If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
@stonecutter.bsky.social
Oh come the fuck on LBJ absolutely would have
November 22, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Oh come the fuck on LBJ absolutely would have
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Walking around with a weighted blanket draped over my shoulders, as my new character “Anxiety James Brown”
March 30, 2024 at 3:46 PM
Walking around with a weighted blanket draped over my shoulders, as my new character “Anxiety James Brown”
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They’re saying from each according to his ability — and I have the best ability, a soldier came up to me and told me, tears in his eyes, she said “you saved America, sir,” she said, cold day, she had these rosy cheeks, unlike Rosie O’Donnell, no ability — to each, to each according to his needs.
November 21, 2025 at 9:12 PM
They’re saying from each according to his ability — and I have the best ability, a soldier came up to me and told me, tears in his eyes, she said “you saved America, sir,” she said, cold day, she had these rosy cheeks, unlike Rosie O’Donnell, no ability — to each, to each according to his needs.
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I’m tearing up a little. Recognition from someone as amazing as Dan feels good.
Also, BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT! Come to my whistle kit assembly event tonight at Nighthawk (4744 N Kimball), 5:30-8 pm!
Also, BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT! Come to my whistle kit assembly event tonight at Nighthawk (4744 N Kimball), 5:30-8 pm!
Shoutouts within to @marc-fischer.bsky.social who was the first person I saw distroing whistles and inspired me, to @bibliogrrl.bsky.social who has been 3D printing like a madwoman, and @lefttheprairie.bsky.social who has been responsible for literally tens of thousands of whistles getting out.
November 21, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I’m tearing up a little. Recognition from someone as amazing as Dan feels good.
Also, BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT! Come to my whistle kit assembly event tonight at Nighthawk (4744 N Kimball), 5:30-8 pm!
Also, BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT! Come to my whistle kit assembly event tonight at Nighthawk (4744 N Kimball), 5:30-8 pm!
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DONALD TRUMP FIVE MINUTES AFTER MEETING ME: And, you know, the Game Awards, they gave Best Music to God of War instead of Xenoblade 3, and it was very unfair
November 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
DONALD TRUMP FIVE MINUTES AFTER MEETING ME: And, you know, the Game Awards, they gave Best Music to God of War instead of Xenoblade 3, and it was very unfair
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"Proletariat." The first time I heard that I said wow, what a beautiful word. And you're going to be seeing class solidarity that's stronger, probably, than ever before
November 21, 2025 at 10:01 PM
"Proletariat." The first time I heard that I said wow, what a beautiful word. And you're going to be seeing class solidarity that's stronger, probably, than ever before
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TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 PM
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
It is unfair, on like a cosmic level, that the funniest man alive is also the most evil man alive. Truly.
Q: Are you affirming that you think President Trump is a fascist?
MAMDANI: I've spoken about--
TRUMP: That's okay. You can just say yes. I don't mind.
MAMDANI: I've spoken about--
TRUMP: That's okay. You can just say yes. I don't mind.
November 21, 2025 at 10:11 PM
It is unfair, on like a cosmic level, that the funniest man alive is also the most evil man alive. Truly.
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TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
November 21, 2025 at 9:41 PM
TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
I love how this implies the small business owners who advertise on Ben Shapiro are “using ideology” to sell as opposed to just being ideologically aligned with right wing media.
NEW: For months, my colleagues and I dug into YouTube's conservative airwaves and found a flourishing network of host-read ads on right-leaning podcasts. This phenomenon has enriched hosts, YouTube, and businesses that use ideology to sell. bloom.bg/3Kaio9w
November 20, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I love how this implies the small business owners who advertise on Ben Shapiro are “using ideology” to sell as opposed to just being ideologically aligned with right wing media.
