fesshole 🧻
@fesshole.bsky.social
Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you?
Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Add confession b3ta.com/addfess
Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social
Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Add confession b3ta.com/addfess
Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social
Pinned
fesshole 🧻
@fesshole.bsky.social
· Nov 3
FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: Liverpool, Leicester, Leeds, Sweden (Malmö, GÖTEBORG, STOCKHOLM), also Anon Opin In London / Leicester sites.google.com/view/fesshole
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+bes...
Add your fess: b3ta.com/addfess
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/513...
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+bes...
Add your fess: b3ta.com/addfess
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/513...
Work in an old peoples care home, the most common regret about their lives is the sex they didn't have. Now a lot of them are making up for that.
December 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Work in an old peoples care home, the most common regret about their lives is the sex they didn't have. Now a lot of them are making up for that.
The previous owners of our house have not updated their address on their Tesco clubcard so we get sent all of their vouchers, which I have happily spent for the last 10 years
December 4, 2025 at 11:20 AM
The previous owners of our house have not updated their address on their Tesco clubcard so we get sent all of their vouchers, which I have happily spent for the last 10 years
Two fesses that came in one after each other that work as a pair.
December 4, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Two fesses that came in one after each other that work as a pair.
I have a large collection of order of service books from funerals I've been to over the years. I keep them in a box in the boot of my car. I can't seem to throw them in the bin after the service as it seems so disrespectful. What are you supposed to do with them?
December 4, 2025 at 10:20 AM
I have a large collection of order of service books from funerals I've been to over the years. I keep them in a box in the boot of my car. I can't seem to throw them in the bin after the service as it seems so disrespectful. What are you supposed to do with them?
Reposted by fesshole 🧻
Made a starter pack of all the accounts I run on BlueSky - Fesshole, B3ta, Anon Opin, Swearclock, Yore Computer, Random Smash Hits & Clickbait Robot. Make your feed entirely my bullshit. go.bsky.app/Ej3fmNR
December 3, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Made a starter pack of all the accounts I run on BlueSky - Fesshole, B3ta, Anon Opin, Swearclock, Yore Computer, Random Smash Hits & Clickbait Robot. Make your feed entirely my bullshit. go.bsky.app/Ej3fmNR
Recently been clearing out my late dad's house and found his, frankly vast, porn collection. It is so meticulously catalogued and organised I don't have the heart to get rid and now I need to find an excuse for why we need an extra shed
December 4, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Recently been clearing out my late dad's house and found his, frankly vast, porn collection. It is so meticulously catalogued and organised I don't have the heart to get rid and now I need to find an excuse for why we need an extra shed
At work we have a weekly team meeting where we do a quiz at the end, winner hosts the following week. I love a quiz, but I purposefully wait to hear what everyone else scored and then say I got 1 point less than the top score, otherwise I'd win every week.
December 4, 2025 at 8:20 AM
At work we have a weekly team meeting where we do a quiz at the end, winner hosts the following week. I love a quiz, but I purposefully wait to hear what everyone else scored and then say I got 1 point less than the top score, otherwise I'd win every week.
Fesshole Live is hitting the road! See us in Leicester, Luton and Leeds – tickets out now. Then it’s the Sweden Tour (Malmö, Göteborg, Stockholm) and Anon Opin in Leicester. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
December 4, 2025 at 8:10 AM
Fesshole Live is hitting the road! See us in Leicester, Luton and Leeds – tickets out now. Then it’s the Sweden Tour (Malmö, Göteborg, Stockholm) and Anon Opin in Leicester. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
My company shares a building with the Met Police. It's genuinely scary going to work every day to be greeted with a sign telling you what today's terror alert level is. Some things you're better off not knowing.
December 3, 2025 at 11:20 PM
My company shares a building with the Met Police. It's genuinely scary going to work every day to be greeted with a sign telling you what today's terror alert level is. Some things you're better off not knowing.
I was a dog handler with the police; stopped one night to get a kebab & heard a call over the radio of a stabbing nearby. 30 seconds later a guy got into my unmarked car. They were covered in blood & said "you a taxi, yeah?" as they'd seen the aerials. Nicked.
December 3, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I was a dog handler with the police; stopped one night to get a kebab & heard a call over the radio of a stabbing nearby. 30 seconds later a guy got into my unmarked car. They were covered in blood & said "you a taxi, yeah?" as they'd seen the aerials. Nicked.
As students, went to a party; found a bottle of peach schnapps & my mate & I got smashed. On the way home he tried car door handles. Found one open, he sat in, I gave him a little push, & off he went down a hill, hitting a wall before we scarpered. Sorry original Fiat 500.
December 3, 2025 at 9:20 PM
As students, went to a party; found a bottle of peach schnapps & my mate & I got smashed. On the way home he tried car door handles. Found one open, he sat in, I gave him a little push, & off he went down a hill, hitting a wall before we scarpered. Sorry original Fiat 500.
I've been married twice 18 years apart. I wore the same shoes both times. I haven't told my wife because I'm worried it might upset her and I love her dearly. They're just really comfortable shoes and I knew I'd have to wear them for over 12 hours.
December 3, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I've been married twice 18 years apart. I wore the same shoes both times. I haven't told my wife because I'm worried it might upset her and I love her dearly. They're just really comfortable shoes and I knew I'd have to wear them for over 12 hours.
