BeTheCookie
@bethecookie.bsky.social
Possibly not a cookie, but definitely a Cookie
Pinned
BeTheCookie
@bethecookie.bsky.social
· Mar 26
You (boorish, uneducated): I see a woodchuck.
Me (refined, erudite): Ah yes, a forestcharles.
Me (refined, erudite): Ah yes, a forestcharles.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Someone you once saw perform as an opening act is now being referred to as legendary.
December 6, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Someone you once saw perform as an opening act is now being referred to as legendary.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Can't believe I didn't get a single notification in the one hour I wasn't looking at my phone overnight.
December 6, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Can't believe I didn't get a single notification in the one hour I wasn't looking at my phone overnight.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning
December 6, 2025 at 1:09 PM
He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning
Reposted by BeTheCookie
hey can you hold this for me real quick?
*hands you ancient relic that will haunt your family for 6 generations*
*hands you ancient relic that will haunt your family for 6 generations*
December 6, 2025 at 4:18 AM
hey can you hold this for me real quick?
*hands you ancient relic that will haunt your family for 6 generations*
*hands you ancient relic that will haunt your family for 6 generations*
Reposted by BeTheCookie
full frontal crudités
December 6, 2025 at 4:23 AM
full frontal crudités
Reposted by BeTheCookie
when we design our new planet I’m definitely voting for see through volcanoes
December 6, 2025 at 4:30 AM
when we design our new planet I’m definitely voting for see through volcanoes
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Mrs. Santa’s Erotic Revue and All You Can Eat Shrimp Buffet
December 5, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Mrs. Santa’s Erotic Revue and All You Can Eat Shrimp Buffet
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Did you hear about the lycanthrope who was always distracted by his smart phone?
He was an unawarewolf.
He was an unawarewolf.
December 5, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Did you hear about the lycanthrope who was always distracted by his smart phone?
He was an unawarewolf.
He was an unawarewolf.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
already rode a bike today
December 5, 2025 at 11:28 AM
already rode a bike today
Reposted by BeTheCookie
*mouthful of asbestos
I’m having the time of my life.
I’m having the time of my life.
December 5, 2025 at 11:55 AM
*mouthful of asbestos
I’m having the time of my life.
I’m having the time of my life.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
I’m not gonna let you borrow my Necronomicon.
Stop asking.
Stop asking.
December 5, 2025 at 3:33 AM
I’m not gonna let you borrow my Necronomicon.
Stop asking.
Stop asking.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
so do people still hula hoop and if so why
December 4, 2025 at 6:51 AM
so do people still hula hoop and if so why
Reposted by BeTheCookie
in England it’s Foz-zed Bear
December 5, 2025 at 4:28 AM
in England it’s Foz-zed Bear
Reposted by BeTheCookie
reverse cowelfontheshelfgirl
December 5, 2025 at 4:31 AM
reverse cowelfontheshelfgirl
Reposted by BeTheCookie
I can’t teach you how to be a human being. There’s no time!
December 5, 2025 at 4:24 AM
I can’t teach you how to be a human being. There’s no time!
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Megalodon is short for Mega Le Donald
December 4, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Megalodon is short for Mega Le Donald
Reposted by BeTheCookie
A movie about Dr Pimple Popper, call it the Exorcyst
December 4, 2025 at 3:09 AM
A movie about Dr Pimple Popper, call it the Exorcyst
Reposted by BeTheCookie
Nobody be alarmed. I'm going to ask Chad to feel my butt.
December 4, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Nobody be alarmed. I'm going to ask Chad to feel my butt.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
When I tell you to get out of my way I mean it, but nobody takes my car's wind chimes seriously.
December 3, 2025 at 11:18 AM
When I tell you to get out of my way I mean it, but nobody takes my car's wind chimes seriously.
Reposted by BeTheCookie
If you stand for nothing you get to sit down all day
December 2, 2025 at 11:09 AM
If you stand for nothing you get to sit down all day
Reposted by BeTheCookie
[twelve days of Christmas shopper buying all the gifts at one store] no i don’t need a gift receipt why do you keep asking that
December 2, 2025 at 11:46 AM
[twelve days of Christmas shopper buying all the gifts at one store] no i don’t need a gift receipt why do you keep asking that
Reposted by BeTheCookie
a charcuterie board but it’s just a spread of my fast food napkins to wipe off the queso
December 2, 2025 at 5:30 AM
a charcuterie board but it’s just a spread of my fast food napkins to wipe off the queso
Reposted by BeTheCookie
See if you can spot the shitbag.
Is it:
A) all of them?
B) all of them?
C) all of them?
Or
D) all of them?
Is it:
A) all of them?
B) all of them?
C) all of them?
Or
D) all of them?
December 2, 2025 at 5:40 AM
See if you can spot the shitbag.
Is it:
A) all of them?
B) all of them?
C) all of them?
Or
D) all of them?
Is it:
A) all of them?
B) all of them?
C) all of them?
Or
D) all of them?
Reposted by BeTheCookie
a medical show where i can’t get a win: losER
December 2, 2025 at 5:45 AM
a medical show where i can’t get a win: losER
Reposted by BeTheCookie
my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years*
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
December 1, 2025 at 10:41 AM
my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years*
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw