The Onion
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The Onion
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1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers | Encircled
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Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes
https://theonion.com/images-of-national-parks-replaced-with-trumps-face-on-annual-passes/
https://theonion.com/images-of-national-parks-replaced-with-trumps-face-on-annual-passes/
December 30, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes
https://theonion.com/images-of-national-parks-replaced-with-trumps-face-on-annual-passes/
https://theonion.com/images-of-national-parks-replaced-with-trumps-face-on-annual-passes/
Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad
December 30, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad
U.S. Becomes First Country To Recognize Mega-Israel https://theonion.com/u-s-becomes-first-country-to-recognize-mega-israel/
December 30, 2025 at 5:15 PM
U.S. Becomes First Country To Recognize Mega-Israel https://theonion.com/u-s-becomes-first-country-to-recognize-mega-israel/
Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam https://theonion.com/trump-rushed-to-walter-reed-to-watch-breast-exam/
December 30, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam https://theonion.com/trump-rushed-to-walter-reed-to-watch-breast-exam/
Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies https://theonion.com/bachelorette-party-bankrupts-4-of-brides-fave-girlies/
December 30, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies https://theonion.com/bachelorette-party-bankrupts-4-of-brides-fave-girlies/
Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up https://theonion.com/australia-admits-all-those-animals-made-up/
December 30, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up https://theonion.com/australia-admits-all-those-animals-made-up/
Something Forbidden Stirs Deep Within Trump After He Sees Political Cartoon Depicting Him As Chicken https://theonion.com/something-forbidden-stirs-deep-within-trump-after-he-sees-political-cartoon-depicting-him-as-chicken/
December 30, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Something Forbidden Stirs Deep Within Trump After He Sees Political Cartoon Depicting Him As Chicken https://theonion.com/something-forbidden-stirs-deep-within-trump-after-he-sees-political-cartoon-depicting-him-as-chicken/
Congress Passes Law Banning Women From Leaving House Without Makeup https://theonion.com/congress-passes-law-banning-women-from-leaving-house-without-makeup/
December 30, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Congress Passes Law Banning Women From Leaving House Without Makeup https://theonion.com/congress-passes-law-banning-women-from-leaving-house-without-makeup/
Wedding Vows A Damning Chronicle Of How Much Bride Changed Herself For Groom https://theonion.com/wedding-vows-a-damning-chronicle-of-how-much-bride-changed-herself-for-groom/
December 30, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Wedding Vows A Damning Chronicle Of How Much Bride Changed Herself For Groom https://theonion.com/wedding-vows-a-damning-chronicle-of-how-much-bride-changed-herself-for-groom/
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
December 30, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off https://theonion.com/white-house-evacuated-after-trans-alarm-goes-off/
December 30, 2025 at 12:00 AM
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off https://theonion.com/white-house-evacuated-after-trans-alarm-goes-off/
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December 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
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Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia https://theonion.com/trump-urges-supporters-to-move-on-from-societal-disdain-for-pedophilia/
December 29, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia https://theonion.com/trump-urges-supporters-to-move-on-from-societal-disdain-for-pedophilia/
DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website https://theonion.com/doj-removes-all-mentions-of-justice-from-website/
December 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM
DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website https://theonion.com/doj-removes-all-mentions-of-justice-from-website/
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
December 29, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map https://theonion.com/mta-admits-to-fabricating-large-parts-of-subway-map/
December 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map https://theonion.com/mta-admits-to-fabricating-large-parts-of-subway-map/
Ted Cruz: ‘Vacationing Is How I Grieve’
December 29, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Ted Cruz: ‘Vacationing Is How I Grieve’
Dad Carrying 2-Person Inner Tube Up Waterslide Steps Like Christ Bearing Cross
December 29, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Dad Carrying 2-Person Inner Tube Up Waterslide Steps Like Christ Bearing Cross
Report: Average American’s Retirement Plan Involves Richard Gere Falling For Them After Paying For Sex https://theonion.com/report-average-americans-retirement-plan-involves-richard-gere-falling-for-them-after-paying-for-sex/
December 29, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Report: Average American’s Retirement Plan Involves Richard Gere Falling For Them After Paying For Sex https://theonion.com/report-average-americans-retirement-plan-involves-richard-gere-falling-for-them-after-paying-for-sex/
Kristi Noem Appears With Bandage Over Ear Struck By Words
December 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Kristi Noem Appears With Bandage Over Ear Struck By Words
Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started
December 29, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started
Mice Nature's Disposable Animals - Horrifying Planet
December 29, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Mice Nature's Disposable Animals - Horrifying Planet
CDC Publishes Female Body Hair Guidelines https://theonion.com/cdc-publishes-female-body-hair-guidelines/
December 29, 2025 at 5:15 PM
CDC Publishes Female Body Hair Guidelines https://theonion.com/cdc-publishes-female-body-hair-guidelines/
Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing https://theonion.com/protesters-urged-not-to-give-trump-administration-pretext-for-what-it-already-doing/
December 29, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing https://theonion.com/protesters-urged-not-to-give-trump-administration-pretext-for-what-it-already-doing/
Trump Issues Executive Order Reversing All Vasectomies https://theonion.com/trump-issues-executive-order-reversing-all-vasectomies/
December 29, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Trump Issues Executive Order Reversing All Vasectomies https://theonion.com/trump-issues-executive-order-reversing-all-vasectomies/