Hare Lockwood
@harecomedy.bsky.social
She/her. Comedian & writer; queer autistic nerd; spreadsheets enthusiast; Mark Watson's official cartographer.
Free, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Free, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Pinned
Hare Lockwood
@harecomedy.bsky.social
· Mar 19
If you want to get your adrenalin pumping I’d certainly recommend doing four minutes of standup to 3000 people.
And if you like doing four* minutes of stand-up to 3000** people, please sign up for Coherent Comedy!
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
I know that my body is changing shape because the teen boys at the gym have started making louder noises of effort when they're lifting weights. 😂
January 30, 2026 at 4:17 PM
I know that my body is changing shape because the teen boys at the gym have started making louder noises of effort when they're lifting weights. 😂
NEW TRAILER 👀
This is ticking along nicely still, would love to have you on board. I don't feel bad promoting it because I'm comfortably making a loss on it. Trailer from @matryer.bsky.social once more.
January 30, 2026 at 3:19 PM
NEW TRAILER 👀
There's a meme going round at the moment about weird past jobs, and you definitely need to listen to @sarahbpolar.bsky.social recounting hers.
Today on Autistic Women Oversharing, we're joined by our brilliant social media manager Sarah Barnard to talk about our past jobs. Nothing can prepare you for this episode save for a Geiger counter, a falafel costume, and... a couple of amorous hamsters? Find us on all good podcast apps!
S02 E03 - Past Jobs ft. Sarah Barnard
Podcast Episode · Autistic Women Oversharing · 01/29/2026 · 57m
podcasts.apple.com
January 30, 2026 at 11:41 AM
There's a meme going round at the moment about weird past jobs, and you definitely need to listen to @sarahbpolar.bsky.social recounting hers.
Advert: Does your body look like THIS? 😱
Me: Yep.
Advert: Here's a thing to fix it! Pay in installments!
Me: No thank you. ☺️
Advert: But-
Me: ☺️☺️☺️
Me: Yep.
Advert: Here's a thing to fix it! Pay in installments!
Me: No thank you. ☺️
Advert: But-
Me: ☺️☺️☺️
January 30, 2026 at 9:27 AM
Advert: Does your body look like THIS? 😱
Me: Yep.
Advert: Here's a thing to fix it! Pay in installments!
Me: No thank you. ☺️
Advert: But-
Me: ☺️☺️☺️
Me: Yep.
Advert: Here's a thing to fix it! Pay in installments!
Me: No thank you. ☺️
Advert: But-
Me: ☺️☺️☺️
So looking forward to this! A lovely evening of comedy from our sofas* to yours**.
See you there. 🍓
*desk chairs, beds, floors, bathroom, third step of the stairs, etc.
** various, think it once included a train
See you there. 🍓
*desk chairs, beds, floors, bathroom, third step of the stairs, etc.
** various, think it once included a train
🍓NEXT MONDAY🍓
Four days until our February show.
Please come, it will be great
📅 Monday 2nd February 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link 👇
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1966906431...
Four days until our February show.
Please come, it will be great
📅 Monday 2nd February 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link 👇
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1966906431...
January 29, 2026 at 8:53 PM
So looking forward to this! A lovely evening of comedy from our sofas* to yours**.
See you there. 🍓
*desk chairs, beds, floors, bathroom, third step of the stairs, etc.
** various, think it once included a train
See you there. 🍓
*desk chairs, beds, floors, bathroom, third step of the stairs, etc.
** various, think it once included a train
I've just remembered there is a Live at Five to watch! (I was at the gym; I couldn't find my headphones; it was a whole thing.)
January 29, 2026 at 7:50 PM
I've just remembered there is a Live at Five to watch! (I was at the gym; I couldn't find my headphones; it was a whole thing.)
No, Channel 4 subtitles, Nish was clearly calling Mark his "wife-sister", not his "wife's sister".
January 29, 2026 at 7:32 PM
No, Channel 4 subtitles, Nish was clearly calling Mark his "wife-sister", not his "wife's sister".
I love working at The Daily Tism. 💜
Our work will always be done by humans and we will pay humans to do that work for as long as people are willing to pay us for our human work and we will never, ever adopt this shite.
‘They are no longer strategizing for voluntary adoption by those who come to recognize the technology’s utility by electively applying it to the problems they face. They are planning how to cross the chasm by forced adoption.’
By @mattseybold.bsky.social
By @mattseybold.bsky.social
January 29, 2026 at 12:29 PM
I love working at The Daily Tism. 💜
I have had my first "Oh, I feel *old*" moment today, when I was irritatedly swiping at something that was in the way on Instagram and a cheery little pop-up went: 'Unfollowed!'
Sorry to whoever I've unfollowed, I was simply trying to move a bubble of your face.
Sorry to whoever I've unfollowed, I was simply trying to move a bubble of your face.
January 29, 2026 at 11:24 AM
I have had my first "Oh, I feel *old*" moment today, when I was irritatedly swiping at something that was in the way on Instagram and a cheery little pop-up went: 'Unfollowed!'
Sorry to whoever I've unfollowed, I was simply trying to move a bubble of your face.
Sorry to whoever I've unfollowed, I was simply trying to move a bubble of your face.
