people.
November 25, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Research indicates there is more brain activity in a dead hooker than there is in stupid people.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
It's the great ballsack Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 2:10 PM
It's the great ballsack Charlie Brown
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. *gets a lobotomy*
November 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. *gets a lobotomy*
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Skip the bullshit.
Inject your turkey with Heroin
Inject your turkey with Heroin
November 26, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Skip the bullshit.
Inject your turkey with Heroin
Inject your turkey with Heroin
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.