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Chestbursty

@chestrovert.bsky.social

8.7K followers 790 following 5.4K posts

1. Be excellent to each other 2. Party on dudes My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g My Worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaaawyfc7givy

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · Apr 5

"Your laugh is like a sunset," I say right before I nail gun my hand to the frame of a revolving door

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Tammi, yeah, that one. 2.1 @tammi.bsky.social · 10h

I found a 19th century Cat Villain!

A huge chonk of a fluffy cat sitting on a table near an open fire. The cat is cream and grey and appears to be shaped like a barrel in a fur coat. They are scowling fiercely with their moustache and bewhiskered ears apparently flowing back into the cold wind. There's a definite vibe that this villainous cat twirls their moustache as they evict orphans into the aforementioned blizzard and think Scrooge was an easy-going lightweight. They are magnificent.

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 1d

You don't know me but I'm the sole heir to the wingding font fortune

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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 6h

it's hard to accept that we're doing the best we can and everything still sucks

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Joezilla @joezillaz.bsky.social · 8h

Black and white stairs.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 12h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 11h

I just enjoyed a medicinal baked potato for enhanced psychiatric support*

*my brain is being garbage and I ate a potato about it

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · Mar 5

I think about manhole covers sometimes, how they humbly go about their business covering holes that a man might go into

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Lord Juiblex @lordjuiblex.bsky.social · 1d

You get leprosy from having sex with a leopard. I will not be taking any questions at this time.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 14h

'Farmer tans' and 'red necks' are commonly understood but this tan line from wearing a watch has no folksy moniker?

It's just another disappointment.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 14h

Just weeks into fall and I'm already so pale you can see my heart beating.

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spookillumi @illumi.meme · 14h

we are the children of the corn you couldn’t cob

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d

WILL BATTEN DOWN YOUR HATCHES FOR SOUP

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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · Dec 11

The real irony is that Bill Nye wanted to be the drummer but they already had a drummer and the old science guy had just quit so he figured what the hell, but Bill still got them rhythms, you know?

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 14h

i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming

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Alice McFlurry @alicemcflurry.bsky.social · 14h

They call me old fashioned because I'm kind of bitter, a little bit sweet, and full of bourbon.

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BaltimoreOctopus @baltimoreoctopus.bsky.social · 15h

First you smorg it, then you bord it.

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 15h

I would never name my uncle "Fester"

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Carly @nautiluscarly.bsky.social · 15h

Sassy Haru

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Les 💫 @lesdoncorleone.bsky.social · 1d

As a general rule, besides The Lone Ranger, the good guys don’t wear masks

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 18h

Just made a lot of minestrone, a maxestrone in fact.

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Chris and his farmily of forever friends @caenhillcc.bsky.social · 19h

Our baby donkey Letty-Lou enjoying Sunday morning toast

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 2d

me: kierkegaard said the most painful state of being is remembering a future you'll never have

unaging sea witch holding me captive in her stony crag amidst the surging tide: you gonna finish that seagull?

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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 1d

As I have often said. "Ow, my back."

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 1d

It's kinda cool that I've settled into my Alfie Solomons role in my local pub because the little wannabe Tommy Shelby's only come to me when they want honest feedback and welcome my long rambling advice even if it's not comfortable for them

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ashley scarebanks 💀🕯️ @ziibiing.com · 1d

the mercedes vision v is the first car that looks like future i imagined when i was a kid

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