Jack Bernhardt
@jackbern.bsky.social
Informative and sexy at the same time!
Writes for Horrible Histories, Dogs In Space, Amazing World of Gumball; also talks a lot on podcasts (Taskmaster The People's Podcast, Football Book Club)
he/him
Writes for Horrible Histories, Dogs In Space, Amazing World of Gumball; also talks a lot on podcasts (Taskmaster The People's Podcast, Football Book Club)
he/him
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Sultana and Corbyn act like they were put together in a competition by Simon Cowell and now they're contractually obliged to go on tour
November 29, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Sultana and Corbyn act like they were put together in a competition by Simon Cowell and now they're contractually obliged to go on tour
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
“I was just following otters.”
November 28, 2025 at 9:09 PM
“I was just following otters.”
I maintain Black Friday is a conspiracy orchestrated by the United States to make the rest of us care about when Thanksgiving is
November 28, 2025 at 3:40 PM
I maintain Black Friday is a conspiracy orchestrated by the United States to make the rest of us care about when Thanksgiving is
"oh go on then. it is Black Friday, after all!" I chuckle, before jumping into the screaming throng of bodies in Lidl, booting a pensioner in the head for a discount tin of sausages
November 28, 2025 at 3:33 PM
"oh go on then. it is Black Friday, after all!" I chuckle, before jumping into the screaming throng of bodies in Lidl, booting a pensioner in the head for a discount tin of sausages
Okay obviously this is ahistorical nonsense but I do think it gives an interesting insight into the essential conservative mindset, that there existed a natural perfect stateless hierarchy which was destroyed by the godless unnatural [insert literally any revolution/social change after 1789 here]
November 28, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Okay obviously this is ahistorical nonsense but I do think it gives an interesting insight into the essential conservative mindset, that there existed a natural perfect stateless hierarchy which was destroyed by the godless unnatural [insert literally any revolution/social change after 1789 here]
do you think people in the 1920s had that whole "oh my god can you believe 50 years ago was 1870 not 1850" thing (or were they just too worried about the War/Great Depression to care)
November 28, 2025 at 11:11 AM
do you think people in the 1920s had that whole "oh my god can you believe 50 years ago was 1870 not 1850" thing (or were they just too worried about the War/Great Depression to care)
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
good news everyone the Mistaken Text From Grandma Thanksgiving buddy drama is still going strong
this story delights me every year
this story delights me every year
From text to tradition: Jamal Hinton and Wanda Dench mark 10th Thanksgiving together after accidental invitation.
Arizona pair celebrates decade of friendship that started with wrong text
From text to tradition: Jamal Hinton and Wanda Dench mark 10th Thanksgiving together after accidental invitation.
www.azfamily.com
November 28, 2025 at 2:34 AM
good news everyone the Mistaken Text From Grandma Thanksgiving buddy drama is still going strong
this story delights me every year
this story delights me every year
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
i know i've rt'd this point before but honestly it puts us to shame
Hong Kong fire and Grenfell are just alike. Fire spreading through unsafe building materials installed due to penny-pinching, killing dozens. One difference: before the HK fire is even out three executives at contractors have been arrested, eight years after Grenfell no-one has been arrested.
November 28, 2025 at 10:30 AM
i know i've rt'd this point before but honestly it puts us to shame
[over on X] but when is it WHITE FRIDAY
November 28, 2025 at 9:33 AM
[over on X] but when is it WHITE FRIDAY
I don't think I've ever worn anything that is Unapologetically Me. My style is "tired dad stuck in hedge", the apology is implicit and constant
November 26, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I don't think I've ever worn anything that is Unapologetically Me. My style is "tired dad stuck in hedge", the apology is implicit and constant
guys I'm going to be honest, culturally I checked out somewhere around skibidi toilet
November 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
guys I'm going to be honest, culturally I checked out somewhere around skibidi toilet
the idea of anyone, let alone Trump, scoring a perfect physical exam is so funny, as if there's a Craig Revel Horwood-esque doctor agonising over the results, "if I could take points off for his little finger, his kidneys or his appendix, I would...but no, Donald Trump has an entirely flawless body"
Trump rages about New York Times story on age: ‘PERFECT PHYSICAL EXAM AND A COMPREHENSIVE COGNITIVE TEST’
Trump rages about New York Times story on age: ‘PERFECT PHYSICAL EXAM AND A COMPREHENSIVE COGNITIVE TEST’
The president, now 79, is the oldest person ever elected to the Oval Office.
dlvr.it
November 26, 2025 at 2:50 PM
the idea of anyone, let alone Trump, scoring a perfect physical exam is so funny, as if there's a Craig Revel Horwood-esque doctor agonising over the results, "if I could take points off for his little finger, his kidneys or his appendix, I would...but no, Donald Trump has an entirely flawless body"
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
The writer's room for this show should have been filmed. I poured hard liquor out for the jokes we had to cut for time 😭😭😭
Please enjoy Dead Funny History as much as we enjoyed writing it
Please enjoy Dead Funny History as much as we enjoyed writing it
HERE! WE! FUCKING! GO! I have been making this show for TWO YEARS, it's finally going out this Christmas, Baby's First Production Credit is gonna be on R4 over the Radio Times Double Issue Window, baybeh! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...
