chris
@fae-imposter.bsky.social
not the brightest knife in the crayon box; i like pets, books, and puppets; i do not want to see any of you naked
Pinned
Reposted by chris
NEW DEOGIE HERE! tinyview.com/deogie/2026/...
January 14, 2026 at 9:27 PM
NEW DEOGIE HERE! tinyview.com/deogie/2026/...
Reposted by chris
Lol it's because they found out that 42% of the people who buy them have no idea they're made of potatoes 🫠
Lay's drastically rebrands after disturbing finding: 42% of consumers didn't know their chips were made out of potatoes | Fortune
New bags—matte-ified and designed to look like wood planks (like a potato crate)—will hold the chips with revamped ingredient lists.
fortune.com
January 14, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Lol it's because they found out that 42% of the people who buy them have no idea they're made of potatoes 🫠
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This was not where I expected it to come from lol
January 14, 2026 at 8:53 PM
This was not where I expected it to come from lol
Reposted by chris
Ngl if I was on a jury I would acquit most any person who shot an ICE agent approaching them with menace it’s quite clear they represent an imminent threat to all citizens.
January 14, 2026 at 8:45 PM
Ngl if I was on a jury I would acquit most any person who shot an ICE agent approaching them with menace it’s quite clear they represent an imminent threat to all citizens.
Reposted by chris
I've posted this before, but relevant to this comment.
January 14, 2026 at 6:33 PM
I've posted this before, but relevant to this comment.
Reposted by chris
Minnesota legend Charles M. Schulz knew what made a great citizen. “Sometimes it is the very people who cry out the loudest in favor of getting back to what they call ‘American Virtues’ who lack this faith in our country.”
January 14, 2026 at 7:55 AM
Minnesota legend Charles M. Schulz knew what made a great citizen. “Sometimes it is the very people who cry out the loudest in favor of getting back to what they call ‘American Virtues’ who lack this faith in our country.”
Reposted by chris
Quick survey:
How old are you, and do you get this joke?
How old are you, and do you get this joke?
January 14, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Quick survey:
How old are you, and do you get this joke?
How old are you, and do you get this joke?
Reposted by chris
There’s an old episode of We Hate Movies that talks about how the Mortal Kombat theme song is the best song ever in a movie because it starts off by screaming the name of the movie
January 14, 2026 at 4:54 PM
There’s an old episode of We Hate Movies that talks about how the Mortal Kombat theme song is the best song ever in a movie because it starts off by screaming the name of the movie
Reposted by chris
Reposted by chris
Today I found out the LOTR films are 25 years old and crumbled into dust.
January 14, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Today I found out the LOTR films are 25 years old and crumbled into dust.
Reposted by chris
I’m giving the squirrels a break today. They’re inside making sandwiches while I dart back and forth in front of traffic
January 14, 2026 at 4:11 PM
I’m giving the squirrels a break today. They’re inside making sandwiches while I dart back and forth in front of traffic
Reposted by chris
Reposted by chris
TODAY'S COMIC: Humans are weird...
January 14, 2026 at 4:03 PM
TODAY'S COMIC: Humans are weird...
Reposted by chris
just found out the BRITS are at it again, calling onion or tomato jams "marmalade" all willy-nilly
look all i'll say about that is if paddington bear asked for marmalade and you gave him onion jam he'd be fucking pissed
look all i'll say about that is if paddington bear asked for marmalade and you gave him onion jam he'd be fucking pissed
January 14, 2026 at 3:52 PM
just found out the BRITS are at it again, calling onion or tomato jams "marmalade" all willy-nilly
look all i'll say about that is if paddington bear asked for marmalade and you gave him onion jam he'd be fucking pissed
look all i'll say about that is if paddington bear asked for marmalade and you gave him onion jam he'd be fucking pissed
Reposted by chris
I can't tell if I'm sick with whatever is going around or just generally exhausted from life
January 14, 2026 at 3:27 PM
I can't tell if I'm sick with whatever is going around or just generally exhausted from life
Reposted by chris
scott adams accepting jesus christ at the last minute, saying he looks forward to spending eternity with him, opening his eyes and learning that jesus is black
January 14, 2026 at 4:02 AM
scott adams accepting jesus christ at the last minute, saying he looks forward to spending eternity with him, opening his eyes and learning that jesus is black
Reposted by chris
"Come on in, the water is beautiful & your autism will be cured," says Robert Kennedy Jr, as he swims with his family in a sewage plant. It is at this point that I see a tiny worm swimming frantically to shore. "I quit!" says the worm. "I'm finding another brain. This guy is nuts enough without me."
January 14, 2026 at 9:13 AM
"Come on in, the water is beautiful & your autism will be cured," says Robert Kennedy Jr, as he swims with his family in a sewage plant. It is at this point that I see a tiny worm swimming frantically to shore. "I quit!" says the worm. "I'm finding another brain. This guy is nuts enough without me."
Reposted by chris
Reposted by chris
posting margot photos from the archives, for morale
January 14, 2026 at 12:47 AM
posting margot photos from the archives, for morale
Reposted by chris
I do low-key love that this next phase of American life is just gonna be sponsored by "alcohol"
New: CBS News seems to be preparing a new segment called "Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil," per sources.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
January 14, 2026 at 6:24 AM
I do low-key love that this next phase of American life is just gonna be sponsored by "alcohol"
Reposted by chris
In the Dilbert universe conspiracy theorists correctly assert that the cartoon president killed Dilbert and replaced him with his doppelganger who has a mouth
January 14, 2026 at 5:02 AM
In the Dilbert universe conspiracy theorists correctly assert that the cartoon president killed Dilbert and replaced him with his doppelganger who has a mouth
Reposted by chris
Today is a great reminder that we can never be too ready.
January 13, 2026 at 5:06 PM
Today is a great reminder that we can never be too ready.
Reposted by chris
thanks caller i.d. for “useful” information as opposed to maybe: cow
January 13, 2026 at 10:18 PM
thanks caller i.d. for “useful” information as opposed to maybe: cow
Reposted by chris
Reposted by chris
getting flipped off by the president is now a higher honor than a nobel prize. it’s only a matter of time before he flips himself off
January 14, 2026 at 3:26 AM
getting flipped off by the president is now a higher honor than a nobel prize. it’s only a matter of time before he flips himself off