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Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social · 4h

Ten years ago today.

Tweet that reads: 'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

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Tade Thompson @tadethompson.bsky.social · 10h

She: *sends photo of woman*
She: What do you think? Is this pretty?
Me: I guess. She has dead eyes, though. Like she's being forced into taking the photo, by financial circumstances or other sinister powers. Maybe sedated to get through the working day or--
She: The dress. I mean the dress.
Me: Oh.😁

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a bug @a-bug.bsky.social · 14h

if I lived in a mansion I'd put all my important stuff in different, distant rooms from each other and then just run around all over the place all the time, just become an absolute scurrying little creature

also I'd want smooth floors so I can slide around on my socks everywhere

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Molly Shah @mommunism.bsky.social · 14h

Ever since I read that pulling a dog away from sniffing is like not allowing them to read their social media feed I’ve been letting her sniff longer but I swear she is a doom scroller

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Jerad Walker @jeradwalker.bsky.social · 1d

I follow a Norwegian lighthouse keeper named Paal Bjørndal whose whole bit is sharing profound things that are inaudible due to high winds. I love the internet.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 1d

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Helen Day @lbflyawayhome.bsky.social · 14h

How to be a Ladybird man, part 20.
Smoke a pipe. Never cigarettes. Always a pipe
Artist: Robert Ayton
(The Weather, 1962)

A man, smoking a straight pipe, looks intently at a rain gauge. He is wearing collar, tie and a sensible sweater

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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 16h

thinking about the time a cool Instagram fashion account asked me to name my favorite products and i didn't know i was supposed to name fashion products, so i said pigeon food because i like feeding pigeons and their followers were like "why the fuck do i need pigeon food for my outfit?"

The Instagram account Saint featured me. The first slide says: "Derek Guy - Dieworkwear. Derek Guy is a menswear writer who has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and Mr. Porter. He also runs a menswear blog called Die, Workwear"

One of the slides showing my favorite products. It's it's a big bag of Hagen pigeon food. The food is fortified with the vitamins and nutrients pigeons need.

Instagram user writes: "Why tf do i need pigeon food for my outfit." I replied: "this is what i can afford to eat after spending all my money on clothes ::sad face::"

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Sue Cowley @suecowley.bsky.social · 15h

Can anyone who has the ear of government please tell them that you don't improve things by setting ever higher targets? Sigh.

Schools Week @schoolsweek.bsky.social · 15h

The government will set a new national 'ambition' for 90 per cent of pupils to reach the expected standard in phonics, Bridget Phillipson will reveal today

schoolsweek.co.uk/national-amb...

Phillipson to reveal phonics check national 'ambition'

The government will set a new “ambition” for 90 per cent of pupils to reach the expected standard in phonics, Bridget Phillipson will reveal tomorrow. The education secretary will also officially…

schoolsweek.co.uk

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Hayley Stevens @hayleyisaghost.bsky.social · 14h

I have just learned that "eye of newt" is mustard seeds

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Parody Keir Starmer @parodypm.bsky.social · 1d

Here’s the latest 'scoop' being spread by right wing gobshites on Shitter. Except:
-he’s not a teacher, he’s an assistant
-the school didn’t sack him, he works for an agency
-they stopped using him not for putting up flags but for posting racist bollocks and misinformation online.

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🎃scarecrowcialism👻 @swolecialism.bsky.social · 1d

The way these guys strain against mortality is only going to get weirder tbh. I would caution anyone against conspiratorial thinking that "they know something we don't" because, first and foremost, these techlord guys are morons

ae @aelkus.bsky.social · 1d

www.bbc.com/news/article...

"I once met a former bodyguard of one billionaire with his own "bunker", who told me his security team's first priority, if this really did happen, would be to eliminate said boss and get in the bunker themselves. And he didn't seem to be joking."

Tech billionaires seem to be doom prepping. Should we be worried?

The debate is ramping up about what happens if - or when - computer intelligence overtakes humans

www.bbc.com

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Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 1d

you fucked around and now the Episcopalians are doing memes. are you happy now. are you

Screenshot of a Facebook post featuring three of the Portland protesters wearing inflatable frog costumes with the following text:

Episcopalians on Facebook
Elizabeth Rose Elrod • 22h •
Exodus 8:2-6
"But if you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs...
The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials."

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"max" @ringworm.bsky.social · 8d

out on the dungeon floor infinitegossip.ghost.io/out-on-the-d...

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DiscordianKitty⭐ @discordiankitty.bsky.social · 1d

This hotel we're going to tonight does not fuck around. Every meal option includes a "bottle of wine per person" 😭

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Lee Healey ✍🏻 @leehealey.bsky.social · 1d

It's #WeetBixDay 🥐 🥞 🥓 🍳

Is too!

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LukeBMTB @lukebmtb.bsky.social · 1d

"You boy! Could you summon medical assistance?"

Scrooge leaning out of a window meme image

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Winter @kernowshark.bsky.social · 1d

Drinking beer at 7am because all the water is horrible.

So this is what being a medieval monk was like.

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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 1d

the subreddits for luxury watches are some of the darkest places on earth

Rolex subreddit post:

My uncle has Alzheimer's and is often forgetful of his possessions. One of them is a Rolex Submariner. Would I be justified in taking and caring for it as my own instead of having it left neglected and forgotten in his jewelry box? Thanks.

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 1d

"Good news, everyone. We're going to try to stop it from getting you to kill yourself. Don't ask how. Also, you can fuck it. Don't ask why."

And the US is spending more on *that* than consumer spending. Every company relentlessly trying to cram *that* into their product. The government included.

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 1d

Altman: the next update will *not* tell people to kill themselves in order to attain quantum resonance with god.

Everyone: yeah that'd be pretty nice

Altman: It will *not* tell people to murder their spouses.

Everyone: cool, good feature.

Altman: and you can fuck it

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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 1d

I would raise the Titanic from the bottom of the Atlantic and have it transported to the Pacific and dropped into the Challenger Deep

doctober @docseuss.bsky.social · 2d

lets say a wizard has cursed you with a lot of money. you are going to become permanently brain damaged simply by being in possession of so much money. the only way out of it is to spend a lot of money on something ridiculous and not at all useful

what would you buy to break the curse?

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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 2d

TIL that the aggro af wasps you see in late summer are worker wasps who have finished their nest tasks and are all out seeking sweet stuff and raising hell for the locals with the last days of their lives while waiting to die, wasps are basically just the insect version of retired Brits in Spain

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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 2d

I realised I've been going to Greggs too regularly when I got invited to the leaving do for one of the workers.

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Nick Fitzsimons @nickfitz.bsky.social · 2d

There are some tips on reducing the horror at www.wired.com/story/how-to...

How to (Mostly) Get Rid of Liquid Glass

Not everyone likes Apple’s springy, jiggly, see-through Liquid Glass interface. If you’re not a fan, tweaking these settings will make your iPhone, iPad, or Mac a lot less bubbly.

www.wired.com

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