Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Alistair Coleman

@alistaircoleman.bsky.social

7.5K followers 480 following 9.9K posts

Former internet celebrity. Former journalist. Current author and @apiln.bsky.social Supreme Leader. fizzandnonsense.bsky.social completes me.

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · Oct 10

Once more with the Lo-fi lookalikes in foreign media, then.

Every celebrity has a lookalike in foreign media no.???: Turkish Nick Knowles out off of Strictly Come Dancing

13 10 89

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1h

History’s greatest ever monster

Reposted by Alistair Coleman

Harry Turtledove @hntdove.bsky.social · 20h

Ea-Nāşir's perfidy seems eternal!

Comic

Panel one. Stick finger singing, "Raindrops on rose/ And whiskers on kittens."

Panel two. Same stick figure holding pot and singing, "Bright copper kettles leave/ ...Flakes on my mittens!?"

Panel three. Same figure still holding pot and singing, "Hey, these are stone with a copper veneer!"

Fourth panel. Same stick figure has put down pot and is singing, "I've been bamboozled by Ea-Nāşir!"

20 240 1.1K

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 3h

Not even that. It’s a few weeks away, but sane start time and LNER > SWR.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 3h

A miracle. I have booked a train ticket from Berwick-upon-Tweed to Weymouth FOR LESS THAN £100.

6 23

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 5h

“I’ve written a poem”

[journalism]

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 3d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 5h

Leo, a dog, demonstrates his powers of levitation.

Leo, a dog, staring intently at a bouncing tennis ball.

5 47

Reposted by Alistair Coleman

The Guardian @theguardian.com · 1d

Diane Keaton, Oscar-winning star of Annie Hall and The Godfather, dies aged 79

The Oscar-winner best known for her many collaborations with Woody Allen, as well as films including Reds, The First Wives Club and The Book Club, has died Diane Keaton, one of the best-loved film stars of the past 50 years, has died at the age of 79 in California. The news was confirmed by People magazine. Further details are not available at this time, and her loved ones have asked for privacy, according to a family spokesperson. Continue reading...

www.theguardian.com

47 280 720

Reposted by Alistair Coleman

The Content Apologist @contentapologist.bsky.social · 1d

No wonder the North Koreans are cheering if they're going to share in the world's biggest Colin the Caterpillar cake.

1 15 73

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

To be fair, he comes out of this interview rather better.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Go Back To Where You Came From: Barnsley man on taking part in show

Lorry driver Nathan Rimmington says outlook on life has changed after replicating refugees' journey.

www.bbc.co.uk

1 8

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

And now for a feast, eh readers?

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Rochdale Town Hall, the finest town hall for a town of its size in the north of England (Don Estelle). Also, Don Estelle.

1 8

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Meanwhile in Pyongyang:
“Stone the crows, what batteries does that take?”
“I dunno, ask your mum”

Kim Jong Un taking the salute at North Korea’s 80th birthday party.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

“Christ on a bike, Vladimir, have you seen the conference agenda?”
“World of Melons?”
“World of Melons”
“I could have been in Pyongyang”

A fuck-Off huge pyramid of melons in an enchanted glade.

1 7

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

The big question is “Did conference host Emomali Rahmon drag everyone along on a trip through floodlit gardens to see the melons?”

And the answer is “Of course he bloody did”.

Emomali Rahmon taking Putin and Central Asian leaders to see huge pyramids of melons.

3 3

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Indeed.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Didn’t get Kraftwerk tickets? Blame these bastards.

Leaders at a central Asian summit meeting in Tajikistan.

4 2 15

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

Ah ha yes

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

It only came today!

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

Stupid sexy Fesshole

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

Chippy tea?

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

Christina Martin did a review. Glorious.

The Wit & Wisdom of Paul Daniels

If you were to say to me “so, read any good books lately?” the answer would be a definite “no” But who wants to read a good book when you ...

christinalouisemartin.blogspot.com

3 3 10

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

It is apparently still there.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

I rise from my sickbed to see that this has arrived. Opened to a random page and immediately read a “naturally I had the last laugh” story, so things are boding well.

Paul Daniels - Under No Illusion, his autobiography

11 1 46

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

Something something Thomas the Tank something.

1 2

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 2d

I can! They weren’t allowed to open during Covid, had time on their hands and “did their own research”. See also hairdressers, café owners, taxi drivers. Actually, the taxi drivers were doing their own research long before Covid.

2 2 29