Hare
@harecomedy.bsky.social
She/her. Comedian & writer; queer autistic nerd; spreadsheets enthusiast; Mark Watson's official cartographer. Has a pet hamster. 🐹
Free, online, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Free, online, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Pinned
Hare
@harecomedy.bsky.social
· Mar 19
If you want to get your adrenalin pumping I’d certainly recommend doing four minutes of standup to 3000 people.
And if you like doing four* minutes of stand-up to 3000** people, please sign up for Coherent Comedy!
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
Love watching people attempt to argue with one of the greatest shitposters ever to do it. You cannot win. Sooz is victorious.
November 28, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Love watching people attempt to argue with one of the greatest shitposters ever to do it. You cannot win. Sooz is victorious.
This is for all of us who grew up practising facial expressions in the mirror. (The mirror has notes.)
"Somebody has to tell you!” it exclaimed. “Whenever anything happens in your life, no matter what it is, your face does the same thing: confusion and annoyance. You look like a gerbil who’s trying to solve a quadratic equation.”
Mirror wishes it could give you tips on facial expressions
After living unobtrusively in your hallway for the past six years, your mirror has been getting more and more furious at your inability to do anything right with your stupid face. Today, the mirror…
thedailytism.com
November 28, 2025 at 6:49 PM
This is for all of us who grew up practising facial expressions in the mirror. (The mirror has notes.)
Reposted by Hare
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
November 24, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
Reposted by Hare
RUSSELL 👏 TOVEY 👏 FUCKE 👏 A 👏 FYSH
NEW TRAILER | The War Between the Land and the Sea
YouTube video by Doctor Who
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 2:11 PM
RUSSELL 👏 TOVEY 👏 FUCKE 👏 A 👏 FYSH
Reposted by Hare
🍓NEXT MONDAY🍓
Come on people, get your tickets and join us.
We do funny jokes and things, you’ll have a great time
📅 Monday 1st December 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/coherent-c...
Come on people, get your tickets and join us.
We do funny jokes and things, you’ll have a great time
📅 Monday 1st December 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/coherent-c...
November 27, 2025 at 7:09 PM
🍓NEXT MONDAY🍓
Come on people, get your tickets and join us.
We do funny jokes and things, you’ll have a great time
📅 Monday 1st December 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/coherent-c...
Come on people, get your tickets and join us.
We do funny jokes and things, you’ll have a great time
📅 Monday 1st December 20:00
🖥️ Online, via Zoom
🎟️ Tickets are free and available at the below link
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/coherent-c...
Reposted by Hare
My nephew: Are you a girl or a boy?
Me: a boy, I used to look more like a girl but then I turned into a boy
Nephew: How???
Me: I went to the doctor and they gave me some medicine
Nephew: …
Nephew, bragging now: I’M a boy and I didn’t even HAVE to go to the doctor
Me: a boy, I used to look more like a girl but then I turned into a boy
Nephew: How???
Me: I went to the doctor and they gave me some medicine
Nephew: …
Nephew, bragging now: I’M a boy and I didn’t even HAVE to go to the doctor
November 27, 2025 at 3:41 PM
My nephew: Are you a girl or a boy?
Me: a boy, I used to look more like a girl but then I turned into a boy
Nephew: How???
Me: I went to the doctor and they gave me some medicine
Nephew: …
Nephew, bragging now: I’M a boy and I didn’t even HAVE to go to the doctor
Me: a boy, I used to look more like a girl but then I turned into a boy
Nephew: How???
Me: I went to the doctor and they gave me some medicine
Nephew: …
Nephew, bragging now: I’M a boy and I didn’t even HAVE to go to the doctor
We successfully convinced my sweet, blissfully ignorant mother-in-law of this a couple of years back. "It's got a dog, and snow!" we said. She was... surprised.
FYI: Should John Carpenter's THE THING be officially classified as a Christmas movie? Let your voice be heard!
Is John Carpenter’s THE THING A Christmas Movie? Have Your Say
Should John Carpenter's THE THING be officially classified as a Christmas movie? Let your voice be heard!
dlvr.it
November 27, 2025 at 7:06 PM
We successfully convinced my sweet, blissfully ignorant mother-in-law of this a couple of years back. "It's got a dog, and snow!" we said. She was... surprised.
Reposted by Hare
Really worried this woman is going to have to sell her £2million and maybe, sorry, welling up here, maybe have to buy a £1million house like a piece of SHIT.
November 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Really worried this woman is going to have to sell her £2million and maybe, sorry, welling up here, maybe have to buy a £1million house like a piece of SHIT.
Reposted by Hare
When preparing a Nativity scene this year, don’t forget to leave space for… *checks notes* …Andy Zaltzman being given a bath in a giant teacup.
November 27, 2025 at 11:44 AM
When preparing a Nativity scene this year, don’t forget to leave space for… *checks notes* …Andy Zaltzman being given a bath in a giant teacup.
