Kristen Wixx
@kristenwixx.bsky.social
Liberal Gen Xer ✦ Legendary Meme Bandit ✦ Lifelong Insomniac
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.
https://twittergamesblog.wordpress.com/
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.
https://twittergamesblog.wordpress.com/
Pinned
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
When the toilet training finally works.
November 22, 2025 at 4:09 AM
When the toilet training finally works.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 AM
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
November 22, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
They havin a moment....
November 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
They havin a moment....
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Scurryfunge [SKUR-ee-funj]
(v.)
- To rush around cleaning the house when company is on their way over.
(n.)
- The act of rushing to clean one’s home in preparation for impending company.
(v.)
- To rush around cleaning the house when company is on their way over.
(n.)
- The act of rushing to clean one’s home in preparation for impending company.
November 22, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Scurryfunge [SKUR-ee-funj]
(v.)
- To rush around cleaning the house when company is on their way over.
(n.)
- The act of rushing to clean one’s home in preparation for impending company.
(v.)
- To rush around cleaning the house when company is on their way over.
(n.)
- The act of rushing to clean one’s home in preparation for impending company.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Although we can't name her name yet, we will be welcoming a new HR manager the first week of January.
November 22, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Although we can't name her name yet, we will be welcoming a new HR manager the first week of January.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
After that meeting, I'm never playing poker against Zohran Mamdani.
November 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
After that meeting, I'm never playing poker against Zohran Mamdani.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
November 21, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
All I'm saying is the second guy to bungee jump was honest about his weight.
November 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
All I'm saying is the second guy to bungee jump was honest about his weight.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
“It wasn’t me.”
“I have several witnesses.”
“They’re mistaken.”
“We found crumbs in your fur.”
“You planted those there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m being framed.”
“Listen, pal-“
“Lawyer.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I want my lawyer.”
“I don’t think-“
“Listen, buddy, I’ve got rights.”
“I have several witnesses.”
“They’re mistaken.”
“We found crumbs in your fur.”
“You planted those there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m being framed.”
“Listen, pal-“
“Lawyer.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I want my lawyer.”
“I don’t think-“
“Listen, buddy, I’ve got rights.”
November 20, 2025 at 6:41 PM
“It wasn’t me.”
“I have several witnesses.”
“They’re mistaken.”
“We found crumbs in your fur.”
“You planted those there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m being framed.”
“Listen, pal-“
“Lawyer.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I want my lawyer.”
“I don’t think-“
“Listen, buddy, I’ve got rights.”
“I have several witnesses.”
“They’re mistaken.”
“We found crumbs in your fur.”
“You planted those there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m being framed.”
“Listen, pal-“
“Lawyer.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I want my lawyer.”
“I don’t think-“
“Listen, buddy, I’ve got rights.”
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
November 21, 2025 at 5:28 PM
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Notifications so dry they need a little gravy
November 22, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Notifications so dry they need a little gravy
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
you don't have Beer Can Chicken Pringles? no Everything Bagel Pringles? please, tell me more about how you live in the greatest country in the world.
November 22, 2025 at 3:15 AM
you don't have Beer Can Chicken Pringles? no Everything Bagel Pringles? please, tell me more about how you live in the greatest country in the world.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Major Tom: Tell my wife I love her very much.
Ground Control: Roger. Took care of that last night.
Ground Control: Roger. Took care of that last night.
November 22, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Major Tom: Tell my wife I love her very much.
Ground Control: Roger. Took care of that last night.
Ground Control: Roger. Took care of that last night.
Me, watching the waitress walk toward me with my fajitas...
November 22, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Me, watching the waitress walk toward me with my fajitas...
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
My boy Dudley has a birthday today. He is one (1) years old. Here he is back in the old days (January)
November 21, 2025 at 11:08 PM
My boy Dudley has a birthday today. He is one (1) years old. Here he is back in the old days (January)
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Punctuation matters.
November 21, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Punctuation matters.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
My favorite part of the morning is when everyone else is asleep and it's still dark.
Oh, wait, that's the night.
Oh, wait, that's the night.
November 22, 2025 at 12:14 AM
My favorite part of the morning is when everyone else is asleep and it's still dark.
Oh, wait, that's the night.
Oh, wait, that's the night.
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Because I like to experience every emotion at once, it also makes me absolutely furious no congressional Dems have the aura, charisma, authenticity or basic fortitude to ever come remotely close to a tiny percentage of what we watched today
I am not forgetting about the Epstein files. I am not forgetting about the threats of executions, or about DHS/ICE/CBP, nor the corruption. But it’s certainly good to watch and laugh about how thoroughly Mamdani commanded the White House today, without once cowering from Trump or a press question.
November 22, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Because I like to experience every emotion at once, it also makes me absolutely furious no congressional Dems have the aura, charisma, authenticity or basic fortitude to ever come remotely close to a tiny percentage of what we watched today
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
When does the romcom come out
November 22, 2025 at 12:27 AM
When does the romcom come out
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
babe, listen, I need you to bring me $15,000 cash and my passport. I out-pizza’d the hut and they are after me
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 AM
babe, listen, I need you to bring me $15,000 cash and my passport. I out-pizza’d the hut and they are after me
Reposted by Kristen Wixx
Today has been weird
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene announces she is resigning from Congress. Her last day in office will be January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Today has been weird