Kristen Wixx
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kristenwixx.bsky.social
Kristen Wixx
@kristenwixx.bsky.social
9K followers 8.8K following 1.3K posts
Liberal Gen Xer ✦ Legendary Meme Bandit ✦ Lifelong Insomniac

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.

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kristenwixx.bsky.social
Me, watching the waitress walk toward me with my fajitas...
Trump, sitting in the Oval Office, looks up at Mamdani, who is standing next to him, with a huge smile on his face.
November 22, 2025 at 3:08 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I need to sign up to bring something to my office's holiday potluck luncheon. Would jello shots be considered hors d'oeuvres or dessert?
Cherry jello shots, each topped off with a maraschino cherry.
November 22, 2025 at 2:20 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
When you are scheduled to have surgery, but find out they finally fixed the ice cream machine.
A person on a gurney at the drive-thru window for McDonald's.
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Ugh, please stop fear-mongering.

The House voted in favor of a resolution condemning socialism today. 86 Democrats joined Republicans in supporting the measure in a 285-98 vote, including Minority Leader Jeffries.

So, I assume that means they're going to repeal the following socialist programs...
The Department of Agriculture, Amber Alerts, Amtrak, public beaches, public busing services, business subsidies, the Census Bureau, the CIA, federal student loans, the court system, dams, public defenders, disability insurance, the Department of Energy, the Environmental Protection Agency, farm subsidies, the FBI, the FCC, the FDA, FEMA, fire departments, food stamps, garbage collection, public housing, the IRS, public landfills, public libraries, Medicare, Medicaid, the military, state and national monuments, public museums, NASA, the National Weather Service, public parks, the Peace Corps, police departments, prisons and jails, public schools, the Secret Service, sewer systems, snow removal systems, Social Security, public street lighting, the Department of Transportation, USPS, the VA, the WIC program, and state zoos.
November 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Someone actually recreated that scene. 😂
November 21, 2025 at 1:46 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
How do you stay informed without going insane?
"This Is Fine," meme. A cartoon of a dog sitting at a table with a cup of coffee, while the room around him is on fire. The text reads, "Folks, it's been only ten months. Only ten months.
November 20, 2025 at 10:21 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I picked up some pastries for tomorrow's staff meeting.
A sign for a baked good. The text reads, "Handmade Scorn."
November 20, 2025 at 12:37 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
...and that's how I ended up losing my job as a photographer's assistant.
A family posing for a professional photographer with various sports equipment. The mom, dad, older brother, and sister are smiling for the camera, while the younger brother stands behind them holding a baseball bat with an unsettling look on his face.
November 19, 2025 at 10:11 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
It's nice to finally see some truth in advertising.
Packages of "Wasted and Broke" ramen noodle soup.
November 19, 2025 at 8:47 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
This next one is called "The Red Dot That Got Away."
A cat holding a guitar.
November 19, 2025 at 1:42 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I call dibs on Thanksgiving.
A sign for the Miriam Vale Hotel. The text reads, "Our town is so small we don't have a town drunk, so we all take it in turns."
November 18, 2025 at 10:32 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
So, anyway... I need to find a new therapist.
Jay and Silent Bob. The text reads, "Therapist: What do we say when we make a mistake? Me: Fuck, fuck, fuck. Mother, mother fuck. Mother, mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck, mother fuck."
November 18, 2025 at 1:41 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Feed cleanser.
November 18, 2025 at 12:10 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
While whispering, "Please don't fit."
Y'all ever buy underwear and take them out the pack and be like, "DAAAAAANG! THESE ARE BIG!!" Then put them on and they fit like a glove?
November 17, 2025 at 11:29 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Dancin' DJ in da house.
November 17, 2025 at 10:17 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I don't usually buy into conspiracy theories, but this rings true.
A trio of construction workers standing in a road construction zone. The text reads, "You see those vehicles taking an alternative route over there? We need to start some road works over there, too."
November 17, 2025 at 3:38 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Hello, 911? I'd like to report a crime.
Slices of congealed gravy on top of turkey and mashed potatoes. The text reads, "Nah, they really got sliced gravy." For the record: I have no idea if this is real or not. George Costanza would probably approve.
November 17, 2025 at 1:09 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I find it hard to believe that anything could be this stupid.
Post from Gramps on Twitter. The text reads, "I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid."
November 16, 2025 at 9:29 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Less news, more comedy, please.
November 16, 2025 at 8:30 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I hope your insurance is up to date.
They say, "Don't try this at home," so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
November 16, 2025 at 7:34 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
I feel this.
Post from Elaine on Twitter. The text reads, "Just a reminder for Christmas this year... if your birth year starts with a 19, wrap your presents on a table and not the floor..."
November 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Within reason.
No inspirational quote for today. Punch them if you need to.
November 16, 2025 at 12:24 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
My favorite, so far.
Post from Rebekah Gleaves Sanderlin on Threads. The text reads, "We should have seen this coming. Nixon was also taken down by deep throat."
November 15, 2025 at 6:52 PM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Just thinking about it warms my heart.
A dinner roll. The text reads, "It's almost time to spend three days in the kitchen so the kids can eat this."
November 15, 2025 at 3:52 AM
kristenwixx.bsky.social
Me, being removed from the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet...
A surprised-looking, overweight cat being carried away by a fireman.
November 15, 2025 at 2:37 AM