Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me
Pinned
Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
me farting right before I like and repost
a woman wearing glasses is sitting at a table with a laptop and a tablet .
ALT: a woman wearing glasses is sitting at a table with a laptop and a tablet .
media.tenor.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:07 PM
me farting right before I like and repost
Is it just me or does chicken have way too much water in it lately?
December 12, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Is it just me or does chicken have way too much water in it lately?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
nobody fuckin cares that you went to elementary school, Watson
December 12, 2025 at 12:04 PM
nobody fuckin cares that you went to elementary school, Watson
Don't mind me, I'll take residence in your dreams
December 12, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Don't mind me, I'll take residence in your dreams
Reposted by Carrion Sam
The fact that the Clean Your Room fascist is dying from an illness one specifically gets from living in damp mouldy filthy buildings is next level poetic irony.
December 12, 2025 at 12:29 AM
The fact that the Clean Your Room fascist is dying from an illness one specifically gets from living in damp mouldy filthy buildings is next level poetic irony.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Time is owned by Marc Benioff, the CEO of Salesforce, which is currently trying to sell its AI tool to ICE in order to triple their recruitment. just a thing I think about sometimes while I’m at work, implementing his product for nonprofits.
Time Magazine puts the "architects of AI" on its Person of the Year cover time.com/7339685/pers...
December 11, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Time is owned by Marc Benioff, the CEO of Salesforce, which is currently trying to sell its AI tool to ICE in order to triple their recruitment. just a thing I think about sometimes while I’m at work, implementing his product for nonprofits.
Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies pissed me off because instead of a squishy annoying throat clearing as described by Tolkien, Gollum spoke a very articulated "goooollluuuuuummm". There I said it. Fuck that shit. That was dumb.
December 11, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies pissed me off because instead of a squishy annoying throat clearing as described by Tolkien, Gollum spoke a very articulated "goooollluuuuuummm". There I said it. Fuck that shit. That was dumb.
Skipping the ad is not enough I want their significant others to anounce the marketing team they're leaving them for me
December 11, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Skipping the ad is not enough I want their significant others to anounce the marketing team they're leaving them for me
Reposted by Carrion Sam
If sexuality was a choice, then explain heterosexual women
November 19, 2025 at 3:12 AM
If sexuality was a choice, then explain heterosexual women
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Welcome to your 40s. Hope you like discovering new moles to stress over.
November 24, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Welcome to your 40s. Hope you like discovering new moles to stress over.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Accepting small amounts of attention, fooling myself they were feasts.
December 10, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Accepting small amounts of attention, fooling myself they were feasts.
Ah, yes, another interested woman to either reject outright or gently, preventively coax into being just friends.
I should just get off Facebook, all I want is their classifieds.
I should just get off Facebook, all I want is their classifieds.
December 10, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Ah, yes, another interested woman to either reject outright or gently, preventively coax into being just friends.
I should just get off Facebook, all I want is their classifieds.
I should just get off Facebook, all I want is their classifieds.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
My superpower is making everything harder than it has to be
December 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
My superpower is making everything harder than it has to be
I don't even wanna
December 10, 2025 at 2:12 PM
I don't even wanna
Do you mind if I roll you into a ball and plug my ears with your body?
December 10, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Do you mind if I roll you into a ball and plug my ears with your body?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
i used chatgpt to raise my baby and in their first year they tried to kill me eleven times
December 9, 2025 at 4:40 PM
i used chatgpt to raise my baby and in their first year they tried to kill me eleven times
Reposted by Carrion Sam
We assembled a kangaroo court and they voted unanimously for mushrooms and wild grasses.
December 9, 2025 at 5:57 AM
We assembled a kangaroo court and they voted unanimously for mushrooms and wild grasses.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
how come stalinism disproves socialism but hitlerism doesn't disprove capitalism
December 9, 2025 at 4:02 AM
how come stalinism disproves socialism but hitlerism doesn't disprove capitalism
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I say “I don’t care” an awful lot for someone that cares an awful lot.
December 9, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I say “I don’t care” an awful lot for someone that cares an awful lot.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Most of 2025 has been me muttering "I fucking hate it here" in various settings and contexts
December 7, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Most of 2025 has been me muttering "I fucking hate it here" in various settings and contexts
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Sorry, I meant to emit whimsy not radiation
December 9, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Sorry, I meant to emit whimsy not radiation
Reposted by Carrion Sam
no one would mess with me if they knew how many probiotics i have ingested
December 9, 2025 at 12:12 PM
no one would mess with me if they knew how many probiotics i have ingested
Reposted by Carrion Sam
intercourse is when you bring food into the bedroom
December 9, 2025 at 6:18 AM
intercourse is when you bring food into the bedroom
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Settle down, things that are "festive."
December 8, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Settle down, things that are "festive."