sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
@identityxcrisis.bsky.social
Please don’t parade on my rain.
he/it/bag of dirty sox
This: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3xltmu6kff5zmcjmagis2ai4/feed/aaadzpayqri3g
<see “Feeds” for more options>
That: https://linktr.ee/identityXcrisis
{avi/pfp: rubber duck on asphalt}
he/it/bag of dirty sox
This: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3xltmu6kff5zmcjmagis2ai4/feed/aaadzpayqri3g
<see “Feeds” for more options>
That: https://linktr.ee/identityXcrisis
{avi/pfp: rubber duck on asphalt}
Pinned
Santa: 🎶For a minute there, I lost my elf, I lost my elf.🎶
Donner: He's right behind you, loading the sleigh.
Mrs. Claus: He's drunk again, three guesses whose fault this is.
Dasher: Damn it, Blitzen!
Donner: He's right behind you, loading the sleigh.
Mrs. Claus: He's drunk again, three guesses whose fault this is.
Dasher: Damn it, Blitzen!
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Some bees don't even appreciate their own knees cos body dysmorphia
November 22, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Some bees don't even appreciate their own knees cos body dysmorphia
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
retail workers should be allowed to carry knives today
November 28, 2025 at 1:12 PM
retail workers should be allowed to carry knives today
🌲🧵👇
Santa: 🎶For a minute there, I lost my elf, I lost my elf.🎶
Donner: He's right behind you, loading the sleigh.
Mrs. Claus: He's drunk again, three guesses whose fault this is.
Dasher: Damn it, Blitzen!
Donner: He's right behind you, loading the sleigh.
Mrs. Claus: He's drunk again, three guesses whose fault this is.
Dasher: Damn it, Blitzen!
November 28, 2025 at 12:43 PM
🌲🧵👇
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
wife: why can’t you be more spontaneous?
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
November 26, 2025 at 2:08 PM
wife: why can’t you be more spontaneous?
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
By the way I gave my writers and production team the day off to spend with their families so it’s just me spewing this nonsense today
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
By the way I gave my writers and production team the day off to spend with their families so it’s just me spewing this nonsense today
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
you’ll shoot your eye out, Charlie Brown
November 28, 2025 at 2:50 AM
you’ll shoot your eye out, Charlie Brown
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Wait, so 80% of twitter turns out to be bots and Multiple intelligence agencies trying to stir public opinion?!! How shocking!!!! 🙀
November 24, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Wait, so 80% of twitter turns out to be bots and Multiple intelligence agencies trying to stir public opinion?!! How shocking!!!! 🙀
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
(After winning the politics argument portion of Thanksgiving) and another thing: Gandalf was way too hard on Pippin!
November 28, 2025 at 4:38 AM
(After winning the politics argument portion of Thanksgiving) and another thing: Gandalf was way too hard on Pippin!
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
thankful for every last one of you raggamuffins*
*terms and conditions apply. please visit www dot thankful for you raggamuffins dot com for details
*terms and conditions apply. please visit www dot thankful for you raggamuffins dot com for details
November 28, 2025 at 4:58 AM
thankful for every last one of you raggamuffins*
*terms and conditions apply. please visit www dot thankful for you raggamuffins dot com for details
*terms and conditions apply. please visit www dot thankful for you raggamuffins dot com for details
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
The existence of Thanksgiving day implies the opposite existence of F-youreceiving day💕❤️✨
November 28, 2025 at 7:05 AM
The existence of Thanksgiving day implies the opposite existence of F-youreceiving day💕❤️✨
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Imagine there's no Heaven. The impact on harp sales alone.
November 28, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Imagine there's no Heaven. The impact on harp sales alone.
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
If you see me giving out high-fives, it means I’ve remembered not to say something stupid
November 28, 2025 at 5:51 AM
If you see me giving out high-fives, it means I’ve remembered not to say something stupid
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
She blinded me with science.
*pepper spray
*pepper spray
November 28, 2025 at 5:57 AM
She blinded me with science.
*pepper spray
*pepper spray
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Do yall wanna hear a crazy Thanksgiving story? I went to this lady’s restaurant, helped her take a bunch of trash to the dump, and ended up getting arrested for littering. But it actually kept me from getting sent overseas to die in a pointless war.
November 27, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Do yall wanna hear a crazy Thanksgiving story? I went to this lady’s restaurant, helped her take a bunch of trash to the dump, and ended up getting arrested for littering. But it actually kept me from getting sent overseas to die in a pointless war.
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
too much energy? thats a black hole
too much mass? uh huh black hole
my attitude? super massive black hole
too much mass? uh huh black hole
my attitude? super massive black hole
November 28, 2025 at 6:22 AM
too much energy? thats a black hole
too much mass? uh huh black hole
my attitude? super massive black hole
too much mass? uh huh black hole
my attitude? super massive black hole
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
me: do you have any black friday deals?
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
November 28, 2025 at 6:32 AM
me: do you have any black friday deals?
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
it’s that time again…about to have a magnesium salt bath that will change my entire life. this is the one this time.
November 26, 2025 at 1:26 AM
it’s that time again…about to have a magnesium salt bath that will change my entire life. this is the one this time.
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
the concept of portion control was created when someone inadvertently witnessed me devouring a salad
follow me for more questionable facts that have absolutely no basis in reality
follow me for more questionable facts that have absolutely no basis in reality
November 28, 2025 at 6:58 AM
the concept of portion control was created when someone inadvertently witnessed me devouring a salad
follow me for more questionable facts that have absolutely no basis in reality
follow me for more questionable facts that have absolutely no basis in reality
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
maybe xenomorphs just wanna have fun
November 28, 2025 at 1:11 AM
maybe xenomorphs just wanna have fun
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
no I'm not "posting through it." it's posting through me
November 28, 2025 at 4:04 AM
no I'm not "posting through it." it's posting through me
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
no one:
absolutely no one:
not a single soul in this earth:
me: [whispering] im sorry
absolutely no one:
not a single soul in this earth:
me: [whispering] im sorry
November 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM
no one:
absolutely no one:
not a single soul in this earth:
me: [whispering] im sorry
absolutely no one:
not a single soul in this earth:
me: [whispering] im sorry