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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı

@identityxcrisis.bsky.social

2.6K followers 350 following 1.9K posts

Please don’t parade on my rain. he/it/bag of dirty sox This: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3xltmu6kff5zmcjmagis2ai4/feed/aaadzpayqri3g <see “Feeds” for more options> That: https://linktr.ee/identityXcrisis {avi/pfp: rubber duck on asphalt}

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Jun 15

Inspirational Speaker: People should always have an open heart.

Jason Voorhees: *pulls out knife* On it.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 1d

The funny thing is that the person this was about is long gone (after spending a fair amount of time in the top 10 most blocked users list).

But don’t think I don’t see the rest of you 👀 you’re on thin ice.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Jun 5

I talked to David Lynch before he died and he said all the “I talked to David Lynch before he died” jokes should have been posted on Bluesky instead.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Nov 29

Them *preparing to throw hands*

Me: Hey. Don’t litter.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Aug 27

Imagine being

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 1d

I don't normally ask much of my followers but I need you all to come to my house and build a monolith in the garden

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

I'm pretty easy to take care of, just milk my venom glands and know that I never use double entendres I'm actually triple giving with poisonous single entendres

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

i come on here and say stupid stuff bc everything is stupid including me

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 1d

What is wrong with us

5:15

images that will
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images that will

images that will make you sleepy
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images that will make you throw up

images that will make you hungry

images that will make you cry

images that will break your brain

images that will make you poop
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images that will give you nightmares

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bloody bacon popsicle ☠️ @gupton68.bsky.social · 1d

I solve most of my problems by just ignoring them as I know that eventually they'll get bored and go ask their mum instead.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 1d

My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.

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big al (scary) 🎃🦇 @bigmood.bsky.social · 1d

fuck you AND the horse you rode in on AND the ecosystem it came from AND the planet

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

Please make your replies more sequitur.

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 1d

considering having a bad opinion

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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 1d

My ears are ringing (but I’m not taking calls)

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Sentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 1d

If your super hero team is seriously over budget, you can probably safely let Aqua Man, that bird woman and the Wonder Twins go. Times are tough for everyone.

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Bloody Mary (mirror entity, not cocktail) @marygillis.bsky.social · Mar 23

*puzzle enthusiast solves Lament Configuration*
*Pinhead appears*
PINHEAD: We have such sights to show you-
PUZZLE ENTHUSIAST: More puzzles? *gets really close to Pinhead* This was a great puzzle.
PINHEAD: uh-
PE: You even look like a puzzle. *gets even closer* Do you like puzzles?
PINHEAD: uh-

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Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 1d

Only God and grossly misinformed social media accounts can judge me now.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Sep 3

Ghost Host: This chamber has no windows and no doors - which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out. *sinister laugh* Of course, there’s always my way.

Kirk: Ugh, this guy's annoying. *communicator chirp* Scotty, get me out of here.

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 3d

Just made a lot of minestrone, a maxestrone in fact.

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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry I missed Canadian thanksgiving again. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, sorry.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

Every morning "So what do you want out of today" just to feel okay sometimes, for having my eyes open "When do we want it? Now" no this isn't one of those "Great because now is only when you blink" it's a waking dream is it "Yep" okay cool

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ceej @ceej.online · 2d

caught my vampire neighbor creeping through my front door. he claims my saying “for sure dude, we should definitely hang out sometime” the other night counts as an invitation, but I disagree. we’re on hold with the etiquette hotline

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 2d

look i may well shake out half a tub of grated parmesan onto my plate of pasta but i always do so through the little holes and not the giant spoon hole because i'm a lady with manners dammit

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · Aug 8

When a chair hits your eye flung by some burly guy, you’re on Maury.

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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 10d

Life is short. Take the cannoli.

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