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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

@unfitz.bsky.social

22K followers 2.6K following 11K posts

Fugitive warlord. Indicted crypto kingpin. Disgraced former intern. Dry clean only. He/him/his Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Oct 11

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Mar 7

“Mötley Crüe” would be a more badass name if it didn’t look like some IKEA furniture.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 13

This day in history. 409. Barbarian Alans crossed the Pyrenees and raided Iberia with their ferocious allies the Simons, the Colins, and the Nigels.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Jun 1

Yes, by all means, autocorrect. Let’s describe me as a “long distance ruiner.”

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 19h

Feel like selling everything and moving to a little cabin in the mountains. Maybe I’ll find some abandoned bear cubs to rescue.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 17h

Uses candy corn as ear plugs.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 19h

i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 21h

Baby are you a spare tire because you look kinda wonky & I don’t know how to change you.

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

LadyDEADtera32 🍁😷🌈💀 @ladylettera32.bsky.social · 1d

Getting fired from my mortician job because I made all the dead people look like glam rockers

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · May 12

People: Let's meet up later!

ADHD: Sounds good!

Anxiety: No, you'll make it weird.

ADHD: No I won't

Anxiety: Yes you will

ADHD: No

Anxiety: Remember that detailed description of how plague victims died?

ADHD: Oh

Anxiety: Yes

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Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 21h

I just felt a small, but genuine thrill when noticing we’d finally finished the awful lemon-scented hand soap in the kitchen, and it had been replaced with my favorite cherry blossom soap. It would seem that I have a favorite hand soap. Such is the rock and roll lifestyle I lead.