Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Pumpkin Escobar

@kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social

6.6K followers 660 following 5.7K posts

Don't these times, fill your eyes When the streets are cold and lonely And the cars, they burn below me Are you all alone Are you made of stone Brown/Squire https://bsky.app/profile/kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social/search

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 11

Linkedin be like someone in the human trafficking industry viewed your profile unlock premium to see how much danger you're in.

17 67

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · May 18

If you’ve seen a panda at the zoo, you’ve seen my best sex moves.

5 58 110

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · May 17

They should invent news for happy thiings

17 41 220

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Dec 27

I hate it when I walk into a hotel in California and forget why I came in and then try to leave, but no. No sir.

29 110 570

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · May 13

sorry I haven’t been online lately I’ve been trying to pull up my yoga pants

4 34 140

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

I'mWinters✂️SerialMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · May 16

Even the men here think the men here are morons

53 69 320

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

show me your kitties @frickinferal.bsky.social · May 18

Idk but maybe when the Ambien is kicking in isn’t the best time to be making decisions. Or maybe it is?!

4 11 36

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 18

🏆

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · May 17

Life is so much easier in theory than in practice.

1 57 120

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 18

I love summer.

2 4 18

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

John Cusack @johncusack.bsky.social · May 18

150 2.4K 10K

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 18

remember to recycle your feelings. for the planet.

2 29 62

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · May 16

this is your reminder to lift your leg and give that baby a gentle shake to wake it we ain’t tryna fall over in the employee bathroom today

2 12 61

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · May 16

Eating this potato will Heal Me

9 22 150

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 18

I knew you'd know.

Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · May 18

who was this Toby character and what beef did Hamlet have with him exactly
this might be the worst tweet ever written, but here we are.

3 5 18

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · May 17

One day you’re young and the next thing you know, you’d rather have dinner at 4:30pm than risk waiting 15 minutes for a table.

2 57 240

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · May 17

watching my bright whites progressively fade to grey and pretending it isn't a metaphor for my life

5 25 65

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

andy vs. @im-all-id.me · May 17

One of those monthly subscription boxes but for undetectable poisons

8 95 390

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · May 16

It’s Friday I’m in love with improved lumbar support

1 24 71

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · May 18

binge watching my dogs until further notice

17 180 710

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · May 17

Reconsider your friends if you wouldn’t want them on your team during a zombie apocalypse

1 27 81

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · May 17

Face down, ass up, baby.

We're gonna win this wheelbarrow race.

3 65 170

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · May 17

I can’t take you seriously if you take yourself too seriously.

3 52 120

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · May 17

Regret. It's what's for breakfast.

2 23 64

Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar

Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · May 17

fun first date idea: trust falls from a busy overpass

1 29 56