November 25, 2025 at 11:59 AM
The writer's room for this show should have been filmed. I poured hard liquor out for the jokes we had to cut for time 😭😭😭
Please enjoy Dead Funny History as much as we enjoyed writing it
Please enjoy Dead Funny History as much as we enjoyed writing it
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Factual sketch comedy! On radio! For families! KS2 Appropriate! Made by a buncha women! feat jokes by comedy superstars @athenakugblenu.bsky.social & @jackbern.bsky.social & starring @gregjenner.bsky.social, @jlukeroberts.bsky.social, Richard David Caine & Mali Ann Rees!
November 25, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Factual sketch comedy! On radio! For families! KS2 Appropriate! Made by a buncha women! feat jokes by comedy superstars @athenakugblenu.bsky.social & @jackbern.bsky.social & starring @gregjenner.bsky.social, @jlukeroberts.bsky.social, Richard David Caine & Mali Ann Rees!
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
HERE! WE! FUCKING! GO! I have been making this show for TWO YEARS, it's finally going out this Christmas, Baby's First Production Credit is gonna be on R4 over the Radio Times Double Issue Window, baybeh! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...
November 25, 2025 at 10:58 AM
HERE! WE! FUCKING! GO! I have been making this show for TWO YEARS, it's finally going out this Christmas, Baby's First Production Credit is gonna be on R4 over the Radio Times Double Issue Window, baybeh! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Oh it's a big day today as the guys from @upshottowers.bsky.social join us to read BARRY FRY'S autobiography, ‘Big Fry’ 🍟!
Ft dodgy chairmen, headless corpses, George Best at Dunstable, & Barry lifting a curse with his own urine 💧
🎧 LISTEN: podfollow.com/football-boo...
Ft dodgy chairmen, headless corpses, George Best at Dunstable, & Barry lifting a curse with his own urine 💧
🎧 LISTEN: podfollow.com/football-boo...
November 24, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Oh it's a big day today as the guys from @upshottowers.bsky.social join us to read BARRY FRY'S autobiography, ‘Big Fry’ 🍟!
Ft dodgy chairmen, headless corpses, George Best at Dunstable, & Barry lifting a curse with his own urine 💧
🎧 LISTEN: podfollow.com/football-boo...
Ft dodgy chairmen, headless corpses, George Best at Dunstable, & Barry lifting a curse with his own urine 💧
🎧 LISTEN: podfollow.com/football-boo...
oh you're a Christian? What if I told you a guy called Christian killed my dad? Not such a good religion now is it
There are some truly unhinged bits in the piece about Glasman, as to be expected when dealing with Glasman, but seriously what the actual? That's...one hell of a conflation of terminology.
November 23, 2025 at 4:18 PM
oh you're a Christian? What if I told you a guy called Christian killed my dad? Not such a good religion now is it
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
There are some truly unhinged bits in the piece about Glasman, as to be expected when dealing with Glasman, but seriously what the actual? That's...one hell of a conflation of terminology.
November 23, 2025 at 3:19 PM
There are some truly unhinged bits in the piece about Glasman, as to be expected when dealing with Glasman, but seriously what the actual? That's...one hell of a conflation of terminology.
if Paddy McGuinness didn't exist, and I wrote something where someone was called "Paddy McGuinness", I would be tried in the Hague
November 19, 2025 at 6:33 PM
if Paddy McGuinness didn't exist, and I wrote something where someone was called "Paddy McGuinness", I would be tried in the Hague
I will never understand Instagram
November 19, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I will never understand Instagram
President begins backtrack on key laws - concerning crime (5, 4)
November 19, 2025 at 2:19 PM
President begins backtrack on key laws - concerning crime (5, 4)
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
🎵The Vengabus is coming,
And we are very cunning,
We're driving really close by,
So we can steal its WiFi,
I want to watch my TikToks,
And old Lovejoys on Britbox,
We're using all our gumption,
And saving fuel consumption🎵
And we are very cunning,
We're driving really close by,
So we can steal its WiFi,
I want to watch my TikToks,
And old Lovejoys on Britbox,
We're using all our gumption,
And saving fuel consumption🎵
November 19, 2025 at 9:58 AM
🎵The Vengabus is coming,
And we are very cunning,
We're driving really close by,
So we can steal its WiFi,
I want to watch my TikToks,
And old Lovejoys on Britbox,
We're using all our gumption,
And saving fuel consumption🎵
And we are very cunning,
We're driving really close by,
So we can steal its WiFi,
I want to watch my TikToks,
And old Lovejoys on Britbox,
We're using all our gumption,
And saving fuel consumption🎵
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
