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Andreya

@andreyasasylum.bsky.social

3.3K followers 2.3K following 1.4K posts

Cat lady. Lesbian. Not your señorita. Enter at your own risk: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabdhdjbnqpa

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Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · Jul 25

Talk to your doctor to see if shutting the fuck up is right for you.

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 19h

if you would, just put me back where you found me when you’re done, thanks

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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 22h

what if all the apples are bad apples

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Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · 19h

Because the news is now absolutely worthless.

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Kelly @broadwaybabyto.bsky.social · 20h

Yes your taxes should support disabled people.

They should support homeless people.

They should support those living in poverty, children and the elderly.

This is literally the purpose of taxes, and I would far rather support those who need it than continue to enrich the elite.

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 22h

okay my boobs got a job [minimum wage] what other body part can i put to work

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 3d

i blame male loneliness on the invention of 12-ft skeletons. how are we supposed to compete with that

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 6d

I don't have a dog, so I have to do all of my barking at the mailman myself.

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · Nov 5

Sorry I said something stupid and blamed it on an old Hot Pocket injury.

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 20h

I'm trying to get on a weight loss plan, but I can't decide if I want to go with meth or a tapeworm.

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👻Violet👻Haunting👻(Jellybean Socrates) @violetmusing.bsky.social · 20h

What if Santa Claus didn't have a team of reindeer dragging his sleigh around? What if he had gigantic turkeys?!

a herd of turkeys are walking down the road

Alt: a herd of turkeys are walking down the road

media.tenor.com

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Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · Aug 8

Odd, how South Park is covering Kristi Noem and her ICE hooligans more accurately than The New York Times.

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Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · 19h

Biden was everyone’s president. Trump is no one’s.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 21h

Aligning frequencies must be a sign that paths are converging, it's pretty obvious right because I don't want to tell my new car it'll know when it meets the ONE and not to confuse it with parking perfectly

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 2d

Happy Columbia 12 CDs for a Penny Day!

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 3d

Today was feeling a little better, but then my cat took a big shit in the middle of the laundry room. The balance has been maintained

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 1d

It's always midnight somewhere

Stand in a grocery shop's fresh produce aisle. At the top is a spooky-themed sign saying "When the night falls, the fun begins" in orange lettering.
Below are three neat shelves of fresh bananas.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

These fridge magnets spell trouble.

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Jax @ehhjax.bsky.social · 1d

Time keeps on slippin', into the future

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 1d

My thought bubble is a question mark.

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DancingTreeMama @dancingtreemama.bsky.social · 1d

Don’t tell me music doesn’t give you superpowers.

One time I listened to Beyoncé’s “Don’t Hurt Yourself” on repeat for four hours straight and it gave me the ability to body check a dude who purposely moved to block the sidewalk when he saw me coming.

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Westie Dad @oldpueblocyclist.bsky.social · 2d

I just realized that it was 2 years ago today that Tippi came to live with us. Seems hard to believe! That first few months of puppydom 🐾 and teeth weren’t easy, but she really has grown into a great #westie family member 😀 We’ve had alot of dogs but Westies are different. #dogsofbluesky

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BooSlice👻🔪 @twosense.bsky.social · 1d

My life needs a jump to recipe button.

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 1d

I will not hesitate to wash my whole car with the gas station squeegee.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

Do you love me, now that I can dance? I've been going back and asking this of all my big unrequited situations and the overwhelming response was [free jazz]

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