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Paul

@grommit56.bsky.social

2.8K followers 1.3K following 1.7K posts

Marriage, my dogs, golf, work, general stupidity. Blue is much more soothing than red. For mediocrity, press the link below bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cwzjygusjn5xjsu47dtcp2tl/feed/aaacbkeptqwsw

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · Aug 18

Get in loser. We're gonna take a nap.

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 2d

I keep saying “blow me hard” instead of “boulevard” and my coworkers have had about enough of my bullshit for one day

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 1d

We just keep letting Jared Leto happen for some reason.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 1d

“Someone you don’t know did something you don’t care about.” -social media notifications

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 6h

Heading to Disney World in December. Kinda wondering if they sell audio animatronic tomatoes I can take to the Hall of Presidents.

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 9h

I should look at the website and see if they rent scooters. It would need to be an off road type though. 😆

Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 10h

Yeah. That got an audible "holy shit" from me. Pretty rare.

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Jen @brokemycoccyx.bsky.social · 11h

I’m ready to go home now…

…that’s not something I often say while traveling.

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 10h

Try living up here. 😆

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 10h

Well, even if they don't pull this out, Flacco is definitely an improvement over Browning.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 10h

There’s more Botox in the Trump cabinet than in a dented can of beans.

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 11h

My teenager is once again demanding that I make soup. I didn’t know that 15 year olds needed so many soups

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3d

*during sex

Sorry, I forgot to mention that I’m gross.

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 1d

Make sure to talk to your kids about existential dread

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 2d

*moments after finishing an entire Costco sheet cake

I am feeling very, very sexual.

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 12h

Since when did tackling become throwing your body at a guy and hoping he falls down?

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 4d

Gives you a hug and whispers kiss my ass.

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Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 4d

in an alternate universe a nine volt battery is licking me

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 13h

In a love triangle between dehydration and clenching my jaw.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 3d

What’s wrong with people who actually reach out after you said “feel free to reach out if you need anything”?

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 2d

I don’t even remember how to do mastodon ffs
toots? c’mon… fuckin servers and shit jfc I don’t wanna go through all this again
WHERE IS 2012 TWITTER can’t we just go there?
fuck