Spouse hasn't seen Succession, so didn't fully appreciate all my delighted sporfling at a set of characters in the new #Zootopia2 film. We both love Judy Hopps, though. <3
January 28, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Spouse hasn't seen Succession, so didn't fully appreciate all my delighted sporfling at a set of characters in the new #Zootopia2 film. We both love Judy Hopps, though. <3
Reposted by Hare Lockwood
Pleased to announce I've been hired to do the marketing for this campaign
January 28, 2026 at 10:59 AM
Pleased to announce I've been hired to do the marketing for this campaign
Reposted by Hare Lockwood
Website: and your postcode?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
January 28, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Website: and your postcode?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Reposted by Hare Lockwood
Monetisation
The advert said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
The advert said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
January 28, 2026 at 9:26 AM
Monetisation
The advert said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
The advert said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
Reposted by Hare Lockwood
VET: so what kind of cat is Macavity?
TS ELIOT: [visibly sweating]
TS ELIOT: [visibly sweating]
January 27, 2026 at 7:47 PM
VET: so what kind of cat is Macavity?
TS ELIOT: [visibly sweating]
TS ELIOT: [visibly sweating]
Finally got an external CD-Drive and ripped a copy of one my 'forever autism interest' albums: Keyboard Jungle by Steve Nieve. I haven't listened to this album in about fifteen years because it's not on any streaming websites and none of my laptops have had a CD drive for about that long.
January 27, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Finally got an external CD-Drive and ripped a copy of one my 'forever autism interest' albums: Keyboard Jungle by Steve Nieve. I haven't listened to this album in about fifteen years because it's not on any streaming websites and none of my laptops have had a CD drive for about that long.
This one goes out to my sister, whose unexpected visit to our house a couple of years back necessitated buying A Third Plate. 🍽️
Ffiona Maw, 30, and Dexter Livingstone, 28, were happy to give their friend a bed for the night in an emergency, but have started to realise the terrible knock-on effect this will have on their lives.
Autistic couple reluctantly buys third plate to accommodate house guest
An autistic couple who agreed to put their friend up for the night have belatedly realised to their dismay that they will need to buy a third plate, eyewitnesses have revealed. Ffiona Maw, 30, and…
thedailytism.com
January 27, 2026 at 6:39 PM
This one goes out to my sister, whose unexpected visit to our house a couple of years back necessitated buying A Third Plate. 🍽️
I love that they have identified a problem - "many autistic people are underpaid" - and their solution,
FB response to one of our Patreon teasers. I mean… we have an entire website with daily new content and a regular podcast for free. We’re supposed to combat autistic people not being able to earn money by not being paid any money for our work under any circumstances ever?
January 27, 2026 at 5:09 PM
I love that they have identified a problem - "many autistic people are underpaid" - and their solution,
Oh, is Hugh Dennis not coming back to Mock the Week? Thank fuck, because I still don't know who Showaddywaddy are.
January 27, 2026 at 3:11 PM
Oh, is Hugh Dennis not coming back to Mock the Week? Thank fuck, because I still don't know who Showaddywaddy are.
There is a generally well-meaning conversation going on in a community I'm in, which is nice to see, but I seem to be witnessing a few strangers' First Time Interacting With Queer People and I do not have the patience to hand-hold them through identity 101 basics.
January 27, 2026 at 6:33 AM
There is a generally well-meaning conversation going on in a community I'm in, which is nice to see, but I seem to be witnessing a few strangers' First Time Interacting With Queer People and I do not have the patience to hand-hold them through identity 101 basics.
Reposted by Hare Lockwood
Tape measure - something people from Yorkshire use to ascertain the size of a gorilla
January 26, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Tape measure - something people from Yorkshire use to ascertain the size of a gorilla
I am delighted and entertained that Higher Ups have apparently removed the footage of Alex's "Greg's Lil Slut" shorts from all the official social media channels.
Imagine what the email from [whoever] looked like. "Take your slut shorts down. NO WAIT-"
Imagine what the email from [whoever] looked like. "Take your slut shorts down. NO WAIT-"
January 26, 2026 at 8:01 AM
I am delighted and entertained that Higher Ups have apparently removed the footage of Alex's "Greg's Lil Slut" shorts from all the official social media channels.
Imagine what the email from [whoever] looked like. "Take your slut shorts down. NO WAIT-"
Imagine what the email from [whoever] looked like. "Take your slut shorts down. NO WAIT-"
Got my writing to 'good enough', then spent the last hour metaphorically whacking it with a mallet to get it to the golden stage: 'actually proud to submit that'.
Sunday nights are perfect for this because:
1. I'm not allowed to go to bed until it's finished, and
2. I have work at 8am tomorrow.
Sunday nights are perfect for this because:
1. I'm not allowed to go to bed until it's finished, and
2. I have work at 8am tomorrow.
January 25, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Got my writing to 'good enough', then spent the last hour metaphorically whacking it with a mallet to get it to the golden stage: 'actually proud to submit that'.
Sunday nights are perfect for this because:
1. I'm not allowed to go to bed until it's finished, and
2. I have work at 8am tomorrow.
Sunday nights are perfect for this because:
1. I'm not allowed to go to bed until it's finished, and
2. I have work at 8am tomorrow.
Friz is a lovely person, please help them if you can. x
Been in a depression hole over the weekend due to a lack of money/food. Just been sleeping. It isn't healthy and I need to start asking for help as soon as I need it.
Diabetic, disabled and UC payment on 2nd. If you can donate to tide me over, thank you.
PayPal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
Diabetic, disabled and UC payment on 2nd. If you can donate to tide me over, thank you.
PayPal.me/frizfrizzle
ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle
Pay Stephen Frizzle using PayPal.Me
Go to paypal.me/FrizFrizzle and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
PayPal.me
January 25, 2026 at 9:19 PM
Friz is a lovely person, please help them if you can. x
WOW
January 25, 2026 at 7:15 PM
WOW