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Jimmer Cork-Bottle

@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social

14K followers 2K following 2.2K posts

From the twelve-winded sky. Profile pic 1972. Discord: jimmerthatisall My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse

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Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 15h

“I couldn’t agree more” is the ninja of insults.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16h

shhhhh… it was a really long drive

A small white compact vehicle rests on its side on a mattress at the curb on a suburban street,

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 3d

If sitting at your kitchen table slightly drunk, watching the sunset, and listening to those old songs that meant something is wrong, then I don't want to be right

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 19d

I like to start my day by screaming while hitting my head on my steering wheel before walking into my office with a smile.

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 4d

19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 4d

BREAKING: RFK Jr Says Children Who Don’t Lose Their Father and Uncle Early On to Gun Violence Are More Susceptible to Autism

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 8d

My life is too small and I worry it will get lost in the gap behind the refrigerator.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 8d

I just called
To say
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 9d

I have a big family get-together in a couple of hours, so I still have time to fake my own death

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 1d

this episode of existence today is brought to you by the letters wtf

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 9d

I've never had access to my attic, so really anything could be up there. Bodies? Money? The set from Match Game '73?

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 2d

If a man is not willing to burn down an entire world for me, I don’t want it.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 2d

Just once I’d like my internet boyfriends to tell their wives they’re busy on a Saturday and then spend all day liking my posts.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 3d

Being a bibliophile is fun because I get to say things like “I’m reading” when I’m actually dissociating in silence.

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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 2d

I'm sorry for what I said every time I've opened my mouth.

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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 2d

Being in a room full of people is called I'm never doing that again.

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 19h

can’t spell disappointment without men

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 1d

“don’t crush your finger, finger your crush” or something like that

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 2d

wearing the night like a warning

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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 3d

Not to brag, but I think this lady at this register is checking me out.

*puts up register closed sign*

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Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 5d

I bought a pink power drill, so it’s over for you bitches

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 1d

I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 3d

Who needs sex when you have cool ranch doritos?

Therapist: *scribbling furiously*

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

i’m suing jd vance for causing my tubes to tie themselves

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

bsky is the end of sm line for me. starting over again on another site is about appealing as harvesting my own organs with a shrimp fork.