Chris' RacCoons
@chrisraccoons.bsky.social
We're a gaze (hence they/them) of shitposting raccoons originally on Twitter to mock Chris Coons. #AnimalCaucus.
Our jokes are meant to amuse us, but they COULD amuse you, too. Who can say?
If you recognize us, no you don't (please).
Our jokes are meant to amuse us, but they COULD amuse you, too. Who can say?
If you recognize us, no you don't (please).
Pinned
Regarding follows:
If you're following us, we hope it's because you enjoy what we post! Welcome! If you're not enjoying it, no worries about unfollowing.
We follow people whose interactions we enjoy, so have fun! We do sometimes unfollow to protect mental health; please don't take it personally
If you're following us, we hope it's because you enjoy what we post! Welcome! If you're not enjoying it, no worries about unfollowing.
We follow people whose interactions we enjoy, so have fun! We do sometimes unfollow to protect mental health; please don't take it personally
Cocaine so white it couldn't help itself from singing along to Sweet Caroline. (Bum bum bum)
Cocaine so white it started playing Mr brightside
cocaine so white it sends its kids to private schools
December 4, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Cocaine so white it couldn't help itself from singing along to Sweet Caroline. (Bum bum bum)
Reposted by Chris' RacCoons
7 deadly sins as raccoons
First off is pride
First off is pride
December 4, 2025 at 1:55 AM
7 deadly sins as raccoons
First off is pride
First off is pride
Ok, look....
Raccoon gets drunk at a Virginia liquor store and passes out in bathroom
Raccoon gets drunk at Ashland ABC store and passes out in bathroom
Talk about a trashed panda.
www.axios.com
December 2, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Ok, look....
And on the way back to the airport to head home.
Well, got back in town yesterday afternoon, so of course it's time to leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a work trip. At least we're back on Tuesday
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
December 2, 2025 at 11:39 AM
And on the way back to the airport to head home.
@profanity.accountant we're here you fuckaas bitch (complimentary)
December 2, 2025 at 10:50 AM
@profanity.accountant we're here you fuckaas bitch (complimentary)
Well, got back in town yesterday afternoon, so of course it's time to leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a work trip. At least we're back on Tuesday
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
December 1, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Well, got back in town yesterday afternoon, so of course it's time to leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a work trip. At least we're back on Tuesday
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
Is this what @floregonian.com's life is like?
We had a dream that @annazand.bsky.social was guest-hosting Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!, which seemed odd but cool. We never got to actually hear the episode.
November 30, 2025 at 12:03 PM
We had a dream that @annazand.bsky.social was guest-hosting Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!, which seemed odd but cool. We never got to actually hear the episode.
Reposted by Chris' RacCoons
by viewing this post, your cache has downloaded the accompanying image and thus constitutes the possession of an image of strangulation. this is a crime under uk law.
repost to be guilty of publishing an image of strangulation and make your friends guilty of possession too! 🤗
repost to be guilty of publishing an image of strangulation and make your friends guilty of possession too! 🤗
November 4, 2025 at 2:44 PM
by viewing this post, your cache has downloaded the accompanying image and thus constitutes the possession of an image of strangulation. this is a crime under uk law.
repost to be guilty of publishing an image of strangulation and make your friends guilty of possession too! 🤗
repost to be guilty of publishing an image of strangulation and make your friends guilty of possession too! 🤗
Ezra is too damned cute tonight
November 30, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Ezra is too damned cute tonight
Actual footage of us
November 30, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Actual footage of us
Saw an old friend today, but tomorrow morning we return to regular life.
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Saw an old friend today, but tomorrow morning we return to regular life.
Oyster garage was open and they were delicious. 🤤🦪
We're about to get started before guests want to start their contributions.
My To Do:
Stuffing
Mashed potatoes
Roast chicken
Gravy
Their To Do:
Sticky rice stuffing
Green bean casserole
Possible: see if the self-service oyster place is open.
My To Do:
Stuffing
Mashed potatoes
Roast chicken
Gravy
Their To Do:
Sticky rice stuffing
Green bean casserole
Possible: see if the self-service oyster place is open.
November 28, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Oyster garage was open and they were delicious. 🤤🦪
We love that the artist caught our good side. Just kidding - we look good from every angle
November 24, 2025 at 12:32 PM
We love that the artist caught our good side. Just kidding - we look good from every angle
So based on the comments, we bought a pack this time and it's actually pretty good? And tastes a bit like Ricola, but as a good thing?
November 23, 2025 at 12:42 PM
So based on the comments, we bought a pack this time and it's actually pretty good? And tastes a bit like Ricola, but as a good thing?
We're really starting to develop some FONMO
Maybe some healthy FONMO
November 23, 2025 at 2:17 AM
We're really starting to develop some FONMO
That's one (semi-joke) Xmas gift down....
November 22, 2025 at 10:03 PM
That's one (semi-joke) Xmas gift down....
We heard she slept with RFK Sr and is actually RFK Jr's mother, making the horrors even more unfathomable
Ryan Lizza confirms that Olivia Nuzzi slept with LBJ
November 22, 2025 at 2:56 PM
We heard she slept with RFK Sr and is actually RFK Jr's mother, making the horrors even more unfathomable
Decided to shut the music on final approach because "Knocking on Heaven's Door" didn't feel good for landing.
Not a terrible day to fly.... And loving the reupholstered seats!
November 22, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Decided to shut the music on final approach because "Knocking on Heaven's Door" didn't feel good for landing.
For those of you who don't think capitalization matters: enjoy your MAGAzines. 🙄
November 22, 2025 at 5:16 AM
For those of you who don't think capitalization matters: enjoy your MAGAzines. 🙄
Not a terrible day to fly.... And loving the reupholstered seats!
November 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Not a terrible day to fly.... And loving the reupholstered seats!
Reposted by Chris' RacCoons
do you believe in ghosts or are you like me, a person who finds themself saying all the time “I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts, but this place has ghosts.”
November 19, 2025 at 5:24 AM
do you believe in ghosts or are you like me, a person who finds themself saying all the time “I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts, but this place has ghosts.”
Someone drew a portrait of us?!??
Upon a casual request from a new acquaintance I drew three raccoons in a trench coat. The meme or whatever was recently explained to me. Made this a couple days ago I think, day's go by so fast the older I get.🫠
#art #traditionalart #pencilart
#art #traditionalart #pencilart
November 19, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Someone drew a portrait of us?!??
Reposted by Chris' RacCoons
Who wore it better? (Knitpicks catalog)
November 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Who wore it better? (Knitpicks catalog)
Reposted by Chris' RacCoons
Hey, since Patton Oswalt was reinstated, maybe Bluesky moderation can reinstate someone who was banned for doing the exact same thing.
November 18, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Hey, since Patton Oswalt was reinstated, maybe Bluesky moderation can reinstate someone who was banned for doing the exact same thing.
Who wore it better? (Knitpicks catalog)
November 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Who wore it better? (Knitpicks catalog)