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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 8h

Me: [*explaining that, technically, the Christian god is both a motherfucker AND a bastard*]

Youth pastor: “How old did you say you were?”

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Mindy Furano @mindyfurano.bsky.social · 11h

temu’s got your back

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Americans for Tax Fairness @4taxfairness.bsky.social · 19h

If we don't get the ACA healthcare subsidies restored in a government funding agreement now, we'll never get them.

Millions of people will see their premiums double—all because Republicans gave billionaires tax breaks instead of giving us our healthcare.

Hold the line.

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eli yudin @eliyudin.com · 19h

Streaming the new Silent Hill tonight at 6 eastern and i actually WON'T be getting scared because of my high testosterone among other things www.twitch.tv/pig_dog

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𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒚 grace @acab4cutie.top · 19h

this did not get nearly enough appreciation for how funny it was when i posted it as a youtube video so i’m uploading it directly. “I AM DYING FROM YOUR STINKY TOUCH” 🐍

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Orpheus Condescending @maryscottoconnor.com · 19h

I just cleaned out my desk. It's been a while. I feel really good about it.

So anyway - if anybody out there wants 300 free hours of AOL I can totally hook you up.

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 1d

i 100% thought those were my cats lmao, they would sleep like that all the time

white and orange cat (Ford) snuggling up against black and grey cat (Bubbles)

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mental health pixelslop @lewmo.bsky.social · 1d

good afternoon

an orange and white cat is cuddled by a brown tabby cat

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

I'm pretty easy to take care of, just milk my venom glands and know that I never use double entendres I'm actually triple giving with poisonous single entendres

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🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 1d

If you pull my tampon string I talk

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Memento (Spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 1d

I'll find you in every lifetime (menacing)

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 1d

I think I just saw Sports Marshmallows at the supermarket. Fitness marshmallows, the marshmallows you eat to get strong

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Cullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 1d

if you watch our upcoming show strip law i promise there is not a single scene where a character looks at themselves in the mirror and says "you got this"

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john granule @bogbird.bsky.social · 1d

if social media went away i’d write all this stuff on the walls of public bathrooms

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Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 1d

If you're wondering whether or not to get a flu shot, I didn't get one in time, and I just had a fever dream where I was in the Drew Carey Show because several days ago I was on the Wikipedia page for the Drew Carey Show. You don't have to do this to yourself.