Reposted by Goose
My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu
February 2, 2025 at 5:32 PM
My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu
Reposted by Goose
the theater is screening DOS Boot
January 31, 2026 at 1:44 PM
the theater is screening DOS Boot
Reposted by Goose
seems like there’s got to be a better way to let them know
February 1, 2026 at 2:27 AM
seems like there’s got to be a better way to let them know
Reposted by Goose
I love Billie Eilish even though she dresses like Ali G.
February 1, 2026 at 10:39 AM
I love Billie Eilish even though she dresses like Ali G.
Reposted by Goose
*looks around nervously*
and these housewives... are they real or desperate?
and these housewives... are they real or desperate?
February 1, 2026 at 1:42 AM
*looks around nervously*
and these housewives... are they real or desperate?
and these housewives... are they real or desperate?
Reposted by Goose
I plan to become increasingly normal eventually
January 31, 2026 at 3:27 AM
I plan to become increasingly normal eventually
Reposted by Goose
can i borrow like $12 real quick
January 31, 2026 at 1:46 AM
can i borrow like $12 real quick
Reposted by Goose
He is risen
January 31, 2026 at 1:50 AM
He is risen
Reposted by Goose
i gotta stop procrastinating. ok, that’s it. starting tomorrow
January 30, 2026 at 6:35 AM
i gotta stop procrastinating. ok, that’s it. starting tomorrow
Reposted by Goose
Can't believe I'm going through life as a weird little sack of various juices
September 7, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Can't believe I'm going through life as a weird little sack of various juices
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
me: *winking* want to fool around?
wife: sure I guess, why not
me: *filling a paper bag with dog poop* awesome! put this on next door’s porch, set it on fire, then ring the doorbell and run away
wife: I want a divorce
wife: sure I guess, why not
me: *filling a paper bag with dog poop* awesome! put this on next door’s porch, set it on fire, then ring the doorbell and run away
wife: I want a divorce
June 2, 2025 at 11:43 AM
me: *winking* want to fool around?
wife: sure I guess, why not
me: *filling a paper bag with dog poop* awesome! put this on next door’s porch, set it on fire, then ring the doorbell and run away
wife: I want a divorce
wife: sure I guess, why not
me: *filling a paper bag with dog poop* awesome! put this on next door’s porch, set it on fire, then ring the doorbell and run away
wife: I want a divorce
Reposted by Goose
When your dog decides he's no longer going to hide his lifestyle.
January 7, 2025 at 9:57 AM
When your dog decides he's no longer going to hide his lifestyle.
Reposted by Goose
Early to bed and early to rise gives a bro time to game with the guys
January 29, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Early to bed and early to rise gives a bro time to game with the guys
Reposted by Goose
2025 recapped
December 29, 2025 at 5:46 PM
2025 recapped
Reposted by Goose
🎶
I heard that you were talking shit
You didn't think I'd hear it
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Few times I've been around that track
It's not just gonna happen like that
Because, guess what, I ain't no hollaback girl
Hollaback Girl, Hollaback Girl
I heard that you were talking shit
You didn't think I'd hear it
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Few times I've been around that track
It's not just gonna happen like that
Because, guess what, I ain't no hollaback girl
Hollaback Girl, Hollaback Girl
January 28, 2026 at 8:58 PM
🎶
I heard that you were talking shit
You didn't think I'd hear it
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Few times I've been around that track
It's not just gonna happen like that
Because, guess what, I ain't no hollaback girl
Hollaback Girl, Hollaback Girl
I heard that you were talking shit
You didn't think I'd hear it
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Few times I've been around that track
It's not just gonna happen like that
Because, guess what, I ain't no hollaback girl
Hollaback Girl, Hollaback Girl
Reposted by Goose
reviews of the new Charlie XCX mockumentary THE MOMENT are predictably polarized - ranging from "I don't care" to "I love it"
January 28, 2026 at 6:02 PM
reviews of the new Charlie XCX mockumentary THE MOMENT are predictably polarized - ranging from "I don't care" to "I love it"
Reposted by Goose
"Thank you for calling The Void. Your scream is very important to The Void but right now it's overwhelmed. If you could please leave your scream at the beep The Void will accept it as soon as possible. Thank you. "
January 8, 2026 at 6:12 AM
"Thank you for calling The Void. Your scream is very important to The Void but right now it's overwhelmed. If you could please leave your scream at the beep The Void will accept it as soon as possible. Thank you. "
Reposted by Goose
Anything is possible if you sleep with the right people.
June 24, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Anything is possible if you sleep with the right people.
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
I tried a haiku
But they are elusive and
near impossible.
But they are elusive and
near impossible.
April 13, 2024 at 12:39 PM
I tried a haiku
But they are elusive and
near impossible.
But they are elusive and
near impossible.
Reposted by Goose
*caught sniffing a stranger’s butt like a dog* Oh sorry about that. You know there’s an Adderall shortage right now. Pretty bad one.
March 13, 2024 at 12:17 AM
*caught sniffing a stranger’s butt like a dog* Oh sorry about that. You know there’s an Adderall shortage right now. Pretty bad one.
Reposted by Goose
you never know when that “jerk” you meet today might be someone struggling with a battle you know nothing about. like how to drive a hummer up a princess tower. just because they’re not jerks doesn’t mean they’re not, you know, slow
January 20, 2026 at 12:48 PM
you never know when that “jerk” you meet today might be someone struggling with a battle you know nothing about. like how to drive a hummer up a princess tower. just because they’re not jerks doesn’t mean they’re not, you know, slow
Reposted by Goose
