Groceries
crisiscake.bsky.social
Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
4.6K followers 380 following 710 posts
no thank you
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so when i chew carrots & celery it's good for teeth but when I chew ice & sticks it's bad? grow up
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too big to fail speedrun
BREAKING: OpenAI is requesting US government support to help guarantee financing for the massive investments in AI chips and data centers it needs for expansion, per Bloomberg.
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[my grandpa in his 40s] i am so proud of what ive accomplished in my life

[me in my 40s] oh wow funerals cost a lot i should take up ditch digging
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Cool photo I took a few seconds after waking up when Joe Camel hit me with his car
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Spirit Halloween Hiring Manager:

And where do you see yourself in five days
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My five year plan? Probably just to say, “I’m really not feeling it today,” 1,825 times.
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Never let the printer see that you’re in a hurry. Just act natural; it can smell fear.
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When I get a paper cut, I accept it as a small measure of justice for the tree.
entirely reformatting text and redacting the author's name immediately under the heading "gives users control" is outstanding work, they have gall if(/and?) nothing else
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I hope the people who dig up our civilization take our satirical texts at face value like, “well it seems outlandish but it’s a contemporaneous account so it must be true”
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be the brick that drowns me
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You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.
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Look your honor it's just not viable for us to continue as a business unless there is a clear likelihood of confusion between us and Open AI
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Has anyone started a company called openai 2 yet using their theory of intellectual property
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Gonna go lie under a tree and hope the falling leave smother me
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remember, if you find a mysterious glowing liquid in the forest, drink it all
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can the government give me billions of dollars too. i’m dumb and can make shit up better than a computer
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i can drink a capri sun in less than 5 seconds
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Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
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MrBeast hates Zohran because if people have access to basic necessities, it will demolish the Giving People Those Necessities As Part Of A Saw-Inspired Game Show industry
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There are actually very few movies you “couldn’t make today because of woke.”

But there are a hell of a lot of movies that you couldn’t make today because of anti-woke.
It’s hard to believe but there was a cartoon about an immigrant mouse and it was seen as totally fine and not controversial and not woke because it was an aspirational and nice thing about America that people could come here and find a better life
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Sun Tzu, a vein in his forehead bulging and his left eye twitching "my lord, your soldiers will still require food and water no matter how loyal they are"
At the very bottom of the US Army’s “Shutdown Guidance” for troops in Bavaria, there was a “Running list of German support organizations for your kit bags” including various local food banks. @evystadium.bsky.social has more.

Full story by @mjgault.bsky.social here:
www.404media.co/army-tells-s...