Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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Doctor Fellasaur @doctordinosaur.bsky.social · 2d

One is offering unmoral services for money and the other sells porn.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 2d

My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 2d

Not even Newsmax will sign The Pentagon's "Death of a free press" directive.

deadline.com/2025/10/pent...

Media Outlets, Ranging From The Atlantic To Newsmax, Refuse To Sign New Pentagon Press Policy

The Atlantic, CNN and Newsmax are among the organizations refusing to sign the policy with its new restrictions.

deadline.com

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Lee Harveryscary @valleyguitarist.bsky.social · 2d

Can't let people clean your granny's arse if they don't know what the themes of King Lear are

The Independent @the-independent.com · 2d

Migrants will need A-level standard English to work in UK

www.independent.co.uk

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onion person @junlper.beer · 2d

if you already didn’t have enough reasons to cancel spotify:

Santiago Mayer @santiagomayer.com · 3d

Spotify is now running recruitment ads for ICE.

It’s time to cancel your account.

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Electric Chimp @electricchimp.bsky.social · 2d

without any arms? dang

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 5d

The president keeps vacuuming in front of the TV while I am playing the economy

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daryl "treehouse of hormones" b 🏳️‍⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 5d

this headline would be fine without that last s

Jay Allen @gaiaslastlaugh.bsky.social · 5d

"Firm views"

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

Wait, slow down, what was the second part again?

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 5d

throw the ball, hit the ball, catch the ball. that's the name of the game right there

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 8d

Not to get political but someone left a dildo in my building's driveway today. And when I got back from my errands it was gone

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 5d

Anything can be a puppet if you don’t care what happens to your hand

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 9d

If Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can't make it, what hope is there for me and the black monolith that knows all things

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

I like your chances

1

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mike @sonuvafitch.bsky.social · 5d

I hope the game is still going when I wake up tomorrow

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Schmrrrrrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 5d

just hear me out: thrice baked potato

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

They already broke the no bastards rule, everything is permitted

2

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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 5d

We might literally have to try out that “there’s no rule that a dog can’t play baseball” thing at this point

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

AJ WAS RIGHT

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

The fastest mego moment in my life was when I tried to start a mastodon acct

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Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir) @nora.zone · 5d

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 5d

ME: a doctor put a curse on me

WIFE: which doctor

ME: yes

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 5d

Trump got a covid and flu shot this week because damn, the marks are just that stupid

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Leif Malone @handle.invalid · 6d

Baseball players should kiss. Same team, different team. Don’t care.

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clamdaniel.bsky.social @clamdaniel.bsky.social · 5d

*takes Xanax in slow motion*

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