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Dominic Caruso

@dominiccaruso1.bsky.social

4.7K followers 1.7K following 1.1K posts

I was a snowball in hell. [he/his]

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · Sep 17

We should flip a pancake directly into space

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 2h

Get stuffed [seasonal]

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 13h

Trying to chase down my cat to clip her toenails but she keeps performing evasive barrel rolls and deploying countermeasures

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 1d

(pointing at self) seize him

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 2h

Can’t ever remember proper table etiquette, which fork is for circus peanuts

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 4h

i've discovered several cave paintings in my 300 square foot studio apartment

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 21h

Watched Nosferatu last night. Spoiler: that guy is bad news!

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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 17h

I rarely use the character limit on here. I like to leave space for the academics’ footnotes

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 21h

As the enraged chef pelted me with partially cooked waffles, I realized that my friends don’t come to me for wisdom or advice, but for fragmentary stories in which I describe waking from a mysterious unconsciousness in the back of a speedboat being driven by the electrical impulses of a mushroom.

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Michael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 1d

SUNDAY MORNING BLANKET STAGES

Cocooning
Silly-billy
Sexy pile
Rag Pile
Pestilent
Gritty
Afire

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RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 1d

Thinking today of the Headless Horseman, who must be so frustrated by people dwelling on what he lacks at the expense of all the many things he has.

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Naomi Elizabeth @naomielizabeth.bsky.social · 1d

I can’t hear my buddy screaming, he must be in space

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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 1d

If I was a plumber I would change my name to Plunge-o and have a plastic surgeon turn my whole head plunger shaped

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1d

if it doesn’t rain when you’re sad
that means mother nature doesn’t like you

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amberkitty 🐈‍⬛ @amberkitty.bsky.social · 1d

Does anyone know where that beeping is coming from

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 3d

i've never been inconvenienced before and i hope i never will be. it sounds terrible

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Fungocrat @fungocrat.bsky.social · 2d

I respect my dog. But I don't respect her beliefs.

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J🔥HELL🔥P @jlp.systems · 2d

They’re coming out with a broken clock that’s right three times a day

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more mr. dice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 1d

pilgrim guy finishes reading a big book, leans way back in his chair and loosens the belt on his hat

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 2d

a cartoon of a caveman standing in front of a building with a sign that says office .

Alt: GIF taken from the opening scene of the cartoon The Flintstones in which Fred Flintstone is working in the quarry & the foreman sounds the whistle (a bird) at quitting time.

media.tenor.com

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Nurbsy @nurbsy.bsky.social · 2d

Smurfs real. I can’t talk more right now but smurfs are real

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 2d

My relationship with my cat is 35% friendship/affection, 60% indifference/precarious truce, and 5% guerilla warfare

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jj skolnik @modernistwitch.myatproto.social · 2d

the correct response to scaremongering about trans kids in sports is:
1) kids should be able to play sports with their friends
2) you want the government inspecting yr kid’s genitals? asking for chromosome and hormone tests? seems messed up!
3) sports governing bodies also already figured this out

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

We've profiled you based on your actual profile and it reads disconnectedly as an erotic thriller of the highest intelligence, I might add hilarious. If you ever commit a crime I'll be the first to put red herring in bio, let's alt away together

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 2d

Carefully cataloging, recording, & writing detailed process documents describing how to recreate the repertoire of noises I have made during staff meetings to safeguard & distribute this valuable institutional knowledge across the organization.

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