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Me: Obviously Lois Lane would be Miss Piggy in Muppet Superman. Kermit should be Clark Kent but *NOT* Superman. Superman is Henry Cavill and looking like a frog is just him acting meek
Fellow Bunker Resident: (glances at screen counting down “Safe Surface Radiation Level 37.6 years”) Ugh
Fellow Bunker Resident: (glances at screen counting down “Safe Surface Radiation Level 37.6 years”) Ugh
December 21, 2024 at 5:32 PM
Me: Obviously Lois Lane would be Miss Piggy in Muppet Superman. Kermit should be Clark Kent but *NOT* Superman. Superman is Henry Cavill and looking like a frog is just him acting meek
Fellow Bunker Resident: (glances at screen counting down “Safe Surface Radiation Level 37.6 years”) Ugh
Fellow Bunker Resident: (glances at screen counting down “Safe Surface Radiation Level 37.6 years”) Ugh
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:
1. We’re in a submarine!
2. Family gathering for a holiday or wedding or funeral, hijinks ensue
3. Look how stupid these cops are
4. Industry is evil
5. Rich people get what’s coming to them
1. We’re in a submarine!
2. Family gathering for a holiday or wedding or funeral, hijinks ensue
3. Look how stupid these cops are
4. Industry is evil
5. Rich people get what’s coming to them
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:
1. Saving the Community Center via breakdancing
2. Washed up baseball player LOVES him some pussy
3. Road House
4. People getting hornt about car crashes
5. Herzog
1. Saving the Community Center via breakdancing
2. Washed up baseball player LOVES him some pussy
3. Road House
4. People getting hornt about car crashes
5. Herzog
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:
- misunderstood hermit who hates everyone saves everyone
- rampaging psychopath gets their comeuppance
- person puts themselves in danger to uncover a dark secret then regrets uncovering dark secret
- sassy vigilantes fuck shit up
- dogs as sidekicks
- misunderstood hermit who hates everyone saves everyone
- rampaging psychopath gets their comeuppance
- person puts themselves in danger to uncover a dark secret then regrets uncovering dark secret
- sassy vigilantes fuck shit up
- dogs as sidekicks
November 19, 2025 at 4:04 AM
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:
1. We’re in a submarine!
2. Family gathering for a holiday or wedding or funeral, hijinks ensue
3. Look how stupid these cops are
4. Industry is evil
5. Rich people get what’s coming to them
1. We’re in a submarine!
2. Family gathering for a holiday or wedding or funeral, hijinks ensue
3. Look how stupid these cops are
4. Industry is evil
5. Rich people get what’s coming to them
At the end of the day they’re all afflicted with small business owner brain
There's this underlying petulant rage to them when they feel their authority is challenged. The specifics don't even matter, it's just spoiled whiny incredulity that -the peasants- dare to question them in the first place.
November 18, 2025 at 10:02 PM
At the end of the day they’re all afflicted with small business owner brain
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If I can give 3 pieces of unsolicited advice to people facing ICE/CBP:
1) go outside
2) meet your neighbors
3) be loud
They want you to be isolated and afraid so they can work in secret, control the narrative, and act with impunity. They lose power when we see what’s happening and to whom.
1) go outside
2) meet your neighbors
3) be loud
They want you to be isolated and afraid so they can work in secret, control the narrative, and act with impunity. They lose power when we see what’s happening and to whom.
November 18, 2025 at 7:57 PM
If I can give 3 pieces of unsolicited advice to people facing ICE/CBP:
1) go outside
2) meet your neighbors
3) be loud
They want you to be isolated and afraid so they can work in secret, control the narrative, and act with impunity. They lose power when we see what’s happening and to whom.
1) go outside
2) meet your neighbors
3) be loud
They want you to be isolated and afraid so they can work in secret, control the narrative, and act with impunity. They lose power when we see what’s happening and to whom.
Reposted by If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
SHOW ME MORE EXCERPTS FROM THAT STUPID BOOK I FUCKING DARE YOU
November 18, 2025 at 2:25 PM
SHOW ME MORE EXCERPTS FROM THAT STUPID BOOK I FUCKING DARE YOU
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The Pop Tarts have invented Democratic Calvinism. I’m excited to see what they eventually cook up as their eschatology. On that day will be the end of all non-five-minute breakfasts
BREAKING: We’re getting six (!) edible mascots at this year’s @poptartsbowl.com!
