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Mr. Silky

@mrsilkydmv.bsky.social

2.2K followers 720 following 920 posts

Husband. Father. Dog owner. Not the very model of a modern major anything. Stuffs I said ➡️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qohwmxw4z6b7nsd7ezoerrbw/feed/aaab3jnvthkbg

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Mr. Silky @mrsilkydmv.bsky.social · 14d

Baseball announcer 1: And the batter pees one into shallow left field.

Baseball announcer 2: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, DAVE, PEE AND SQUIRT ARE NOT THE SAME THING!

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 1h

i need 7 more followers for ocd reasojs

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 9d

[Blind Date]

Her: "I'm sorry but you don't really look like your profile picture"

Incredible Hulk: "Oh yeah?! Well, the traffic getting here was a nightmare"

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Mr. Silky @mrsilkydmv.bsky.social · 3h

Sure, shitting your pants in public is embarrassing but have you ever gone back and looked at what you posted on Facebook in 2009.

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RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 15h

DNR > snooze button

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 13h

Hey boy, are you a tree cuz I wanna climb you and feel your wood.

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 10h

Reason 101.. Why I'm late. Couldn't decide if my shirt was navy blue or black.

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 2d

Gonna use that stupid AI movie generator thing to put Marilyn Monroe in Titanic. She plays the iceberg.

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 1d

Nearly fell asleep sat at my desk. Absolutely crushing this Wednesday, guys.

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 20h

Awake And Mad About It: A Memoir

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 12h

Nausea! At The Office

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 3h

Look, you simply cannot expect me to maintain executive function while *gestures at everything* THIS is happening.

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lumberjack wharfie @lumberjackwharfie.bsky.social · 3h

Real Housewives of Bsky Dot App

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 3h

what do you mean it’s $4 to add fries? are we talking about the same thing that barely got ireland through a famine?

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𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 3h

idk about that guy hes always too
excited to give his grandpa a bath

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lumberjack wharfie @lumberjackwharfie.bsky.social · 3h

asking my butler to pull up old celebrity tweets like they're vintage wine, like "I'll have a 2011 Shaquille"

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Shenanigans @shenanigans.bsky.social · 3h

They should invent a social media platform that isn't evil

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 7h

I’ve been walking around the office with a piece of paper for so long, no one here realizes it’s all I do

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 2d

Dysfunctional families.... the gift that keeps on giving.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 4h

Me: Do you think Mr. Potato Head’s wife knew he had no legs or was she surprised when he took his shoes off?

Therapist: [5 minutes into my session] I’m sorry, our time is up

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Nappy DOOMlemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 8h

I'm gonna fix everything with margaritas with queso. Successfully.

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Mr. Silky @mrsilkydmv.bsky.social · 8h

[at dinner party]

Me: What do you do?

Guest in cowboy hat: I own ranches.

Me, trying to impress: Ah yes. I too own many salad dressings but I meant what do you do for a living.

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𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 2d

i just want a bodybuilder
to have their whey with me

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 2d

Every jackal has its day.

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · Aug 21

The meek no longer want the earth thanks.

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 2d

Two weeks until the clocks go back. Never liked them anyway.

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