🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
@burritozen.net
Sentient Burrito in a constant state of existential crisis. Bangers https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6rqskq3g2
Pinned
You're in her DMs I'm chilling in your living room masturbating to pictures of Bea Arthur's elbows...also you're out of Doritos
Also an important list
December 13, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Also an important list
Apparently starter packs are cool on Saturday
December 13, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Apparently starter packs are cool on Saturday
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
[forrest gump]
ME: *interrupting* there’s actually a guide under the lid that shows what’s in each one
ME: *interrupting* there’s actually a guide under the lid that shows what’s in each one
December 13, 2025 at 11:05 PM
[forrest gump]
ME: *interrupting* there’s actually a guide under the lid that shows what’s in each one
ME: *interrupting* there’s actually a guide under the lid that shows what’s in each one
I've found Dave the Diver.
Help.
I'm hooked.
Lol hooked
Help.
I'm hooked.
Lol hooked
December 13, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I've found Dave the Diver.
Help.
I'm hooked.
Lol hooked
Help.
I'm hooked.
Lol hooked
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
Dame Judy Grinch would be a beautiful name for a baby girl.
December 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Dame Judy Grinch would be a beautiful name for a baby girl.
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
I made this for your mom.
December 13, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I made this for your mom.
Lol getting blocked for that last skeet is pretty fair.
I accept my block with pride
I accept my block with pride
December 13, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Lol getting blocked for that last skeet is pretty fair.
I accept my block with pride
I accept my block with pride
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
Hang on.... Gotta go check my 1 notif
December 12, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Hang on.... Gotta go check my 1 notif
You're in her DMs I'm chilling in your living room masturbating to pictures of Bea Arthur's elbows...also you're out of Doritos
December 13, 2025 at 12:07 AM
You're in her DMs I'm chilling in your living room masturbating to pictures of Bea Arthur's elbows...also you're out of Doritos
What actor's facial expression in a movie/TV show will stay with you for the rest of your life?
December 12, 2025 at 11:57 PM
What actor's facial expression in a movie/TV show will stay with you for the rest of your life?
I wonder how fat burritodog would be if we allowed her to eat as much as she wanted.
Literally fed her dinner...now she's eyeballing my pizza.
Silly doggo
Literally fed her dinner...now she's eyeballing my pizza.
Silly doggo
December 12, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I wonder how fat burritodog would be if we allowed her to eat as much as she wanted.
Literally fed her dinner...now she's eyeballing my pizza.
Silly doggo
Literally fed her dinner...now she's eyeballing my pizza.
Silly doggo
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
IRS Auditor: Says here you paid Ms. Sandy Urpine over $10,000 for “woodworking”?
Pinocchio: Yes, she worked on all the wood in this room *nose doesn’t move*
Pinocchio: Yes, she worked on all the wood in this room *nose doesn’t move*
December 12, 2025 at 6:49 PM
IRS Auditor: Says here you paid Ms. Sandy Urpine over $10,000 for “woodworking”?
Pinocchio: Yes, she worked on all the wood in this room *nose doesn’t move*
Pinocchio: Yes, she worked on all the wood in this room *nose doesn’t move*
Alexa, play Fingerblast Friday Megamix 20
*Safety Dance starts playing*
*Safety Dance starts playing*
December 12, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Alexa, play Fingerblast Friday Megamix 20
*Safety Dance starts playing*
*Safety Dance starts playing*
Oh thanks headache. I needed this right before a work meeting with an extremely dumb person
December 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Oh thanks headache. I needed this right before a work meeting with an extremely dumb person
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
Got cucked by my cat last night. Purrvert.
December 12, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Got cucked by my cat last night. Purrvert.
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
said he can only cum if i nail Killing in the Name perfectly, so naturally i whisper the ending.
December 12, 2025 at 4:38 PM
said he can only cum if i nail Killing in the Name perfectly, so naturally i whisper the ending.
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
Sorry if I liked your post an excessive number of times, there was hardened caramel drizzle on my phone screen that needed scraping
December 12, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Sorry if I liked your post an excessive number of times, there was hardened caramel drizzle on my phone screen that needed scraping
Good morning. I hope things are well.
How's your butthole?
How's your butthole?
December 12, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Good morning. I hope things are well.
How's your butthole?
How's your butthole?
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
I think the band Hole missed a fun credits opportunity by not putting out a song called Butt.
December 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I think the band Hole missed a fun credits opportunity by not putting out a song called Butt.
I don't wanna work.
December 12, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I don't wanna work.
Reposted by 🌯🎄Burritoclaus🎄🌯
replicator pls make me some bacon
December 12, 2025 at 1:44 PM
replicator pls make me some bacon