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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 55m

Good morning! Today I get more lasers in my eyes to save what little eyesight I have left. This will be my fourth round of lasers and I have not developed superpowers yet. It's getting a little infuriating.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 10h

Remember Matt's Millions? CBBC drama that I think ran for four episodes in 1996. He got a cheque for £1,227,309.87.

Why do I have that seared onto my brain, Sooz? Why??

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Reposted by Friz(ombie!)

Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 20h

Only a handful of tickets left for this! (I'm pretty confident I can hold 38 tickets in one hand). Use code BIGKNEE at checkout to get 25% off.

Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 7d

I DO THIS UNDER DURESS.

My last three Nottingham Comedy Festival shows have been sell-outs because people buy tickets on the day. My venue keeps moaning "eurgh, you've only sold five tickets". If you are coming, buy a ticket.

www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 12h

Oh, are they doing a special outside episode of Only Connect? Was the weather nice or som- what the fuck, why are they allowed 11 members of their teams? This hardly seems fair.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 19h

Never change, Threads

Reply from dvldog6868: So, you think being trans is funny. It’s some kind of joke to you.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 19h

TBF the tickets are all digital so I could technically hold a billion in one hand.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 20h

Only a handful of tickets left for this! (I'm pretty confident I can hold 38 tickets in one hand). Use code BIGKNEE at checkout to get 25% off.

Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 7d

I DO THIS UNDER DURESS.

My last three Nottingham Comedy Festival shows have been sell-outs because people buy tickets on the day. My venue keeps moaning "eurgh, you've only sold five tickets". If you are coming, buy a ticket.

www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 21h

"The costumes look the same as the film versions!" Well, yes. The costume designer of the original films hasn't publicly talked about trans people. JK will not rest until there is a 100% compliance with her views. That's why there's a TV version AND an audio version coming out. Hedging her bets.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 21h

If the new Harry Potter series is taking the next seven years to film it would be really really funny if one of the actors realised they were trans and JK had to start AAAALLLLL OVER AGAIN.

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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 22h

I found a hidden jar of Nutella in my house. I'm not saying anything because I'm not sure my if wife is hiding it from the kids or if the kids are hiding it from her.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 1d

Me on the apps

Iceland bag with the slogan: I'm a BIG bag and hold up to 14 boxes of pizza

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 1d

There's a joke about him on The Simpsons from a 1994 episode. 1994!!

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onion person @junlper.beer · 1d

dying at rightwingers falling for what looks like an ai generated turning points USA half time show with special guest “measles”

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 1d

This sketch from SNL last night delighted me, purely for the sheer momentum it goes in.

Experienced Lawyers - SNL

YouTube video by Saturday Night Live

youtu.be

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 1d

Me on the apps

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 1d

I heard a prison cell became vacant yesterday so

Eliot Higgins @eliothiggins.bsky.social · 1d

Prince Andrew told Jeffrey Epstein ‘we’re in this together’ in 2011 email www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Prince Andrew told Jeffrey Epstein ‘we’re in this together’ in 2011 email

Royal sent email after Virginia Giuffre photo emerged but later claimed he had ceased contact with Epstein in 2010

www.theguardian.com

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Zoe Thorne @zoethorne.bsky.social · 1d

I just leaned over the bath to turn the taps on, not realising that it was set to the shower head instead, and got a load of ice cold water right on my head and down my back. Let me tell you, the noise I made would have been the one they'd pick to go right at the beginning of the Taskmaster theme.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah, I know, but 60% of my followers don't even know how a cryptic crossword clue works so I thought I'd get away with it.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

"Fucking reform leaflet" is a good cryptic crossword clue for "FELLATE".

Take the clown statue and get out! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!! @brainmage.bsky.social · 2d

Fucking reform leaflet through the door while I was out. Fascist fucking cunts. Genuinely sickening.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

When I heard it, I immediately bought the EP. A *lot* of my mutuals would be into that very specific genre of audioplay.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

Dead nonce
Dead nonce
Ian's a dead nonce
He got shivved in prison
I think it was more than once

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

I think someone who was best friends with Tom Binns shouldn't really b- ah, sorry. I forgot he has zero self awareness. Put me down for a tenner.

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

Less baby rapists

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

Grim Night from the Halloween EP is a great audio drama, especially if you revel at the downfall of a certain hate-filled carbonara spinster.

Michael Legge @michaellegge.bsky.social · 3d

All my BRILLIANT Bandcamp stuff is “pay what you want” until midnight on Sunday. Audiobook (recommended), EPs and live shows! You can even have them all for free, if you want. Get them while you can. Normal price returns on Monday. THANK YOU! SPREAD THE WORD!! michaellegge.bandcamp.com/music

Michael Legge

Bandcamp page for comedian Michael Legge. Follow him on Twitter: @michaellegge.

michaellegge.bandcamp.com

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Friz(ombie!) @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 2d

A quarter of a million a MONTH? Part of me is hoping that their main hits are on some nostalgic 2000s playlist curated by some 40-year old who subscribed to Kerrang.