niteynite
@niteynite.bsky.social
not too off-puttingly handsome
Reposted by niteynite
late night soul baring session with the 12 disciples)
Judas: we never really celebrated my birthday. I had a rough childbirth and I think my mom resented...
Jesus: Holy fuck! Did I ever tell you guys that three frickin' KINGS came to my childbirth!
Judas: yes. yes you have.
Judas: we never really celebrated my birthday. I had a rough childbirth and I think my mom resented...
Jesus: Holy fuck! Did I ever tell you guys that three frickin' KINGS came to my childbirth!
Judas: yes. yes you have.
March 3, 2025 at 2:00 AM
late night soul baring session with the 12 disciples)
Judas: we never really celebrated my birthday. I had a rough childbirth and I think my mom resented...
Jesus: Holy fuck! Did I ever tell you guys that three frickin' KINGS came to my childbirth!
Judas: yes. yes you have.
Judas: we never really celebrated my birthday. I had a rough childbirth and I think my mom resented...
Jesus: Holy fuck! Did I ever tell you guys that three frickin' KINGS came to my childbirth!
Judas: yes. yes you have.
Reposted by niteynite
"Is mathematics discovered or invented?"
Look man, don't fuck with me
Look man, don't fuck with me
December 18, 2024 at 2:55 PM
"Is mathematics discovered or invented?"
Look man, don't fuck with me
Look man, don't fuck with me
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them: GO FUCK YOURSELF
me: you'd be ecstatic if you knew how badly I've fucked myself over the years
me: you'd be ecstatic if you knew how badly I've fucked myself over the years
December 12, 2024 at 3:34 PM
them: GO FUCK YOURSELF
me: you'd be ecstatic if you knew how badly I've fucked myself over the years
me: you'd be ecstatic if you knew how badly I've fucked myself over the years
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(me, learning another language)
I want to, how you say, fuck that pizza
I want to, how you say, fuck that pizza
April 10, 2025 at 12:35 PM
(me, learning another language)
I want to, how you say, fuck that pizza
I want to, how you say, fuck that pizza
Reposted by niteynite
When the AI gets so good that woman can send it nudes and get positive, judgment free validation that's it, we're done, singularity attained
August 25, 2025 at 1:24 PM
When the AI gets so good that woman can send it nudes and get positive, judgment free validation that's it, we're done, singularity attained
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Yeah, I use AI
(Ratso Rizzo voice) AI walkin' here
(Ratso Rizzo voice) AI walkin' here
October 17, 2024 at 8:31 PM
Yeah, I use AI
(Ratso Rizzo voice) AI walkin' here
(Ratso Rizzo voice) AI walkin' here
Reposted by niteynite
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
December 1, 2025 at 7:11 AM
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
Reposted by niteynite
I bet people in olden times were walking around with the most insane toenails
November 30, 2025 at 5:36 AM
I bet people in olden times were walking around with the most insane toenails
LSU and Lane Kiffen deserve each other.
November 30, 2025 at 9:15 PM
LSU and Lane Kiffen deserve each other.
I can't remember whether I have ADD or ADHD. I kind of zoned out when my doctor told me.
November 29, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I can't remember whether I have ADD or ADHD. I kind of zoned out when my doctor told me.
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Wisdom is realizing that DEVO was the coolest band of the 70's
November 22, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Wisdom is realizing that DEVO was the coolest band of the 70's
Wisdom is realizing that DEVO was the coolest band of the 70's
November 22, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Wisdom is realizing that DEVO was the coolest band of the 70's
Reposted by niteynite
You ever just sit down and realize that the rise of 21st century fascism is capital's answer to climate change?
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 AM
You ever just sit down and realize that the rise of 21st century fascism is capital's answer to climate change?
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Geopolitics is complicated.
November 21, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Geopolitics is complicated.
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hell yeah i’m a gamer
October 26, 2025 at 7:16 PM
hell yeah i’m a gamer
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I feel like if you encounter a vampire and they aren’t rich that improves your odds substantially. Bro is immortal but couldn’t figure out how to get compound interest to work in his favor, he’s not exactly a mastermind. Keep your wits about you and you’re probably fine.
April 12, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I feel like if you encounter a vampire and they aren’t rich that improves your odds substantially. Bro is immortal but couldn’t figure out how to get compound interest to work in his favor, he’s not exactly a mastermind. Keep your wits about you and you’re probably fine.
Reposted by niteynite
writing about stainless steel clad, cast iron, and carbon steel pans; pondering the impermanence of life vs. the indestructibility of a good alloy
November 18, 2025 at 1:51 PM
writing about stainless steel clad, cast iron, and carbon steel pans; pondering the impermanence of life vs. the indestructibility of a good alloy
Reposted by niteynite
everyone loves to picture the yeti, majestic, pure white fur framed against a brilliant blue sky as it stalks the frigid cliffs of a craggy mountain. well, I’m sorry to say that if you think about it for even one minute it’s obvious the big guy’s legs would be absolutely slathered in piss and shit
November 15, 2025 at 3:18 PM
everyone loves to picture the yeti, majestic, pure white fur framed against a brilliant blue sky as it stalks the frigid cliffs of a craggy mountain. well, I’m sorry to say that if you think about it for even one minute it’s obvious the big guy’s legs would be absolutely slathered in piss and shit
Reposted by niteynite
Teaching religion to kids can’t be too hard. Like listen kids, today we’re listening to Agent Orange’s Living In Darkness album in its entirety. Pay attention. Take notes.
November 17, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Teaching religion to kids can’t be too hard. Like listen kids, today we’re listening to Agent Orange’s Living In Darkness album in its entirety. Pay attention. Take notes.
Reposted by niteynite
i like when it’s cold out because it reveals who i always suspected was breathing out of their mouth
November 17, 2025 at 1:47 PM
i like when it’s cold out because it reveals who i always suspected was breathing out of their mouth
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We don't get to choose what people will remember about us after we die. Friends might recall a nice thing I did for them. Family might think of the times I made them smile. But if I could choose, I'd like to be remembered for all the really offensive things I've said to children.
November 13, 2025 at 6:07 AM
We don't get to choose what people will remember about us after we die. Friends might recall a nice thing I did for them. Family might think of the times I made them smile. But if I could choose, I'd like to be remembered for all the really offensive things I've said to children.
Reposted by niteynite
I hope the goth girl in my high school sex ed class who grabbed the banana during the condom demonstration and slowly squished it while making eye contact with our teacher is doing okay
November 14, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I hope the goth girl in my high school sex ed class who grabbed the banana during the condom demonstration and slowly squished it while making eye contact with our teacher is doing okay
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I'm going to hand this jar of capers down to my son
November 13, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I'm going to hand this jar of capers down to my son
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me: she said she never managed to earn in prague as much as her east german grandmother's pension
my mom: and what did this german grandmother do during-
me: oh please don't start
my mom: and what did this german grandmother do during-
me: oh please don't start
November 14, 2025 at 6:09 PM
me: she said she never managed to earn in prague as much as her east german grandmother's pension
my mom: and what did this german grandmother do during-
me: oh please don't start
my mom: and what did this german grandmother do during-
me: oh please don't start
Reposted by niteynite
Sometimes when I feel blue I watch Ryen Gosling interviews on YouTube and pretend he's my buddy who made it big
November 14, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Sometimes when I feel blue I watch Ryen Gosling interviews on YouTube and pretend he's my buddy who made it big