- six edible mascots, three on Team Sprinkles and three on Team Swirls
- fans get to vote on which mascot team to sacrifice to Mouth Heaven at game’s end, the biggest edible mascot sacrifice EVER
- six edible mascots, three on Team Sprinkles and three on Team Swirls
- fans get to vote on which mascot team to sacrifice to Mouth Heaven at game’s end, the biggest edible mascot sacrifice EVER
November 18, 2025 at 1:51 PM
The Pop Tarts have invented Democratic Calvinism. I’m excited to see what they eventually cook up as their eschatology. On that day will be the end of all non-five-minute breakfasts
Another week another “huh probably not great that 20% of the internet runs through this one service”
November 18, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Another week another “huh probably not great that 20% of the internet runs through this one service”
I ain’t reading that
November 18, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I ain’t reading that
Sooooo many stupid people are going to fall for the MTG stuff
November 18, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Sooooo many stupid people are going to fall for the MTG stuff
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Reposted by If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
My newspaper told me unethical creeps keep eating his journalists so I asked how many journalists he has and he said he just goes to the j school and gets a new journalist afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding journalists to unethical creeps and then his ombudsman started crying
Olivia Nuzzi got sent in to do a profile but it turned out she wanted to fuck the subject so we sent in Jacob Bernstein to profile her and it turns out he also wants to fuck the subject
you can’t be putting this in the paper (gift link but i do not recommend you use it www.nytimes.com/2025/11/14/s...)
November 14, 2025 at 6:08 PM
My newspaper told me unethical creeps keep eating his journalists so I asked how many journalists he has and he said he just goes to the j school and gets a new journalist afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding journalists to unethical creeps and then his ombudsman started crying
Reposted by If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
Reposted by If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
CHOTINER: So you had reasons for visiting the island?
SUMMERS: Is butiful plce
CHOTINER: Is that buttiful or beautiful?
SUMMERS: 51 % of 1. Wmen or seenery, nt shr wich.
SUMMERS: Is butiful plce
CHOTINER: Is that buttiful or beautiful?
SUMMERS: 51 % of 1. Wmen or seenery, nt shr wich.
I am putting my bets on Summers being the first Epstein correspondent to be interviewed by Chotiner: he has exactly the right mix of arrogance and self-righteousness
November 14, 2025 at 12:54 AM
CHOTINER: So you had reasons for visiting the island?
SUMMERS: Is butiful plce
CHOTINER: Is that buttiful or beautiful?
SUMMERS: 51 % of 1. Wmen or seenery, nt shr wich.
SUMMERS: Is butiful plce
CHOTINER: Is that buttiful or beautiful?
SUMMERS: 51 % of 1. Wmen or seenery, nt shr wich.
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outside of individual donations to gofundmes and such, one helpful destination for your money right now is this bond fund. everyone being released from broadview needs to pay $1500 bond, which is obviously insane. it's going to cost like $925k to successfully spring 615 people linktr.ee/mw_bondfund
Midwest Immigration Bond Fund | Linktree
We formed in 2020 & began paying out immigration bonds for IL, IN, WI, and KY.
linktr.ee
November 13, 2025 at 5:22 PM
outside of individual donations to gofundmes and such, one helpful destination for your money right now is this bond fund. everyone being released from broadview needs to pay $1500 bond, which is obviously insane. it's going to cost like $925k to successfully spring 615 people linktr.ee/mw_bondfund
Reposted by If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
another neighbor got abducted today, new gofundme about to drop. if you're in the NW side he was a server at Alps and they are donating 25% of sales this weekend to him. as for my prior neighbor who got abducted, his gofundme was a huge help to his family and will be used to bond him out imminently
November 13, 2025 at 5:20 PM
another neighbor got abducted today, new gofundme about to drop. if you're in the NW side he was a server at Alps and they are donating 25% of sales this weekend to him. as for my prior neighbor who got abducted, his gofundme was a huge help to his family and will be used to bond him out imminently