These are all so gorgeous. Special shout-out to this one which made me giggle and quote Taskmaster, "They're saying 'wow.'" www.edwardphilips.co.uk/vintage-rail...
November 27, 2025 at 10:17 AM
These are all so gorgeous. Special shout-out to this one which made me giggle and quote Taskmaster, "They're saying 'wow.'" www.edwardphilips.co.uk/vintage-rail...
Good evening from this scruffy old man. 🐹
November 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Good evening from this scruffy old man. 🐹
Sure, I know it's HTML failure, but I am enjoying what is presumably the first time this has ever been said:
"An episodic murder mystery story written by and starring <strong>Mark Watson"
"An episodic murder mystery story written by and starring <strong>Mark Watson"
November 26, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Sure, I know it's HTML failure, but I am enjoying what is presumably the first time this has ever been said:
"An episodic murder mystery story written by and starring <strong>Mark Watson"
"An episodic murder mystery story written by and starring <strong>Mark Watson"
Fair play, I absolutely don't remember the context for this
November 26, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Fair play, I absolutely don't remember the context for this
Just seen an advert on BBC for The Snooker. Saturday at 1pm. Ahhhhh cannot wait. Gentle clacking noises followed by approving murmuring. 😍
November 26, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Just seen an advert on BBC for The Snooker. Saturday at 1pm. Ahhhhh cannot wait. Gentle clacking noises followed by approving murmuring. 😍
Reposted by Hare
guys I'm going to be honest, culturally I checked out somewhere around skibidi toilet
November 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
guys I'm going to be honest, culturally I checked out somewhere around skibidi toilet
Someone at the gym is covered in *all* the perfume. All of it. Like an entire Lush. I am politely attempting not to gag every time they walk past, like the hero I am.
November 26, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Someone at the gym is covered in *all* the perfume. All of it. Like an entire Lush. I am politely attempting not to gag every time they walk past, like the hero I am.
I am trying a thing I saw online where I practice disagreeing with a friend (on something that doesn't matter) and try to calm down my immediate urge to
a) apologise
b) panic
c) change my opinion to theirs
If I can get the hang of this, lads, imagine the possibilities.
a) apologise
b) panic
c) change my opinion to theirs
If I can get the hang of this, lads, imagine the possibilities.
November 26, 2025 at 7:55 AM
I am trying a thing I saw online where I practice disagreeing with a friend (on something that doesn't matter) and try to calm down my immediate urge to
a) apologise
b) panic
c) change my opinion to theirs
If I can get the hang of this, lads, imagine the possibilities.
a) apologise
b) panic
c) change my opinion to theirs
If I can get the hang of this, lads, imagine the possibilities.
😭💜
November 25, 2025 at 9:44 PM
😭💜
Update: I *did* make a lot of sad noises while clutching my stomach. I also watched series two of both Daddy Issues (incredible) and Animal Control ('yeah, we wish we were Brooklyn 99 too'), and I made a load of notes for the upcoming podcast @murderbastard.bsky.social.
I have had a bad reaction to some medication, so I will be spending today curled protectively around my stomach making sad keening noises.
November 25, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Update: I *did* make a lot of sad noises while clutching my stomach. I also watched series two of both Daddy Issues (incredible) and Animal Control ('yeah, we wish we were Brooklyn 99 too'), and I made a load of notes for the upcoming podcast @murderbastard.bsky.social.
Sarah's writing is amazing. 🤩
A complete and utter cockwomble has reportedly appointed themselves as an expert in your personal circumstances, deciding in their infinite wisdom that your autism is “only mild”.
“You’ve only got mild autism” says mild twat
A complete and utter cockwomble has reportedly appointed themselves as an expert in your personal circumstances, deciding in their infinite wisdom that your autism is “only mild”. Local fucktrumpet…
thedailytism.com
November 25, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Sarah's writing is amazing. 🤩
I have had a bad reaction to some medication, so I will be spending today curled protectively around my stomach making sad keening noises.
November 25, 2025 at 9:21 AM
I have had a bad reaction to some medication, so I will be spending today curled protectively around my stomach making sad keening noises.
Reposted by Hare
🎵
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
bovril amphetemines
November 25, 2025 at 8:03 AM
🎵
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
Just had a regular dental check-up and a clean, so if you need me I'll be howling out my feelings for the next couple of hours.
November 24, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Just had a regular dental check-up and a clean, so if you need me I'll be howling out my feelings for the next couple of hours.
Reposted by Hare
I'm Funny How? I Mean Funny Like I'm A Clown, I Amuse You? I Make You Laugh, I'm Here To Fuckin' Amuse You? What Do You Mean Funny, Funny How, Charlie Brown?
You Won’t Find It Down There, Charlie Brown
Sell Crazy Someplace Else, We're All Stocked Up Here, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 10:57 AM
I'm Funny How? I Mean Funny Like I'm A Clown, I Amuse You? I Make You Laugh, I'm Here To Fuckin' Amuse You? What Do You Mean Funny, Funny How, Charlie Brown?