Worked on a film set where I'd remotely control computers rather than the actors actually use them. During a rehearsal I felt cheeky and turned the main actors screen off and watched him quietly panic he'd crashed an expensive computer right before a take. Never told anyone.
December 3, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Worked on a film set where I'd remotely control computers rather than the actors actually use them. During a rehearsal I felt cheeky and turned the main actors screen off and watched him quietly panic he'd crashed an expensive computer right before a take. Never told anyone.
My dad always pissed on the toilet seat and never wiped it up. I got so sick of this I started to use his sponge to mop it up before sitting for a dump. I did this for at least a year and he never swapped that sponge out up until I moved out. Piss face. Bet he still pisses on it.
December 3, 2025 at 6:20 PM
My dad always pissed on the toilet seat and never wiped it up. I got so sick of this I started to use his sponge to mop it up before sitting for a dump. I did this for at least a year and he never swapped that sponge out up until I moved out. Piss face. Bet he still pisses on it.
In a relationship but I like having a shot swiping on my single friends dating apps for them. Most of the time it's a bit of fun to try find them a good match, sometimes just enjoying seeing the good looking people. Don't think my partner would see it the same.
December 3, 2025 at 5:20 PM
In a relationship but I like having a shot swiping on my single friends dating apps for them. Most of the time it's a bit of fun to try find them a good match, sometimes just enjoying seeing the good looking people. Don't think my partner would see it the same.
I hated my old job so much that when I'd go to the loo and it was just me, I'd dispense an obscene amount of liquid soap straight down the sink and bin as many paper towels as I could get away with. I doubt it cost the large, UK telecoms firm much, but it made me feel better.
December 3, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I hated my old job so much that when I'd go to the loo and it was just me, I'd dispense an obscene amount of liquid soap straight down the sink and bin as many paper towels as I could get away with. I doubt it cost the large, UK telecoms firm much, but it made me feel better.
Confession time is now. Fill out the form: http://b3ta.com/addfess
December 3, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Confession time is now. Fill out the form: http://b3ta.com/addfess
I work from home and have found a way of appearing to be online and look busy. No one can send a Teams message as it looks like I'm presenting a meeting, I'm presenting to no one and use this time to catch up on sleep. I'm too addicted to online games to sleep at night.
December 3, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I work from home and have found a way of appearing to be online and look busy. No one can send a Teams message as it looks like I'm presenting a meeting, I'm presenting to no one and use this time to catch up on sleep. I'm too addicted to online games to sleep at night.
I get great pleasure having off ticketing websites that wont let me buy two seats because it leaves one single so I basket the single in a different browser then get the two I want. It often means I end up with a spare seat next to me at the show. Bonus.
December 3, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I get great pleasure having off ticketing websites that wont let me buy two seats because it leaves one single so I basket the single in a different browser then get the two I want. It often means I end up with a spare seat next to me at the show. Bonus.
Ordered a pair of trousers from Next. Received a pair that had very obviously been returned previously and repackaged. Tried them on anyway and found £50 in the pocket. Returned the trousers, kept the cash. Early birthday treat for me. Not sorry.
December 3, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Ordered a pair of trousers from Next. Received a pair that had very obviously been returned previously and repackaged. Tried them on anyway and found £50 in the pocket. Returned the trousers, kept the cash. Early birthday treat for me. Not sorry.
My 40-year-old wife went to buy champagne for our wedding anniversary dinner. I phoned the off licence after she left, gave a description of her and what she was buying and requested they ask her for ID. She came home absolutely beaming. It's the simple things.
December 3, 2025 at 12:20 PM
My 40-year-old wife went to buy champagne for our wedding anniversary dinner. I phoned the off licence after she left, gave a description of her and what she was buying and requested they ask her for ID. She came home absolutely beaming. It's the simple things.
I work in a police custody suite, lad came in for dealing cocaine having hidden it on his person. Found a small vial with powder in it and I poured it out on thinking it was gear, turned out to be his dad's ashes. Felt mortified and have always felt terrible over it.
December 3, 2025 at 11:20 AM
I work in a police custody suite, lad came in for dealing cocaine having hidden it on his person. Found a small vial with powder in it and I poured it out on thinking it was gear, turned out to be his dad's ashes. Felt mortified and have always felt terrible over it.
I gave a promotion to the second top employee on my team, instead of the first. Because I caught the first one making himself a cup of tea in the office microwave. Inexcusable barbaric behaviour.
December 3, 2025 at 10:20 AM
I gave a promotion to the second top employee on my team, instead of the first. Because I caught the first one making himself a cup of tea in the office microwave. Inexcusable barbaric behaviour.
While walking my dog in woods I found a large tea-flask. It had been hollowed out and was packed with drugs. Little bags of Heroin and cocaine and £500. I told the police where and what but kept the money. They put it back and later arrested two dealers.
December 3, 2025 at 9:20 AM
While walking my dog in woods I found a large tea-flask. It had been hollowed out and was packed with drugs. Little bags of Heroin and cocaine and £500. I told the police where and what but kept the money. They put it back and later arrested two dealers.
Last year, I bought six selection boxes before I managed to keep one intact to give my niece for Christmas. This year I've already smashed five of them down my cakehole, we're still weeks away. I'm surely not alone in this?
December 3, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Last year, I bought six selection boxes before I managed to keep one intact to give my niece for Christmas. This year I've already smashed five of them down my cakehole, we're still weeks away. I'm surely not alone in this?