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I've got a dad back

@dadback.bsky.social

530 followers 390 following 1.4K posts

It's just jokes https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vukmt5ibip7vl3a3ll4d37hb/feed/aaakqjbhan7bm

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 14d

I need my life to be more fairy tale, less cautionary tale

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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 1h

Optimist: The glass is half full

Pessimist: The glass is half empty

Optometrist: Your glasses are ready

Pesstomestrist: Your glasses aren't covered by insurance

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 1h

The Gilmore Girls, horrificly, imply the existence of The Lungless Boys

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 10h

[abruptly stops my nunchuck routine] I do.

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Rick Caruso’s Private Fire Crew @amandasmith.bsky.social · Nov 20

Please don’t mistake declarative statements for expertise, I’m just medically incapable of speaking without unfounded confidence.

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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 1d

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 3h

Congrats!

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john granule @bogbird.bsky.social · 19h

horny guy: show me breasts
sex ai: (image of a pair of breasts with 11 fingers)

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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 14h

I eat at restaurants with obnoxious Yelp reviews cuz the people who wrote the reviews will never be there again.

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Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 14h

Me: but god where were you when there was only one set of footprints in the sand?

God: Oh that. That's when I left to play some beach volleyball and show off my sick moves

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 21h

"what are you gonna be for halloween" a problem

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve been in front of the computer too long. Time to take a break and look at my phone.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 21h

Snoop: I get high when I smoke that's the point

Me: Ha ha ok but seriously you can't use olive oil for this

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Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · 8d

Judge: you’re here because you booped the cop on the nose

Me: your honor, may I approach the bench?

Judge covering his nose: absolutely not

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the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 21h

Probably the worst thing by far about this presidency is that I have to spend time posting about the daily horrors rather than making dumb jokes about grimace

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Miss Riss @missriss.bsky.social · 22h

Not many people realize they called it the PS5 because pspspspsps didn't fit on the box

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ghost crab @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 4d

actually i lied and this is my first rodeo

are those cows?

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 21h

Trained on 10,000 letters from Playboy and Penthouse

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 1d

how to read Irish words:

check each of the letters, sound them out to form syllables

blend the sounds together

finish by saying something else entirely

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 1d

Its not great!

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 1d

Two weeks until the clocks go back. Never liked them anyway.

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Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 1d

The barista when I was getting my coffee: I’ll be right with you

Me: no worries

Narrator: there were many worries

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 1d

I had the same question, but he did put the link right there

"The goal of the clandestine reburial was to hide evidence of atrocities as Bashar Assad tried to regain international standing."

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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 1d

I really just once a reporter would reply “oh are you gonna cry about it”

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Trump: "I don't take questions from ABC fake news after what you did with Stephanopoulos to the vice president of the United States."

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avery @pucksarcana.bsky.social · 1d

ground floor ? ummm it’s called gravel bro

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 1d

Based on the article, I feel like residents wouldn't be so pissed about data centers if the centers paid for the electricity and infrastructure costs they incur, which seems fair to me